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My OM`s MESSages to me ...


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O,yes,I know it is not of any good ,but we have the spiritual virtual,but very emotional and passionate at the same time Emotional Affair (ok,am writing all the words fully , I hate misunderstandings) being both married with kids .

Yes.

This is complicating more than one can imagine , specially when both of us are human humans and we wont leave our spouses not to break them and we wont break our kids` lives by having divorced and this way the incomplete families . We want the best for our kids as well as for our spouses .

 

So , you see the total picture of the story now ,

I add again and again that the Affair is Emotional and not Physical,we do not meet each other as we are aware what it may lead to ...

but we are on phones , net and in each others` thoughts .

 

I think , you already have some respect to our feelings , no ?

(as you see we do not cross the lines)

 

 

The relationship being so much emotional and full of love however has its downs as well as ups .

Well, its well known , all lives has this .

Ok .

 

 

BUT

the case is a bit different here ,

My OM (here ,I guess, all understand what these two letters mean)

is sending me MESSages that he is in total love with his wife and kid and he surely chooses them .

Ok,I apprecaite this .

BUT

what the f*ck is he declaring me this for when I DO NOT demand anything from him ,

I am myself married with a kid and am not going to leave them as I wont break the connection of the dad with the kid , neither mine nor his ,I wont break my husband as he has no one except me and he would stay really all alone if I go to any other or at all simply leave him .

BUT

I never declare this to my OM as simply there is NO NEED of this as he knows we are both married and we hold this physical distance between us

to keep our families more or less healthy ..

At the same time he (my OM) is holding me like hell telling me that I am the ONE and that he is in so much love with me that we are gonna unite soon , he is so so committed to me and so on

AND AT THE SAME TIME

he is showing me by all possible possibilities how much he loves women , how much committed he is to all others , how many girlfriends he has and that ..I am one of them while declaring his total unconditional love for his wife and kid ...

 

DOUBLE Standards you will say ?

 

You will be surely right ,

but what the f*ck is it ? what he wants from me ?

 

We are on NC now .

But it is the time to decide to depart or to stay again together on the same level (without any physical contact certainly as we are both married) .

 

 

After all this

DO I DESERVE ALL THIS HE IS MESSAGING ME MAKING THIS MESS ?

DO I DESERVE THIS HUMILIATION OF BEING ONE OF MANY AT THE SAME TIME AS HE IS DECLARING HIS TOTAL COMMITTMENT TO HIS FAMILY (I appreciate this, but there is no need to declare this in front of me at the time we are actually spiritual lovers,and I never demand anything,I myself wont ever leave my own family .... but if we are in love,unconditional love with each other then we have to maintain some love politics so to say to stay in a beautiful relationship that has not to be this loathsome and disgusting as he is making this)

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If the momentum of leaving families and making a new family due to love is not on air

then he is kicking you out telling you " you are not needed any more,baby...enough of fun with you " .

 

Telling you of his love, he is practising his psychological powers how much he may hold you and play some fun as practically you are just virtual lovers,so

holding you he loses nothing , but gains . He gains fun .

 

His ego will be fulfilled knowing that his family is safe as he is showing you his total love for his wife ,

at the same time humiliating you by you being one of his many girlfriends ...

You will be kicked at the moment you stop being fun .

Beware ,

leave him . EVEN RUN . Rather run away , this will save your emotinal state from too much stress in future ... Do not lose your life , do not be a loser .

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Artu ,

thank you for such a quick response ,

we actually have alot of fun together with my OM in virtual spaces ,

on net , on phone , yes, we are together a lot of fun ourselves and so happy I was feeling with him ,

but the simple respect ...the simple respect to me personally and to my feelings I feel I wont ever get ... just the simple respect ....

this is that is killing my any desire to break the NC with him ...

I need nothing , just a simple respect to my feelings ... he has not this for me ...

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If the momentum of leaving families and making a new family due to love is not on air

then he is kicking you out telling you " you are not needed any more,baby...enough of fun with you " .

 

Telling you of his love, he is practising his psychological powers how much he may hold you and play some fun as practically you are just virtual lovers,so

holding you he loses nothing , but gains . He gains fun .

 

His ego will be fulfilled knowing that his family is safe as he is showing you his total love for his wife ,

at the same time humiliating you by you being one of his many girlfriends ...

You will be kicked at the moment you stop being fun .

Beware ,

leave him . EVEN RUN . Rather run away , this will save your emotinal state from too much stress in future ... Do not lose your life , do not be a loser .

 

 

This answer is unique .

 

 

Wtfisit , you should not expect anything positive with the man doing this . When the relationship is virtual and only spiritual with the inner aggreement of both , then both have to maintain it as beautiful as possible not hurting each other .

