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sensesfail

Hi, I am obviously new here but have read some of the entries and I am hoping to get some advice from people who have walked the path I am walking right now.

 

I am a 32 year old, single guy. I work in a highly competitive field of the drug industry ( the legitimate, legal kind lol). I travel a lot in my line of work and meet a lot of people in the pharm and medical industry--along the way I have had my share of relationships/affairs. I never thought of myself as the "marrying kind". Amongst my friends I am always incharge of the "bachelor party" days before any of my friends take "the plunge". You get it, I am the "a$$".

 

But few months ago, I met THE most beautiful, incredible woman I have ever seen in my life! I know, even typing this I am thinking to myself "what a lo$er!". She is a doctor, married to a doctor. They share a practice. She is way younger than him, but I have to admit he is in good shape.

 

I had to do a presentation at the hospital that they are affiliated with and I invited both of them. The husband could not attend but she did. After the presentation I hastily made my way to talk to her, she was very polite and ONLY talked about the drug my company was trying to convince them to use. That did not deter me and I asked if I could buy her coffee sometime and she said, she did not drink coffee. BUT we exchanged business cards.

 

A week after that a called her and just frankly told her I found her very attractive and her response was "mr. sensesfail, you have no problems with boundaries, do you?" and I said "not when I want something/someone so bad". Since then, we have exchanged occasional texts, phone calls, emails but she refused to go out with me even though she admitted she also finds me attractive!

 

I have never pursued any woman like this. I know this is crazy but sometimes I even think I am in love with her! And the texts and emails that I send her? sometimes it takes her a day or two to respond. Do you think she is playing a game? I have asked her if she likes me, she said "yes", and then I asked her, would you go out with me, she answered "i can't". Why does she not answer "no"?

 

What gives?

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Maybe she figures that you will come to understand that "I can't" means "no".

 

Why are you pursuing a married woman who had no prior interest in you? Gotta a bone to pick with doctors by trying to poach their mates?

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sensesfail
Maybe she figures that you will come to understand that "I can't" means "no".

 

Why are you pursuing a married woman who had no prior interest in you? Gotta a bone to pick with doctors by trying to poach their mates?

 

A marriage certificate has no meaning to me, ma'am. I go for whoever I want. I do not have "a bone to pick with doctors", she could have been a waitress married to a waiter, she would still look incredible!

 

You see, the way she says " I can't" is so full of regret. Life is too short for regret. She should go for what she wants, what would make her happy, dontya think?

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A marriage certificate has no meaning to me, ma'am. I go for whoever I want. I do not have "a bone to pick with doctors", she could have been a waitress married to a waiter, she would still look incredible!

 

You see, the way she says " I can't" is so full of regret. Life is too short for regret. She should go for what she wants, what would make her happy, dontya think?

 

You are in her office because of your job as a pharmaceutical rep. Does your job have any kind of acceptable behavior clauses that prevent you from simply "going after what [you] want"?

 

I know its not your marriage certificate, but you can't just ignore boundaries just because it suits you.

 

What are you looking to hear from posters here? Are you looking for ways to get her to say "yes"? Are you looking for pats on the back for "living in the moment"? Are you trying to decode her messages to you?

 

She's not that into you. Maybe a little intrigued by your take charge manner, but she's not making time to respond to you right away. She might meet with you if you seem persistent enough. But other than that, I think the regret you hear is that she isn't interested in upending her life or marriage just to see what you are like.

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sensesfail
You are in her office because of your job as a pharmaceutical rep. Does your job have any kind of acceptable behavior clauses that prevent you from simply "going after what [you] want"?

 

Sure it does and I know I can get in trouble but I am not worried about it.

 

I know its not your marriage certificate, but you can't just ignore boundaries just because it suits you.
Sure I can, many have. Besides, mates do not stray if you are good enough for them.

 

What are you looking to hear from posters here? Are you looking for ways to get her to say "yes"? Are you looking for pats on the back for "living in the moment"? Are you trying to decode her messages to you?
Yes!

 

She's not that into you. Maybe a little intrigued by your take charge manner, but she's not making time to respond to you right away. She might meet with you if you seem persistent enough. But other than that, I think the regret you hear is that she isn't interested in upending her life or marriage just to see what you are like.
Man, you are right about that, she's not that into me, FOR NOW. I do really think this woman is IT for me. Don't get me wrong, I still don't believe in marriage BUT I really want to give this woman my EVERYTHING, d@mnit, I even know I will be faithful to her! Sounds funny, but I can really see it.
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I think her answer to you first contacting her says all you need to know.

