Jump to content

My MM cell phone called me without his knowing. Heard everything.


Recommended Posts

I have been involved with a MM for 2 years now. Very EA, some physical, but no sex. We had a very strong bond. He would tell me how much he loved me. He told me other than his wife it was just me he was involved with. We are both married me for for 18 years and him for 26 years. We find comfort in our lonely marriages. last Fri I called him and got his voice mail. I left a message. He texted me back that he will call me shortly. 15 mins later my phone rang so I answered, I heard him talking in the background, his phone mistakenly called me.

To make a long story short he was in his vehicle with a female, there was music playing and they were talking very intimately, laughing etc. At one point it seemed as though they were making out because there was no talking for a while. I heard him tell her to put her left leg to this side, she was telling him she can't see what she was doing. With the music being loud I was able to make out some of the conversation not all.

 

This continued for over an hour and I sat there and listened to the entire episode. I even recorded it just in case he wanted to deny it.

After she left him he realized his phone was on so he immediately said Hello to check to see if phone was on. I did not answer so he hung up.

 

You guessed it, he immediately text me "what's going on babe, he misses me and can't wait to see me". I replied and played along like nothing happened. I asked him where he was coming from (I wanted to hear the lie) LOL he said he went to visit his sister.

 

At that point I could not play along any longer I told him what I heard and that he should never contact me again, our relationship is over. it was very heated. I made a conscious effort at that time that I would never speak to him ever again.

 

well he has called me 3 times leaving messages that I should not believe what I heard. funny!!! all is not as it seems, he was just giving a friend a ride home.

 

He text me 3x today again I have not replied. His final text is that I have jumped the gun and that if i do not reply by tonight he will never bother me again.

I have no intentions of getting back with this serial cheater but should I give him a chance to make more of a fool of himself with an explanation.

Should I reply?

When ever I think that perhaps I am over reacting, I listen to the recording 0f them.

Should I listen to what he has to say or let him suffer knowing that he has lost the control.

your thoughts.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you call him back or answer your phone, then you know what to expect and what you're up against.

 

Question is, you now KNOW he's a serial cheater, has more than one OW, who knows if he has more..

 

18 years is alot to throw away for some MM guy who's a serial cheater. Don't even BOTHER with the MM anymore. Ignore him.

 

What about your own marriage? Your husband? Why stay married if you're so unhappy? Do you love your H? Have you opened up to him, tried to do counselling?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Send the recording to his wife :)

 

Assuming it wasn't her in the car (and, heck, even if it were), she'll likely find the information to be valuable....

Link to post
Share on other sites
I have been involved with a MM for 2 years now. Very EA, some physical, but no sex. We had a very strong bond. He would tell me how much he loved me. He told me other than his wife it was just me he was involved with. We are both married me for for 18 years and him for 26 years. We find comfort in our lonely marriages. last Fri I called him and got his voice mail. I left a message. He texted me back that he will call me shortly. 15 mins later my phone rang so I answered, I heard him talking in the background, his phone mistakenly called me.

To make a long story short he was in his vehicle with a female, there was music playing and they were talking very intimately, laughing etc. At one point it seemed as though they were making out because there was no talking for a while. I heard him tell her to put her left leg to this side, she was telling him she can't see what she was doing. With the music being loud I was able to make out some of the conversation not all.

 

This continued for over an hour and I sat there and listened to the entire episode. I even recorded it just in case he wanted to deny it.

After she left him he realized his phone was on so he immediately said Hello to check to see if phone was on. I did not answer so he hung up.

 

You guessed it, he immediately text me "what's going on babe, he misses me and can't wait to see me". I replied and played along like nothing happened. I asked him where he was coming from (I wanted to hear the lie) LOL he said he went to visit his sister.

 

At that point I could not play along any longer I told him what I heard and that he should never contact me again, our relationship is over. it was very heated. I made a conscious effort at that time that I would never speak to him ever again.

 

well he has called me 3 times leaving messages that I should not believe what I heard. funny!!! all is not as it seems, he was just giving a friend a ride home.

 

He text me 3x today again I have not replied. His final text is that I have jumped the gun and that if i do not reply by tonight he will never bother me again.

I have no intentions of getting back with this serial cheater but should I give him a chance to make more of a fool of himself with an explanation.

