perkycarrot Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 First of all, let's say he is a thin, attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. Do you think the female would be arm candy or do you think he'd actually want to get to know her? A friend of mine has been having dinners with a 74 year old married man. (He hasn't had a sexual relationship with his wife in over 30 years, and she is ok with any extra martial activity, as long as he doesn't flaunt it. His wife lives in London, he lives in the states and so does my friend.) Anyway, he doesn't call my friend everyday due a hectic work schedule. He runs some sort of international business. She feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind. He only calls to schedule these dinners with her. She hasn't had sex with him, but he has asked her if she'd be interested in that at some point. He has also expressed interest in taking her on trips to Spain and whatnot. He told her he's looking for someone to share the beauty in life with. He'd like it include sex sometimes, and said it could also lead to love. He has left the nature of their relationship in her hands. Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it? Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 First of all, let's say he is a thin, attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. Do you think the female would be arm candy or do you think he'd actually want to get to know her? A friend of mine has been having dinners with a 74 year old married man. (He hasn't had a sexual relationship with his wife in over 30 years, and she is ok with any extra martial activity, as long as he doesn't flaunt it. His wife lives in London, he lives in the states and so does my friend.) Anyway, he doesn't call my friend everyday due a hectic work schedule. He runs some sort of international business. She feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind. He only calls to schedule these dinners with her. She hasn't had sex with him, but he has asked her if she'd be interested in that at some point. He has also expressed interest in taking her on trips to Spain and whatnot. He told her he's looking for someone to share the beauty in life with. He'd like it include sex sometimes, and said it could also lead to love. He has left the nature of their relationship in her hands. Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it? Arm candy. Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 He might really care. If he didn't - escort service would be simpler. Is she smart/substantive? First of all, let's say he is a thin, attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. Do you think the female would be arm candy or do you think he'd actually want to get to know her? A friend of mine has been having dinners with a 74 year old married man. (He hasn't had a sexual relationship with his wife in over 30 years, and she is ok with any extra martial activity, as long as he doesn't flaunt it. His wife lives in London, he lives in the states and so does my friend.) Anyway, he doesn't call my friend everyday due a hectic work schedule. He runs some sort of international business. She feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind. He only calls to schedule these dinners with her. She hasn't had sex with him, but he has asked her if she'd be interested in that at some point. He has also expressed interest in taking her on trips to Spain and whatnot. He told her he's looking for someone to share the beauty in life with. He'd like it include sex sometimes, and said it could also lead to love. He has left the nature of their relationship in her hands. Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I suspect he will need a lot of work with the perkiness of his carrot. She may find that the efforts needed to give him a consistent workable erection that he can keep for the a round of intercourse gets a little old, even if they are screwing in Madrid. At his age, he isn't going to get a divorce and marry her. So she does get the luxury up-front of knowing exactly the parameters of the EMA. Link to post Share on other sites
mybrowneyedgirl Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 my MM is older (not 30 years though). i definitely wouldnt have been attracted to him if we were both single meeting in a bar somewhere. my friends all asked wtf i was thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
mybrowneyedgirl Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 funny, friends of mine who have been with older men complained about the carrot issue. we didnt have that in my affair so ive concluded he was taking something. but i have no idea about this subject....what age do they normally start having trouble in that area? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 50 is considered the age where problems really first start appearing. Like any Bell, some guys have issues at 40 and some at 60. But with the high prevalence of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, blood sugar problems, etc, in older men, the risk of ED runs much higher the older you get. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 OP, having known a few such men (they can be great business mentors), I would say this gentleman likes companionship of the female kind to take his mind off of his other affairs. Financial and social reasons likely top his desire to remain married. So, he has 'dinners' with ladies whom he befriends in different cities or countries. I'm sure there are numerous ones. As much as I travel, and it likely pales in comparison to him, I could have a different 'friend' in every country I went to. It's nice having a companion. A man his age (and even mine, 50) enjoys the company of a lovely and cultured woman who is energetic and attentive. He'll likely reward that, like with a trip to Spain. As far as 'function', it depends on the man. There are some men his age that are like the Energizer bunny, without Viagra or other drugs, and there are some who need a crane to get it up. If she enjoys the time she spends with him and can accept that time as their 'relationship', I'd say go for it. She'll likely learn a lot about life and be exposed to new experiences. Best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 He wants an escort. They aren't going to get married because he is already MARRIED. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 He is looking for companionship when it is convienent for him. He does seem to have a full life, and wants someone to share parts of it with. If she is okay with that... *shrug* But if she is expecting to get more out of it than a few nice trips and some nice meals, she needs to move on. As to whether he can perform sexually, he seems to be wanting to, so perhaps it is not an issue for him. My father-in-law passed away at age 84. A few weeks before he died he was making love all night with his 65 year old woman-friend. She said he was the best lover she had ever had, and he didn't need medicinal assistance to make love to her for hours. Link to post Share on other sites
boundaryproblem Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 If she was choosing for her own daughter, would she want her daughter dating him? Many of these businessmen are charismatic and sexy. But it will be all about him. yawn. He chooses to be married. He chooses to work a lot. He is deliberately relegating your friend to a VERY small part of his life. She deserves soooo much better. Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it? I think a forty year age difference could be workable, albeit, not common. The most significant and meaningful R in my life was when I was 18y/o, he was 49y/o. I’m sure lots of people thought “he must be buying her” and we did get stares at times when we were affectionate and obviously not father/ daughter. But we were in love and dated several years before we broke up due to circumstances. My attraction has always been for guys 25-35yrs older than me and the age difference has never played a role in compatibility, and never in a R (a serious one) did I feel like I was just eye candy. Originally Posted by fallenangel He is looking for companionship when it is convenient for him. He does seem to have a full life, and wants someone to share parts of it with. If she is okay with that... *shrug* But if she is expecting to get more out of it than a few nice trips and some nice meals, she needs to move on. In your scenario, I would have to agree with FA Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 First of all, let's say he is a thin, attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. Do you think the female would be arm candy or do you think he'd actually want to get to know her? A friend of mine has been having dinners with a 74 year old married man. (He hasn't had a sexual relationship with his wife in over 30 years, and she is ok with any extra martial activity, as long as he doesn't flaunt it. His wife lives in London, he lives in the states and so does my friend.) Anyway, he doesn't call my friend everyday due a hectic work schedule. He runs some sort of international business. She feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind. He only calls to schedule these dinners with her. She hasn't had sex with him, but he has asked her if she'd be interested in that at some point. He has also expressed interest in taking her on trips to Spain and whatnot. He told her he's looking for someone to share the beauty in life with. He'd like it include sex sometimes, and said it could also lead to love. He has left the nature of their relationship in her hands. Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it?Let me get this straight. He has a wife on another continent, wants to eventually move into a sexual R with this young hottie, and cannot make a phone call each day? Put in the time if you wanna do the crime. I'd say he's got a few OWs out there. And that is why he doesn't call more often--his plate is quite full. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Age difference aside. Any ( married) guy who is dating outside of the marriage is looking for sex. Whether he's still sexually active... I do believe only Hugh Hefner can answer that. lol But honestly why is your friend seeking options from this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 But honestly why is your friend seeking options from this guy? Same as any other person (woman in this case). He has something she wants. He possesses qualities she finds attractive. It's really no more complex than that. FWIW, men (and women too) change as they age. The absolutes of youth evolve as one grows older. The man in the OP has seen the majority of his life before him. He's not the man who courts you as a 25-30 year old. His life, his needs, his perspective are far different and generally far more complex as an older man. I say this because, at 50, I have male friends in his age group and in between (50's-60's), some for a number of decades now, and see the changes. I don't believe affairs are healthy and I likely wouldn't be interested in a 74 year old woman, but I'm not the OP's friend. We're all different. The OP's friend is in her 30's and is a big girl with life experience. Sounds like she's going to get some more Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 He won't divorce his wife. Why would he? It isn't as if he needs to. Link to post Share on other sites
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