VictoryisMine Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Tried to post on 'Meet and Greet' but it wouldn't let me. Been lurking here for days, checking it out. Wanna tell me story ask for opinions... but let's see if my post goes thru here Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 got that. I think "meet 'n' greet" is for members who have been here more than 5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
MistyK Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I think "meet 'n' greet" is for members who have been here more than 5 years. I don't think so. Lots of people posted there that have only been here a month or so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 Gotta get ready for work, but basically my story is met him 6 months ago. Didn't know him before that, never seen him before. It started out as .... sex only. Couple months later we are in love. He tells his wife. He moves out for a month(with a friend) then he moves back in (couldn't afford his mortgage and the rent where he was staying) After a few months he files for divorce. He is still at home with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Ditto Misty. Not for just people who have been here 5+ years. I believe it was even started by a relatively new person. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 You have any proof of his 'divorce'? Fact that he's still at home with his wife makes me wonder if he's changed his mind - And he does have that right, to change his mind, realize that he doesn't want to leave his wife and family (do they have kids?) and also, you've ONLY known him for 6 months. He would be kind of loopy to just up and leave all that he knows, his life, for someone he barely knows and the unknown. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 :eek: 6 months. Wow. A lifetime, a solid relationship based on 6 months of secret sex. Impressive. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Again, do you have PROOF that he actually moved out, told his wife about you two? To me it seems he has LIED. Shocker eh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 You have any proof of his 'divorce'? Fact that he's still at home with his wife makes me wonder if he's changed his mind - And he does have that right, to change his mind, realize that he doesn't want to leave his wife and family (do they have kids?) and also, you've ONLY known him for 6 months. He would be kind of loopy to just up and leave all that he knows, his life, for someone he barely knows and the unknown. I called the court house, papers are filed, have been. And of course he has the right to reconcile with his wife, regarding moving back home. Six months IS nothing. I don't really know him, he doesn't really know me. We fell in love with what we so far know about one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Again, do you have PROOF that he actually moved out, told his wife about you two? To me it seems he has LIED. Shocker eh. The only proof i have (He lives in another state) is that the time we spent on the phone in the evenings is i can hear his sister and her kids (he has no kids) in the background. Yes, he told his wife, she called me, got my number off of the cell phone bill. Shocker? Being single my entire dating life, i have seen it all, heard it all, probably done it all. Shocker....lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 :eek: 6 months. Wow. A lifetime, a solid relationship based on 6 months of secret sex. Impressive. Solid relationship? Did i say that? The sex is not secret anymore, hasn't been for 3 months now, i think. Neither is our 'being in love'. and no, there is nothing impressive about any of this. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Solid relationship? Did i say that? The sex is not secret anymore, hasn't been for 3 months now, i think. Neither is our 'being in love'. and no, there is nothing impressive about any of this. Hence the sarcastic icon.. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Do you and he have solid plans to be together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Six months ago he started coming into the place where i work. Two months, didn't really notice him. Well i noticed he was pretty damn good looking, but i was dating and, never thought anything more about him. He leaves a business card on my car door with a little message on the back, 'hi....' I think , let me give him a call. Didn't think he might be married. I might of not called, but maybe i would of. I call, that night, voice mail. Tell him i got the card, message. Give me a ring later. Two days no call, and no showing up at the place i work at (he was coming in everyday for those two months). Feeling a little 'dissed' i call again, voice mail. I say laughingly, 'Either your sorry you gave me your number or your married' Told him it's okay. I wasn't going to call again. Almost immediatly he calls back. Yes, he is married. We talked about an hour. Told him if he ever wants to come by my place, i'll order take-out, watch a movie, give him a massage. Yes, i know what i was doing..... He laughed a little, said nooooo.... Said bye, see you at the (work). I see him at (my) work, we flirt, couple days later he calls me, tells me he would love to take me up on my offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Do you and he have solid plans to be together? We do. But he does live in another state. I know that i will and cannot leave my state to be with him, i am hoping he moves here, someday. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 What a *strange* name you've chosen for yourself. Was this a competition for you that you have decided "victory is mine" or are you an athlete and I am assuming too much? Just curious. Are you sure that his W didn't file and that he is at home trying to smooth things over (you said he hadn't moved out again yet) and telling you whatever he needs to to keep you hanging on? Either way, welcome to LS. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Sarcastic? Have you ever done any self-reflecting? I have experienced you as sarcastic, and that is putting it mildly. Talk about icons, ha, your "location" is "in God's Grace". Savannahruby That's your location too, whether you admit it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 What a *strange* name you've chosen for yourself. Was this a competition for you that you have decided "victory is mine" or are you an athlete and I am assuming too much? Just curious. Are you sure that his W didn't file and that he is at home trying to smooth things over (you said he hadn't moved out again yet) and telling you whatever he needs to to keep you hanging on? Either way, welcome to LS. I knew someone was going to mention that. After i registered that name i thought 'oh crap, that don't sound too good' I picked it out of thought from all my experiences in life, dating, being in love, flings, one night stands... that no matter what they say or do, they can't hurt me, Victory is Mine. W is the one who filed. She wanted to. It took her three weeks to do it. She does not want the divorce. But she wanted to file .... for some .... dignity. I know... I know... He told her if she takes too long he would be the one to file. And Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 I knew someone was going to mention that. After i registered that name i thought 'oh crap, that don't sound too good' I picked it out of thought from all my experiences in life, dating, being in love, flings, one night stands... that no matter what they say or do, they can't hurt me, Victory is Mine. W is the one who filed. She wanted to. It took her three weeks to do it. She does not want the divorce. But she wanted to file .... for some .... dignity. I know... I know... He told her if she takes too long he would be the one to file. And Thanks. Gotcha on the name. I remember feeling that way a long time ago too. LOL He sounds like a bossy one. She filed because he threatened to file? Check the laws in their state for the waiting period. In my state its supposedly 12 months, but I've had childless friends that are contesting things done in two months. You think she's going to withdraw her petition? You've spoken to her. How did that go? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 OP, no comments on the affair, but purely logistics. He's to get a divorce and move to where you are. OK, sounds good. Depending on his financial arrangements with his W, he might be stretched a bit for finances for some time. Is his job mobile? Can he work anywhere? Does he have family where he currently resides? Elderly parents perhaps? OK, we're done with him. On to you. What will you be doing to make this work? How will you bend? I'm not seeing significant signs of what you might be willing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Heartford Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 So you met him 6 months ago when he first came into the place where you work. Then after 2 months he left his business card on your car, and shortly thereafter started a sex-only relationship, but he lives out of state? How does that work? And it came out that you were having sex with him a few months ago, so after a month of seeing him? What did his wife have to say to you when she called? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 He moves out for a month(with a friend) then he moves back in (couldn't afford his mortgage and the rent where he was staying) After a few months he files for divorce. He is still at home with his wife. OP, no comments on the affair, but purely logistics. He's to get a divorce and move to where you are. OK, sounds good. Depending on his financial arrangements with his W, he might be stretched a bit for finances for some time. Is his job mobile? Can he work anywhere? Does he have family where he currently resides? Elderly parents perhaps? Carhill raises a good question and based on the part of your quote that I bolded, I have to ask what is he going to do financially? Sounds like she is a SAHM and he was paying the mortgage AND his rent where he went. He was staying with a friend and couldn't afford the rent his friend was charging him? Based on studies of infidelity and the men that actually leave, his leaving in six months sounds like he was on his way out anyway. But his actions and seeming financial logic, sounds like he plans to just move in with you. Sounds like he feels you are rescuing him. Is that cool with you? Not to mention, you say in the above quote that he filed after a few months of being home, or did he manage to threaten his W into filing in that time period? He's might have to pay alimony as the person that files first usually gets to make the most demands. If he couldn't afford a small rent and his mortgage, this doesn't bode well for him (or you) financially. Have you considered this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Gotcha on the name. I remember feeling that way a long time ago too. LOL He sounds like a bossy one. She filed because he threatened to file? Check the laws in their state for the waiting period. In my state its supposedly 12 months, but I've had childless friends that are contesting things done in two months. You think she's going to withdraw her petition? You've spoken to her. How did that go? When he told me he gave her the option of when she wanted to file for divorce, Yes, yes i did start to get all huffy. He sensed that and immediatly said 'but i told her if she takes too long, i will do it'. I have no idea his tone with her. With me he's very soft spoken. He says divorce should be final in two months. I haven't spoken to her. She left messages, 3 of them in one day. She sounded really shakey, not yelling, but said we (her and i) need to talk. And i did tell him, if she calls me again, i will have the cops at her door. He was with me at this time, spent a week. I don't think she will withdraw the papers. I could be wrong of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 So you met him 6 months ago when he first came into the place where you work. Then after 2 months he left his business card on your car, and shortly thereafter started a sex-only relationship, but he lives out of state? How does that work? And it came out that you were having sex with him a few months ago, so after a month of seeing him? What did his wife have to say to you when she called? January '09 big Hurricane. He is a contractor. Him and many others came to town to help rebuild. He stayed in town for three months. Went home 15 hours away. Comes back and forth now. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 I don't know why everyone finds this so implausible. He sounds like a guy who wanted out of his marriage, and used the affair as a catalyst and excuse. Not all MM have affairs and string OW along forever... Link to post Share on other sites
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