Should I reply?

When ever I think that perhaps I am over reacting, I listen to the recording 0f them.

Should I listen to what he has to say or let him suffer knowing that he has lost the control.

your thoughts.

Sweetheart I went through a similar situation twice. No, do NOT let this serial cheater back in. He knows his game and how to play it well. In his early 50s I doubt he's done yet. He still has some mastering to do, I'm sure.

 

It makes you wonder...how many before and how many are next doesn't it? Please PM me any time.

 

Great big hugs,

WF.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Send the recording to his wife :)

 

Assuming it wasn't her in the car (and, heck, even if it were), she'll likely find the information to be valuable....

The man is good, but not great at his game. If he were great, he would have said it was his wife all along. Duh.........

 

I would be very tempted to send it to everyone, but I tend to cool down and think things through. Not so sure that's a good thing.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The same pain you felt when you heard him with another women is the same pain your H and his W would feel knowing you two were deceptive cheats.

 

Life will always work itself out the way it's suppose to

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
I would be very tempted to send it to everyone, but I tend to cool down and think things through. Not so sure that's a good thing.

 

I would only disperse when I was cool and could think everything through. You get one chance to do this right and a bunch of people's emotions are riding on it, including yours. Hubby comes first :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
I would only disperse when I was cool and could think everything through. You get one chance to do this right and a bunch of people's emotions are riding on it, including yours. Hubby comes first :)

Not sure, since I don't know the hubby in this case and how good of one he was.

 

However, so many lives can be hurt by sending that convo around. MM deserves it no doubt in my mind but does everyone else? Not so sure.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks for the encouraging words. To White Flower thanks for understanding what I am going through.

 

As for my husband I have tried. No excuses but I have tried to do things with my husband but he prefers to hang out without me. I have told him many times that we should do things together, I am lonely at home by myself yet he likes to hang out seperately since we have different interests.

 

I found out about 2 1/2 years ago year that my husband was communication to another female so after MM came into my life it was not meant to be an affair but him being there for me started the feelings.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for the encouraging words. To White Flower thanks for understanding what I am going through.

 

As for my husband I have tried. No excuses but I have tried to do things with my husband but he prefers to hang out without me. I have told him many times that we should do things together, I am lonely at home by myself yet he likes to hang out seperately since we have different interests.

 

I found out about 2 1/2 years ago year that my husband was communication to another female so after MM came into my life it was not meant to be an affair but him being there for me started the feelings.

 

When I cheated on my ex, I justifed it the same way that he did not pay attention to me etc. Turns out he was cheating on me also.

 

All I can say is cheating drains your soul and every ounce of spirituality.

 

This is an excuse, get therapy or leave are the only options. The option you chose is cowardly

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with WF.. the guy is an idiot.. he can't even lie with success... :laugh:

 

At first he said it was his sister.. he should have stick with this story.. instead... he changed it for a friend.. duuuuhhhhh!

 

DO NOT.. I repeat, DO NOT call him... or answer his texts or his calls.. DO NOT give him any more power... he knows he can manipulate you.. at least he will try ... but if you don't answer him or call him.. that will prove that you're strong, independant.. and you don't need a poor miserable jerk like him...

 

Get a smarter guy.. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for the encouraging words. To White Flower thanks for understanding what I am going through.

 

As for my husband I have tried. No excuses but I have tried to do things with my husband but he prefers to hang out without me. I have told him many times that we should do things together, I am lonely at home by myself yet he likes to hang out seperately since we have different interests.

 

I found out about 2 1/2 years ago year that my husband was communication to another female so after MM came into my life it was not meant to be an affair but him being there for me started the feelings.

Well then, just one more thing we have in common. My ex had an EA as well, if not PA.

 

It is devastating finding out someone is serial because he spent so much time telling you how special you are and how exciting you are and now you know he uses those lines on everyone he meets. What an a**! But right now he is shaking in his shoes because you can bring his whole world down on him. Don't let him forget that either!