 

She is aware of your boundaries problem and not likely to trust you when you say "she is it".

 

But she's intrigued. That might get you a hug and a kiss, but not much else. Certainly not her leaving her H for a chance with you. At least not IMHO.

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mercifulheavens

Wow, do you sound like my former lover. You could be the same person with exactly the same "you were meant to be mine and I will make it so no matter what" attitude. And so you know, persistence worked, eventually I had the affair. Now we're both heartbroken because I finally had to put a stop to it.

 

Just leave her alone, dude. Seriously. For her sake, if you won't do it for yours.

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fooled once

For heaven's sake -- act your age.

 

She is married and not interested.

 

I hope she lets your company know that you are acting totally unprofessional.

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sensesfail
I think her answer to you first contacting her says all you need to know.

 

She is aware of your boundaries problem and not likely to trust you when you say "she is it".

 

But she's intrigued. That might get you a hug and a kiss, but not much else. Certainly not her leaving her H for a chance with you. At least not IMHO.

 

A kiss and a hug would be awesome!

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I know this is crazy but sometimes I even think I am in love with her! And the texts and emails that I send her? sometimes it takes her a day or two to respond. Do you think she is playing a game? I have asked her if she likes me, she said "yes", and then I asked her, would you go out with me, she answered "i can't". Why does she not answer "no"?

 

What gives?

 

Yeap, that is crazy.

 

She can't go out with you cause she's married.

 

I don't think she's playing games with you. She's just not that interested to reply your emails or texts cause ermmm... she's married.

 

You have a serious problem with boundaries.

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For heaven's sake -- act your age.

 

She is married and not interested.

 

I hope she lets your company know that you are acting totally unprofessional.

 

You're right. And that sense of regret he mentions might be that she regrets ever taking his first phone call.

 

What a sense of entitlement about senses.

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sensesfail
Wow, do you sound like my former lover. You could be the same person with exactly the same "you were meant to be mine and I will make it so no matter what" attitude. And so you know, persistence worked, eventually I had the affair. Now we're both heartbroken because I finally had to put a stop to it.

 

Just leave her alone, dude. Seriously. For her sake, if you won't do it for yours.

 

Sorry it did not turn out well for you and your lover but I think I have finally found the woman I will give my wild ways up for for!

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Sorry it did not turn out well for you and your lover but I think I have finally found the woman I will give my wild ways up for for!

 

I dunno, sense. People rarely ever change their ways for another. And I doubt you will do so for her. I think that she piqued your interest and your sense of conquest and that you will stop at nothing to get her into bed. But after that, I think you will lose interest pretty quickly.

 

Why continue bothering this woman when the chances of you losing interest are so high as a self-described "wild" person?

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whimsical_memory

1. You are acting like a spoiled child.

 

2. You have no sense of right from wrong.

 

3. You do not care for this woman one bit or you would not be trying to come between her and her husband.

 

4. This is just a game to you. "Ohh see the pretty prize, I MUST have it."

 

5. She has told you that she is not interested in you.

 

6. Quit trying to justify your actions. You are wrong. Period.

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sensesfail
For heaven's sake -- act your age.

 

She is married and not interested.

 

I hope she lets your company know that you are acting totally unprofessional.

 

Oh man, you have to go there. Seriously, I thought this site has some people who have gone through what I am going through.

 

I am not harassing this woman, ok? I have told her many times that if she tells me to stop contacting her, I will, but she has not. She said she enjoys talking to me, my texts, my emails!

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Oh gosh, unbelievable. I have met quite a few of your kind in my line of work. Your industry is full of it, actually. You know, she is NOT going to be your last conquest. Give it a rest, you are just "obsessing" about her because she has not fallen prey to you just yet.

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I am not harassing this woman, ok? I have told her many times that if she tells me to stop contacting her, I will, but she has not. She said she enjoys talking to me, my texts, my emails!

 

 

Yep, she is enjoying collecting documentation about your lack of professionalism for your employer to see.

 

:)

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sensesfail
Oh gosh, unbelievable. I have met quite a few of your kind in my line of work. Your industry is full of it, actually. You know, she is NOT going to be your last conquest. Give it a rest, you are just "obsessing" about her because she has not fallen prey to you just yet.

