stampdaddy Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I just do... And it's awful.......... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 was it the Mavs? seriously, hope your pop is all right ... XXX, q aw hell ~ the shxt just hit the fan, didn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I just do... And it's awful.......... What do you see, Stamp? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 was it the Mavs? seriously, hope your pop is all right ... XXX, q aw hell ~ the shxt just hit the fan, didn't it? The sh*t has hit the fan, the walls, the ceiling, the BS, the children, the WS, ME, my children, his family, her family, friends, etc................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Oh wow! sorry I asked;). Seriously though, how are you feeling about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Oh wow! sorry I asked;). Seriously though, how are you feeling about that? I have no idea how I am feeling. I don't want to be beat up here by posting. I would to think I could help myself, get over this, or get on with this, I don't know... Just help MYSELF.. IF I can help others, great, but it will be a while before I can be active... I am so heartbroken watching this trainwreck of a person drive herself into every preceivable wall... oh well.... what can I do? stand aside, as you all have suggested... Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 You do what is in your heart AND in your head. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 No. because the two will inevitably conflict. You do what is in your head, but you do it with Compassion and understanding. I have absolutely no idea what it is that you are so distressed about, but if it is about watching somebody self-destruct - sometimes they have to hit rock-bottom on their own, before looking up. All we can do is to be there with the rope and a towel. But the well can be very deep, dark and frightening. I wish you well. *hands-palms-together* Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 No. because the two will inevitably conflict. You do what is in your head, but you do it with Compassion and understanding. I have absolutely no idea what it is that you are so distressed about, but if it is about watching somebody self-destruct - sometimes they have to hit rock-bottom on their own, before looking up. All we can do is to be there with the rope and a towel. But the well can be very deep, dark and frightening. I wish you well. *hands-palms-together* God Bless You too Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 ...I take it that there was a exposure and everyone now knows?? Well , stamp the best thing you can do is not involve yourself in the situation. You need to walk away for your own good. Find someone else, better yet, focus SOLEY on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 You know what I am going to say...Pray & I am still praying with you. Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 (((((((((stampdaddy))))))))) True, huge hugs. I am sorry that things are so ugly right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I just do... And it's awful.......... What's awful? I'd take this as a sign that your healing. Most often it get's worse before it gets better. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 The sentiment seems kind of lame, especially since I don't know what's going on, but hang in there buddy. If I ever get up that way we'll grab a beer or six. Link to post Share on other sites
RinClavin Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Hey Stamp, I haven't replied much to any of your threads but I've read them. Please hold on and take care of yourself. You understand all of the advice that people give you, so now it's just a matter of hanging on and getting to a place where you can implement the good advice. *hug* Link to post Share on other sites
Kamikaze Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 The sh*t has hit the fan, the walls, the ceiling, the BS, the children, the WS, ME, my children, his family, her family, friends, etc................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ I understand SD! The hurt does not go away, however! Plus, the emotions continue to work against us. I quit smoking too and that certainly does not help! Kami Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Hey Stamp, I haven't replied much to any of your threads but I've read them. Please hold on and take care of yourself. You understand all of the advice that people give you, so now it's just a matter of hanging on and getting to a place where you can implement the good advice. *hug* I'm just going to second what RinClavin said. Take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I just do... And it's awful.......... One would hope so. That's a good thing, Stamp. I'm trying to think of a good golf analogy for you. Nothing comes to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Well, all that happened because you couldn't keep it in your pants to be with a someone's wife. Perhaps if you cannot say anything kind, it is sometimes better to say nothing at all. People have mentioned that Moderators have noticed an increase in unkind, thoughtless cruel and unnecessary posts and there have been considerations on maybe closing the forum.....? I hope not. It's really not very difficult to be kind. Even if that kindness is discretion (valorous) and silent in approach. _/l\_ *HpT* Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I feel sorry for people who can't feel sorry for people. Link to post Share on other sites