He is hurting you in such a relationship ,

means= for him it is not same sacred as for you .

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You need to weigh the pluses and minuses .

 

+ :

1. He says he is in love with you . This makes you feel good , as any man / woman loves to hear he / she is loved by the person he / she loves him/herself . It`s true .

 

2. You have fun when together on net or phone , so you yourself feel fine . It`s good to relax after work with him as the fun is making you smile and feel happy . True .

 

- :

1. You take your time from your family who are really yours and give it to this man ,

while he is not yours in real as he is declaring his love for his wife and kid .

 

2. He shows you total disrespect as is showing "you are one of many" , so you are just fun for him .

 

 

You need to decide if you want to have fun while your kid is longing for your attention , your time is lost with someone who disrespects even this kind , the Best Ever Kind of The Relationship the two in love may have .

It is beautiful to have so much spiritual love and understanding to stay together , but caring for families .. you both seem fine .. but he is not behaving the best way towards you however .

 

 

Best of luck in choosing the right direction !

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He obviously doesnt view the relationship the same way you do.

 

As disappointing as that is, let it go. Greive and move on. He has nothing to offer you other than a virtual fantasy - one that he does not share at that. He is playing, your heart is invested. That is a bad place to be.

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1. You take your time from your family who are really yours and give it to this man ,

while he is not yours in real as he is declaring his love for his wife and kid .

 

 

Thank you for your wishes, Adri Ana .

 

I take my time not only from my family , but from all my relatives, friends and work as well , though making a good carreer is so important for me ,

but all my free time am giving to him and he returns all this to me by the way I have told already ,

this kills me and my desire to stay with him is very decreasing .

I have the feeling that he has no real feelings for me ..I am just a convenient fun for him ,as we really have a lot of fun when together , but he has same fun with all others as well the times I am not available by any means of communication we use to communicate with each other ...

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He obviously doesnt view the relationship the same way you do.

 

As disappointing as that is, let it go. Greive and move on. He has nothing to offer you other than a virtual fantasy - one that he does not share at that. He is playing, your heart is invested. That is a bad place to be.

 

 

How else he may view this relationship when we both have our own families ?

 

Surely it is just a beautiful spiritual relationship that we share our fantasies in it ,

and he knows this very well .

 

I cant either give him anything other except my heartfelt love and soulful committment ,

I cant give him my self physically as I have my own family , he has his own .

 

 

BUT the bitter side of this all is

that he is playing while my heart is truly invested . Yes .

 

 

Thank you for your advice . It is priceless .

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Investing one`s heart into the Affair happens without our participation .

You just fall in love and love .

So do not blame your self ever for that what happened with you in this story .

You invested your heart = you loved .

It is always a nice feeling worth to feel than not to feel at all

though gives the pain as well sometimes .

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Investing one`s heart into the Affair happens without our participation .

You just fall in love and love .

So do not blame your self ever for that what happened with you in this story .

You invested your heart = you loved .

It is always a nice feeling worth to feel than not to feel at all

though gives the pain as well sometimes .

 

 

Yes :), I loved truly .

 

No, I never blame my self for all we had with him as it was many times a beautiful time pass , a real fun ,

however my heart was broken several times ,

but again I do not blame even him for this

as the circumstances were such , we were more sensitive being so distant physically both ...So it did hurt more ,

enough to break a heart .

 

But I am grateful for all the moment we share with him ,

as they truly made me laugh and smile wide a lot .

I shall always remember this as my sweetest memory ,

but I feel I need to let it go ...

It`s impossible to live all life in fantasies ..

and I do not know what the next heartbreaking will be alike if I stay with him .. he is less hearty and gentle and sensitive than me ..

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Its one thing to share your fantasies (as per your picture) and to fall in love with the person who shares your fantasies. Its another for that person to play with your heart. That is not cool. And it begs the question, is this person worthy of your heart.

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The relationship where there are not equal Respect , Love and Compassion there for each other is not worth .

 

 

 

You and jj33 used the word " worth(y)" at the same moment .

Look at the time both messages were sent .

 

It may already be used as the sign of the relationship unworthy . Like a sign from the God .

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Whatever you may think to yourself , wtfisit ,

it is vivid, you lose your time . It`s a total timeloss for you as the loss of the best moments you may have with your kid once you give him more time instead of staying on net with your "sweetheart" who has no simple respect for you ;

the loss of your time in making your carreer;

the loss of real friends,relatives,

and even your husband who loves you by his real feelings .

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Whatever you may think to yourself , wtfisit ,

it is vivid, you lose your time . It`s a total timeloss for you as the loss of the best moments you may have with your kid once you give him more time instead of staying on net with your "sweetheart" who has no simple respect for you ;

the loss of your time in making your carreer;

the loss of real friends,relatives,

and even your husband who loves you by his real feelings .

