what to expect from a BS?

[mybrowneyedgirl]

So for all of those OW out there, what did his wife do after D-day?

 

Did she come after you? Confront you? tell your H?

 

And what did she do to the MM? kick him out? make his life hell? forgive him?

 

I'm just interested in whats to come because his BW might just be more than a little emotional and I'm waiting on edge.

 

my H already knows so thats not a problem. and shes already threatened to call him. but i'm sure theres more to come...

[whichwayisup]

Anything can happen..People do crazy things when pushed past their emotional limit. Just look in the newspapers/tv news daily.

 

It could depend on how HE is handling D-Day..If he's being upfront and honest, or if he's still lying to her, gaslighting her.. Every situation is different and some BS's will confront the OW and some won't.

 

Have you confessed EVERYTHING to your husband? If not, you should consider doing so.

[mybrowneyedgirl]

yes. my husband knows EVERYTHING. as hard as that was to do, i felt i couldnt start to heal and repair things if i was still covering lies.

 

but hes still lying. his "ok yes ive still been lying so i'll come clean" story is also a lie.

[Fallen Angel]

On our first Dday she was going to throw him out, but he happened to be quite ill at the time, and since he had been honest with her, she just kind of let it go... *shrug* Who knows what will happen when it happens again, but I think she knows already anyway, we are just far too open about it for her NOT to, ya know? so.. i have no clue what she might do, but she has never contacted me, and she has my phone number...

[skylarblue]

So for all of those OW out there, what did his wife do after D-day?

 

Did she come after you? Confront you? tell your H?

 

And what did she do to the MM? kick him out? make his life hell? forgive him?

 

I was friends with a MM whose W thought we were having an A. We weren’t. She confronted me once over the phone, asked me several questions, accused me of being “the c*nt who was f*cking her H.” To make a long story short, they ended up getting a D. We started dating for a little while afterwards and she would come to his job, mostly drunk, screaming how “he left her for some young wh*re” and how “he threw her out of her own home with nothing”. Just total bullsh*t. But she really turned psycho when I moved in with him. She would call the house, threaten and curse me out, steal the mail, ripped the flowers out the lawn, dump trash out of the trash cans, throw things in the pool. Just really f*cking childish sh*t. Oh, and she liked to come by and turn on the water hose so it would run the bill up. And she would get her new BF to drive her to the house to do it! She finally stopped when she drove by and saw her kids (he had custody) had to clean up the messes she was causing. Security cameras and police intervention ended the other things. What’s funny is in the middle of everything she called me up and said “we should hang out sometime. Go and have dinner.” ...Yeah, right.

I don’t think most BS confront the OW, but I don’t know. IMO, why even waste the energy. The thing is you never know how the BS will react.

[whatisgoingon]

My xMM BS knew about us but was in denial, drunk all the time before and after she found out. They split up when the only way she could keep him from me was to go to the hospital and tell them she was afraid he was going to hurt himself and they issued a mental health warrant for his arrest I believe it is called a 302 warrant not sure though. The police picked him up in front of other peoples children with guns drawn, handcuffed him and took him to the psych ward, all the time she was standing there screaming her crazy head off. When he got to the hospital the police told the drs that they believed she was the crazy one and they brought in the wrong person, he was to spend 24 hrs for evaluation they let him go in 4 hrs.

 

When that did not work she started calling me again trying really hard to be my best friend telling me obviously she does not make him happy and good luck to me maybe I am what he needs. They have no children.

 

Well they have since reconciled for about the 3rd time in a yr and half and she called me yesterday calling me a b**ch and every other name you can imagine. Last week I was at a place and he was there I was with friends she was not around he and I got in to a disagreement outside when she pulled up in front of house she flipped out asking if we were together (we were not) then pushed me and asked me just to f**k him right there so she believes it is going on so she can see it with her own eyes. He grabbed her told her to knock it off she started crying as she was drunk as usual, he got pi**ed and got in truck and left with her following him. About 2 hrs later he shows up at my house begging for forgiveness again he stayed all night. Now if I was her and he did not come home I would know for sure he was with OW IMO. But that is for her to figure out when she gets her head out of the bottle she too would probably see he is not worth the time of day, but for now I have gone NC hard as it is it does get easier everyday as long as he too stays away from me.

 

So you never know how they are going to react sometimes they are understanding, sometimes they flip out however since his BS spouse is on probation for other issues I would think it would be in her best interest to leave me alone or they have warned her any threats or harrassment to anyone will land her in jail...

[joybean72]

As a BS, I can only tell you how I handled things...(My ex had two OW though).

 

So for all of those OW out there, what did his wife do after D-day?

1st OW: Sat up all night wondering WTF I should do...just staring at the cell phone bill, crying...blah blah.

2nd OW: Felt like a f*%cking idiot for trusting and have it happen AGAIN a year later.

Did she come after you? Confront you? tell your H?

1st OW: Called her on his cell phone (cuz I couldn't sleep) saying that I would appreciate her not calling my husband. She called back right away thinking it was him. I simply asked her what was going on and wanted the truth so "I" would know what to do myself. I got the "Just friends" answer from both. Then husband claimed that SHE was stalking him...NOT the case when I showed him the cell phone bill. (Only then did he changed his story). I never bothered with her after that...just him.

2nd OW: I e-mailed her telling her that it wasn't the first time that he's done this to me and he'll do it to her too. (I was pissed!) Called him up and told him to get a lawyer. My sister sent her e-mails after I FINALLY got my things out of the house, but found a note in my drawer thanking me for the use of my husband and my bed (AND that I should "wash the sheets). She kicked when I was already down....so IMO, she's worse that the first OW.

And what did she do to the MM? kick him out? make his life hell? forgive him?

1st OW: I tried to forgive...but didn't forget. I stayed. I probably did make his life hell, because I wanted answers he wasn't providing. I never contacted her again though.

2nd OW: I left before I found out about her, but we continued to sleep together, "work on our marriage"...he gaslighted me until the end. (When he secured a place to stay and knew she'd help him with the bills, etc. I continued to pay the rent, bills even though I was not "living" there...then he moved in with her without telling me). I was a dumbass and did the begging thing.

 

It worked out for both of us in the end. He is with his OW. I have found a wonderful new man. Our divorce SHOULD be finale any day now...GOD WILLING! It's been a long road. So SOMETIMES is does work out for some OW....but I don't envy her at all. (NOT with my ex anyway).

 

That's just my story. Take care.