 

My kind? man, sounds really bad. Are you an MD? Nurse? Work in a medical office? I wish it was as simple as "obsessing" about her because she is playing hard to get-it's not that, I feel for this woman, I really do.

 

Are those your lips? D@mn girl, those are incredible, beautiful lips! Too bad I cannot send you a private message! lol, j/k about the private message.

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i can't believe how many ppl been buggin on u bout this when i read so many other posts worse than ur situation. lol.

 

man, u fallen for this girl maybe out of physical attraction. it's hard to just say you in love with this girl when you don't even know her.

 

all i know is that she probably in a dull marriage to begin with if she accepted your number and would txt back and forth with you. So maybe she was looking for some excitement and that's why she allowed you to communicate with her the way you did. it's all a part of flirting and she was probably flattered (who knows, her husband probably never made her feel attractive).

 

but the reality of it is, she sounds like she's wanting to stay in the marriage. that's just my opinion, but who am i to give u any advice when i can't get myself situated!

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sensesfail

it's crazy man, not like I'm stalking' this chick, K? Just thinking a lot about her, you know the kind you can't get out of your mind, like some crazy glue or sumthin'.

 

At least your girl loves you and cares about you, this woman, dude, seriously, I can be with another woman and I am thinking about her! Dude, I am flippin'-I can't even tell my friends about her cuz I'm gonna be the butt jokes, y'know what I mean? it's crazy!

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I do really think this woman is IT for me. Don't get me wrong, I still don't believe in marriage BUT I really want to give this woman my EVERYTHING, d@mnit, I even know I will be faithful to her! Sounds funny, but I can really see it.

 

This is great!

You could start right now... you can't give her everything at present, but at least you can give her something... respect for her wishes, respect for her morals, respect for her relationship. Stay away from her so you will not risk damaging her or putting her in an unconfortable position... and start exercising right now not to be a "bad guy", not to cheat and to be monogamous, so in case she ends up leaving her marriage for her own reasons and the two of you catch up, you will be a much better catch for her! :)

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This is great!

You could start right now... you can't give her everything at present, but at least you can give her something... respect for her wishes, respect for her morals, respect for her relationship. Stay away from her so you will not risk damaging her or putting her in an unconfortable position... and start exercising right now not to be a "bad guy", not to cheat and to be monogamous, so in case she ends up leaving her marriage for her own reasons and the two of you catch up, you will be a much better catch for her! :)

 

sounds like the advice i got from some chick on my post. lol. we are labeled as the OM! (other man). what is it about us wanting something we can't have. all the good ones are taken. damn, i missed my ride a long time ago.

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sounds like the advice i got from some chick on my post. lol. we are labeled as the OM! (other man). what is it about us wanting something we can't have. all the good ones are taken. damn, i missed my ride a long time ago.

 

Well, unless you have "I'll want only what I can't have" issues, it is just a matter of time (and of luck) before you meet someone you want and you *can* have.

If you love them and they love someone else, you might hurt the person you love if you insist on pursuing them!

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Well, unless you have "I'll want only what I can't have" issues, it is just a matter of time (and of luck) before you meet someone you want and you *can* have.

If you love them and they love someone else, you might hurt the person you love if you insist on pursuing them!

 

With my kind of luck... I'd be lucky if I met her on my dying bed. After 10 years of not being with my first love, I still want her. Maybe that's the issue. I can't let her go.

 

But yea, I agree that I can't pursue her... it's not right and it's not fair for anybody.

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it's crazy man, not like I'm stalking' this chick, K? Just thinking a lot about her, you know the kind you can't get out of your mind, like some crazy glue or sumthin'.

 

At least your girl loves you and cares about you, this woman, dude, seriously, I can be with another woman and I am thinking about her! Dude, I am flippin'-I can't even tell my friends about her cuz I'm gonna be the butt jokes, y'know what I mean? it's crazy!

 

you know what i say to that... screw that. who cares what your friends say about it. one day they gonna go through the same deal and we'll see who'll be laughing then. and if you can't have one friend who you tell them jus about anything without them making a joke out of it, then you need some new friends.

 

but yea, i feel ya about going crazy for someone... it's just that more crazier cus you can't have her. but sooner or later, it'll pass, especially if she's not responding the way you want her to.

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