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In love with a MM...possible to pursue other guys?


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Only the second man I have ever been in love with is not only married, he's my boss. Needless to say, NC doesn't really work right now. I have worked for him for over 2 years and have been 'seeing' him for about 9 months now.

 

Recently I have been trying to get myself 'out there' and see other guys. I really have been trying to go about it seriously. After I leave Mr. Right now of the day, I find my self wanting MM even more because I don't feel this new guy can live up to what I am still in love with. An unfair comparison, probly, but I can't think otherwise.

 

Sometimes I feel like a good Mr. Right now would serve as a great distraction to help me push myself away from MM. Someone else to focus on. All I find is that it makes me want him even more and I realize more of what I am missing without him. Is it possible to move on when you are still hopelessly in love with someone else?

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When you find out let me know. I swear I would date 20 men a day if I thought it could help me get over my MM with less pain.

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The fact that you recognise forming another emotional attachment will help is healthy.

 

The fact that you can't quite yet is normal.

 

It may feel painful and pointless for a while. But on some level you have moved on from MM. Good.

 

I think we can eventually let go by allowing ourselves to see how damaging the no hope EMA is.

 

I would recommend talking to MM about the damage and your need for something worthwhile. (As Fallen Angel has done, see thread Dear Him).If he persists in pursuing the attachment even recognising it is to your detriment then he is no good, and this awareness will help you.

 

If he lets you go, then it will fade eventually.

 

If it doesn't, look for another job. As he is your boss, there might already be an unhealthy power issue here.

 

Good luck finding new love!

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Humm... I don't think it's possible if you are that much in love with your MM.. you will always compare the new guy.. and no one will stand a chance..

 

NC is not an option.. even a talk with him is not an option.. even if he pulls away from you.. it will only draw you back even more to him... that won't work.

 

The only option is to look for another job if you really want to end the A... no other option is possible as long as you will be head over heels for him..

 

Plus he might want 'exclusivity' .. just because he's scared of STD's ... if you see other guys, he might get mad and fire you.. not good ... :o

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lonelyandfrustrated

Plus he might want 'exclusivity' .. just because he's scared of STD's ... if you see other guys, he might get mad and fire you.. not good ... :o

 

Why not? A friend of mine was awarded $180,000 in a sexual harassment lawsuit against her boss. That might actually be FUN, as well as lucrative.

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Why not? A friend of mine was awarded $180,000 in a sexual harassment lawsuit against her boss. That might actually be FUN, as well as lucrative.

 

Yabutt.. in her case, she would have to prove it is.. :o

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I don't think it's possible if you do love him.

I tried it - really REALLY didn't work.

 

UGH.. there goes the thought I was having about accepting the date that a guy I know keeps asking me for..

 

He is attractive, and intelligent, but I have really had no desire to go out with him because he is not HIM, ya know? But I thought maybe it would help.. now I wonder if it just might not make me want my MM more, because I really just like this guy as a friend...

 

If I didn't love the MM, this guy would be considered a great catch by me. UGH. THIS SUCKS A WHOLE SIX PACK OF .. umm.. penises...:o

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mybrowneyedgirl

editing to not get flagged again. FA your comments always make me want to say something smart A** like a six pack sure is a whole lot of pen**es.

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editing to not get flagged again. FA your comments always make me want to say something smart A** like a six pack sure is a whole lot of pen**es.

 

LOL.. yeah, that six pack thing once got me muted for a week on a game I play online.. lmao! But I was less selective in my choice of word describing the male genitals. OOps.. lol. :o

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LakesideDream
I don't think it's possible if you do love him.

I tried it - really REALLY didn't work.

 

I have to agree. When I'm in love it turns off my emotions towards others. Is that unusual?

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I have to agree. When I'm in love it turns off my emotions towards others. Is that unusual?

 

No, I think it is supposed to be that way when you are in love. Even though I see men who are handsome, I admire their beauty but in the same way I would admire a beautiful woman, I enjoy the pleasantness of thier features. But, I do not feel any physical attraction. And I do not develop any emotional attachment to them either, even though I may like their character very much. I wish I could be truly attracted to someone else... (My best girlfriend said that we should just learn to be attracted to each other and hook up, lol. cause if one of us was a man we would be the perfect couple.. lmao.. if only.. that would save me so much pain!!)

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FA...so funny...my BF says the same thing! She keeps telling me I have to get the sex change though cause I'm the tallest...

 

As far as dating others...I date lots even though I'm very much in love with my MM. I've not met 1 that can topple him in any way, shape or form. My hope is that I can...that at some point I'll meet someone who can make me feel the way he does. I tend to doubt it, but I'm not willing to not try.

 

As far as I'm concerned go out and be spoiled...enjoy the attention of other men...it doesn't have to go far...dating is getting ot know each other...do it and see what happens. I don't have young children so I find it takes up some of my free evenings.

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