 

This is that is eating me from inside ... that I simply lose my life with the one who has no respect to my feelings , who is playing with my heart , who is in real committed to his family ,

while my husband who truly loves me and I got so much good from him all the years we are together is getting so least from me ,

I have no sex with him (H)as having sex with him wouldbe a betrayal to my One I loved .

I have no attempts to make the emotional bond with him (H) a bit better though he is trying to do things that I love so that I appreciate ..

I have no quality time with him (H) as all my free time I gave to my One I loved by my spiritual total love , while my H always stayed alone and suffered ... I did not notice ...

 

 

It is not his (H`s) fault that I do not have this emotional bond so strong with him ,

I love him by a human love ...he has done all the years we are married really a lot good to me ... however I am not emotionally attached to him ... but he himself is ...

and the One I am emotionally so attached to - is simply declaring me by all his actions that I am one of man for him ..

 

This kills ...

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Its clear you need to quit .

 

You will get more and more pain and at last when being elder you will regret all you did to your own family , to your own life by giving all your self to Him who is not any way appreciating this , but is caring for his own family as he is declaring you .

It`s normal in out-of-marriages relationships ,

and none of them is to be taken seriously .

 

Thas why I am now looking carefully for the one I will marry :lmao:...lol

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Its clear you need to quit .

 

You will get more and more pain and at last when being elder you will regret all you did to your own family , to your own life by giving all your self to Him who is not any way appreciating this , but is caring for his own family as he is declaring you .

It`s normal in out-of-marriages relationships ,

and none of them is to be taken seriously .

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately true .

 

There are always regrets afterwards as you invested all your feelings into someone that does not appreciate

while those who long for your love were outside there waiting for you .

 

You will regret this ..

 

Be back to your husband and your kid . Be happy as you were before you met the One you fell in love ..

This was LOVE you had , Love you loved your dream ... Just look into your teenage diaries :)... he was alike your dream ... but dream is a dream ... cherish it and all memories , but free your soul from pains .

Stay with your family investing in you themselves and go away from the One investing in his own family showing you his back ..

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Unfortunately true .

 

There are always regrets afterwards as you invested all your feelings into someone that does not appreciate

while those who long for your love were outside there waiting for you .

 

You will regret this ..

 

Be back to your husband and your kid . Be happy as you were before you met the One you fell in love ..

This was LOVE you had , Love you loved your dream ... Just look into your teenage diaries :)... he was alike your dream ... but dream is a dream ... cherish it and all memories , but free your soul from pains .

Stay with your family investing in you themselves and go away from the One investing in his own family showing you his back ..

 

 

I agree with Adri Ana .

 

 

I am at the age when I have got some experience of all this myself ,

all felt and experienced myself ......

 

I had some affairs during almost 27 years of my marriage ,

but none of them entered the stage of Physical ......

as I was loyal by nature always ...

even if very much was craving for the OM ....

 

I do not regret I stayed with my husband in the long run ...

We have human love we share with each other withut African or Hawaii Passions , its true ,

but life is never about passions , it is about giving all to your kids as much as you can , as you brought them to this world , you are forever responsible for this fact .

And kids are thankful ...

Husband is thankful ...

as he also did not have anyone who would care for him more than me ...

while my OMen - some divorced,some stayed married and went on being with other women,wome simply stayed with their wives , I wish them all the best .

I have my own best . :)

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Some months ago I watched a movie , an Indian movie made together with the British " Before The Rains" ..

 

 

Two married people , a British man , married + a kid, and an Indian woman , married without a kid , entered a physical affair ... the events are taking place in the movie in the 30-s so in India ..

They had a totally secret love story .

However the woman`s husband got to know she had an OM and hit her .

She ran to her OM ....asked his help ...

The British Gentleman , this OM , gave her a good advice to leave the village forever ...

She almost fainted hearing this ...

She asked him if he loved her ... why he would not be with her ...

He answered he could not go with her as he had a family ...

She asked if he loved her ... looking into his eyes by her so frightened full of tears eyes ...

He answered : " No ".

She caught a pistol there was in the room and killed herself shooting into her chest ... whispering his name still with so much love ...

He hid her body in the blanket and putting heavy stones into this made it down to the bottom of the river ... though he knew it was not the rule Indians were going to another world ... she had to be burnt ... but he did not think of her soul either ...

 

 

She was committed , invested all her heart ..

He was just having fun keeping his family intact .

 

 

Such mistakes are happening still , though that Indian poor woman probably had never been out of her little village and did not know even to read to know and be aware of Affairs-out-of-marriage to know how it is in the Western World .....

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