 

You know what? Chances are that his W doesn't even know. You may be the only one in the world who knows about this guy. The question is, what do you want to do about it?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh.. I should add. the same thing happened with my MM from work.. his BB called my place.. he didn't know.. he was home with his family... I listened for a while.. but it was 'boring"... so I hung up.. but when I told him about it.. 'same thing can happen when we're together"... so we are extremely careful.. and he takes it off his case.. :o

Link to post
Share on other sites
I agree with WF.. the guy is an idiot.. he can't even lie with success... :laugh:

 

At first he said it was his sister.. he should have stick with this story.. instead... he changed it for a friend.. duuuuhhhhh!

 

DO NOT.. I repeat, DO NOT call him... or answer his texts or his calls.. DO NOT give him any more power... he knows he can manipulate you.. at least he will try ... but if you don't answer him or call him.. that will prove that you're strong, independant.. and you don't need a poor miserable jerk like him...

 

Get a smarter guy.. ;)

 

She has a guy?! He's called her husband!

Maybe you should tell her to get therapy and or a divorce!

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think there should be such a thing as group divorce :)

 

Tell me, OP, is your H's OW married too? :eek:

That's what I wanted to ask! great minds...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I am sure his wife does not have a clue. He always prided himself on being good at hiding. Well he should be glad he dialed my number and not his home #. I will not reply to him, he realizes that he is no longer in control so he wants to get the control back. Not happening!!!

I have no intentions of sending the recording to the wife, I rather get out with no drama.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I am sure his wife does not have a clue. He always prided himself on being good at hiding. Well he should be glad he dialed my number and not his home #. I will not reply to him, he realizes that he is no longer in control so he wants to get the control back. Not happening!!!

I have no intentions of sending the recording to the wife, I rather get out with no drama.

 

 

YOU GO GIRL!!! good for you... you ARE in control.. not this poor azz...

Link to post
Share on other sites
I am sure his wife does not have a clue. He always prided himself on being good at hiding. Well he should be glad he dialed my number and not his home #. I will not reply to him, he realizes that he is no longer in control so he wants to get the control back. Not happening!!!

I have no intentions of sending the recording to the wife, I rather get out with no drama.

If you ever need to talk sweetie I'm always here.:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

As for my husband this happened over 2 1/2 years ago. I checked his cell phone while looking for a number and saw a text from a female. I confronted him about it, he naturally said they were just friends, he called the female and told her that they can no longer communicate. That was the extent that I know of their relationship. Until MM came into my life I never had any male friends. He was the first male friend I have had. As far as I know my husband is not seeing anyone but it would be easy to conceal since he works nights, weeknds.

Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW - what a way to find out this guy is scum!

 

If you aren't happy at home and all - divorce. Don't have another affair, get a divorce.

Link to post
Share on other sites
WOW - what a way to find out this guy is scum!

 

If you aren't happy at home and all - divorce. Don't have another affair, get a divorce.

I have to agree with Fooled once.

 

I did get a divorce and let me tell you, even though life is tough and money is tight I wake up EVERY DAY and thank God that I don't live with that man anymore! I can breathe, skip breakfast, or go for a drink with my friends at a pub if I want to dammit!

 

There was a time that I wanted to do all those things with my ex but he wasn't interested, just like your H. Trust me, divorcing is better than what you've got going on with either of them right now.

 

Hugs,

WF.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks for all the replies. Didn't go into it looking for an affair, just felt like I needed someone to talk to at the time. MM was there.That was the beginning of the mistake. Though we did not sleep together it was still an innapropriate relationship.

I have spoken to my husband, told him that we need to make changes, he is willing to start doing fun things together. I will give my marriage a chance. Will put all my energy into it and see where it goes. I realize I got into something that I had no business getting into and I will do all I can to make marriage work.

Sometimes we have to go through rough patches to see our faults and I have seen mine. I will never get into another situation like this again....

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for all the replies. Didn't go into it looking for an affair, just felt like I needed someone to talk to at the time. MM was there.That was the beginning of the mistake. Though we did not sleep together it was still an innapropriate relationship.

I have spoken to my husband, told him that we need to make changes, he is willing to start doing fun things together. I will give my marriage a chance. Will put all my energy into it and see where it goes. I realize I got into something that I had no business getting into and I will do all I can to make marriage work.

Sometimes we have to go through rough patches to see our faults and I have seen mine. I will never get into another situation like this again....

Good for you! And if things don't work out for you and your H, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Good wishes,

WF.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...