MizzBlue72 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Tara Maiden said it beautifully. I think that you do need to remove yourself with compassion towards her. You can only control yourself, your feelings and your actions - no one else. Huge hugs to you. I know how strong you have been through this just by reading your posts. You can do this. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Stamp I honestly don't post to your threads often, but wanted to offer this. I have a neighbor that reminds me of your MW. The difference being she actually left her M eventually and married her OM. But she put everyone in her life through pure hell for a year before she decided to leave. Her biological kids don't have much to do with her because of what she did to their step-dad who raised them from when they were toddlers. The son born into the marriage is a minor so he has to deal with her and he let's everyone know that he doesn't want to. The point of what I am saying: its her. It always was her. Sure, you dated a married woman and wanted her to leave, but you have NO IDEA of what she was up to at home and what she was putting them through. Its best that you let this saga play out without contacting her. Take care of you and yours and keep them far away from her and the drama that she has brought into her life. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I agree, stamp posted something bad and everyone is back to feeling sorry for him and acting like he is a victim. Nevermind that he took part in this affair for several years and even coached her through the divorce. Don't you all get it, he actively went after someone else's family and now it's blowing up in his face. If someone plans out a murder, buys the supplies, waits a few months and then carries out the crime then they can not play the victim role later. They still get 1st degree murder charges. Judge a person by their actions not the picture they paint of themselves. lkjh, is it possible that you are only seeing the initial action of Stamp's A with MW? Yes, he did all those things with blinders on and yes he felt guilty and finally took responsibility. At a certain point he told her he cannot be part of an A any longer and walked away. He felt guilty, he felt remorse, he felt real pain. He even told the truth to the betrayed H when asked for it. At what point do you forgive this guy? It would appear that you would say never. We have moved from that part of the story. Stamp's role is done. The movie continues with the remaining characters. Stamp's character has no part in any of their roles at this point. How can you compare murder to an affair? The BH is not dead. He might not see it now, but he will be better off without a W who doesn't love him and who gaslights him. Trust me, I feel sorry for him too. But he's not dead. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 lkjh, is it possible that you are only seeing the initial action of Stamp's A with MW? Yes, he did all those things with blinders on and yes he felt guilty and finally took responsibility. At a certain point he told her he cannot be part of an A any longer and walked away. He felt guilty, he felt remorse, he felt real pain. He even told the truth to the betrayed H when asked for it. At what point do you forgive this guy? It would appear that you would say never. We have moved from that part of the story. Stamp's role is done. The movie continues with the remaining characters. Stamp's character has no part in any of their roles at this point. How can you compare murder to an affair? The BH is not dead. He might not see it now, but he will be better off without a W who doesn't love him and who gaslights him. Trust me, I feel sorry for him too. But he's not dead. I dunno, WF. There is ALOT of truth to lkjh's post. It might be an inconvenient truth, but its still the truth. And its not about forgiveness. Its about the "movie" continuing as you say. That's why I say Stamp should remove himself from this drama. He played his part, and that's why his family is not immune. But now, he's got to stay out of it as much as he is allowed to (BH might come after him, might not). Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Perhaps if you cannot say anything kind, it is sometimes better to say nothing at all. People have mentioned that Moderators have noticed an increase in unkind, thoughtless cruel and unnecessary posts and there have been considerations on maybe closing the forum.....? I hope not. It's really not very difficult to be kind. Even if that kindness is discretion (valorous) and silent in approach. Really? Has a moderator posted what you stated above? I haven't seen it If I have missed that post, can you point me in that direction? If there is no such post, I would hope gossip isn't being spread. As for those that had hard words for Stamp, that is their opinion and their view. They are entitled to it. And as long as it isn't violating any Terms of Service..... Stampdaddy - I am relatively new (been a lurker for months, just recently started posting) I am sorry you are hurting. People can say you deserved it, you brought it on yourself, blah blah blah -- and while they may see that as truth, and it may be true -- you are still hurting and you are taking responsibility for your part. There are plenty of others who set out to purposely date married people and don't take responsibility for their actions. To me, that is reprehensible and they should check out their morals. And they shouldn't wonder when Karma hits them in the rear end. Those are the ones who I have very little sympathy for when they get hurt (and they will get hurt). I hope you find some peace SD. (hug) Link to post Share on other sites
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