lilyr Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 After 2 and half months no contact(We've been together 9 months and broke off over some silly things), I txted him yesterday under the guise of "needing help for ..." n told him I missed him and wanted to try again. He agreed in the beginning and 30 minutes later told me he was having some personal problems and told me to leave him alone. He txted back later saying he was "having a tough time at the moment". Does this means he is done with me? Or do you think he will change his mind and come back to me? Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 After 2 and half months no contact(We've been together 9 months and broke off over some silly things), I txted him yesterday under the guise of "needing help for ..." n told him I missed him and wanted to try again. He agreed in the beginning and 30 minutes later told me he was having some personal problems and told me to leave him alone. He txted back later saying he was "having a tough time at the moment". Does this means he is done with me? Or do you think he will change his mind and come back to me? Either way, it's a non-starter. Even if you do get back together, he's clearly ambivalent (at best) and it won't be long before he finds some other "silly things" to end it over. You contacted him. He did not contact you. He told you to back off. He tried to soften the blow by clothing it in "going through a difficult time" but his response is sstill at best lukewarm. It's going nowhere. He may still have unfinished business with you but it's closure he's looking for, not a new beginning. Spare yourself the heartache by leaving it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 After 2 and half months no contact(We've been together 9 months and broke off over some silly things), I txted him yesterday under the guise of "needing help for ..." n told him I missed him and wanted to try again. He agreed in the beginning and 30 minutes later told me he was having some personal problems and told me to leave him alone. He txted back later saying he was "having a tough time at the moment". Does this means he is done with me? Or do you think he will change his mind and come back to me? Dump him before he dump you.. this is too late though.. he already did... but from now.. just leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 After 2 and half months no contact(We've been together 9 months and broke off over some silly things), I txted him yesterday under the guise of "needing help for ..." n told him I missed him and wanted to try again. He agreed in the beginning and 30 minutes later told me he was having some personal problems and told me to leave him alone. He txted back later saying he was "having a tough time at the moment". Does this means he is done with me? Or do you think he will change his mind and come back to me? He told you to leave him alone that he had some issues(clearly). So what's your problem, you didn't understand the leave me alone or you think you can change his mind? Careful it doesn't take much to be called a stalker. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 What were the "silly things"?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 Thanks for your answer, Owoman! I just don't understand why he's changed so quickly. He has turned...very cold...since we broke up. I mean we were having passionate phone conversation the day before we broke up... ??????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 Dump him before he dump you.. this is too late though.. he already did... but from now.. just leave him alone. Yes I was the one got dumped and he hold me he was having a tough time... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 He told you to leave him alone that he had some issues(clearly). So what's your problem, you didn't understand the leave me alone or you think you can change his mind? Careful it doesn't take much to be called a stalker. I hope what he said (having some issues) was true not just let me down gentely. I wish I could change his mind but what's done is done..One thing is for sure that I definitely don't want to be called a stalker. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 ]Thanks for your answer' date=' Owoman! I just don't understand why he's changed so quickly[/b']. He has turned...very cold...since we broke up. I mean we were having passionate phone conversation the day before we broke up... ??????? He didn't change, he has always been a liar and deceitful. What's to understand, H-E I-S A L-I-A-R. Fake, phony, not real. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 What were the "silly things"?? the usual...broken and changing dates last minutes...Not spending enough time with me... ............. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 One thing is for sure that I definitely don't want to be called a stalker. Good. So then you need to stop contacting him....MOVE ON... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 Good. So then you need to stop contacting him....MOVE ON... I sent him one final text told him 'when things get better if he still want to catch up or something he can still contact me'. I miss him terribly but I won't txt him again. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I sent him one final text told him 'when things get better if he still want to catch up or something he can still contact me'. I miss him terribly but I won't txt him again. So that means that you won't be blocking your email or changing numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 And NC means erasing your email, changing your number, not hanging out at the same spots, dating SINGLE men from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 So that means that you won't be blocking your email or changing numbers. Why I want to do that? In fact I want him back( I know it might be impossible). I REALLY REALLY just want to know what he said was just letting me down gently and 100% done with me or he meant something else. Do you think I should ask him directly? If that's case I won't have to stress about it anymore! Do you think I should ask him?? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Why I want to do that? In fact I want him back( I know it might be impossible). I REALLY REALLY just want to know what he said was just letting me down gently and 100% done with me or he meant something else. Do you think I should ask him directly? If that's case I won't have to stress about it anymore! Do you think I should ask him?? You don't get it. He said leave him alone. Even the resident OW(no offense intended)told you to move on. What you do you need, a visit from his wife and a few of her friends making your life a living hell? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Many OW dont realize that, I've seen it in my neighborhood where women have beat another one for messing with "her man" and trust no one felt sorry for her under the circumstances. Why are you chasing a man that doesnt want to truly be with you??? and a man who's already attached to another woman at that! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Why I want to do that? In fact I want him back( I know it might be impossible). I REALLY REALLY just want to know what he said was just letting me down gently and 100% done with me or he meant something else. Do you think I should ask him directly? If that's case I won't have to stress about it anymore! Do you think I should ask him?? He said "leave [me] alone". Why are you phishing for someone to tell you to contact him? Leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Why I want to do that? In fact I want him back( I know it might be impossible). I REALLY REALLY just want to know what he said was just letting me down gently and 100% done with me or he meant something else. Do you think I should ask him directly? If that's case I won't have to stress about it anymore! Ha ha... Do you really think that you will be relieved of your stress, no matter what his answer is? Whatever his answer, you will just stress over it more. You will relieve your stress by moving on and learning to live without him. That's what he's decided to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 He said "leave [me] alone". Why are you phishing for someone to tell you to contact him? Leave him alone. Well I contacted him again. I asked him was he totally 100% done with me. he answered he couldn't its him not me. That's it. End of the story. No more!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyr Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 I was driving home... I didn't realize I was crying until I couldn't see the road clearly. I guess the tears was a relief that finally I don't have to stress over him and the whole experience ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Thanks for your answer, Owoman! I just don't understand why he's changed so quickly. He has turned...very cold...since we broke up. I mean we were having passionate phone conversation the day before we broke up... ??????? Lily, people rewrite relationship history all the time. He probably rewrote his M in his mind when he was with you; he's rewriting the A in his mind (and, likely, to his W) now so that he can put distance between himself and the A, in order to make peace with his decision to stay with his W. For whatever reason, he made that call and he's doing what it takes to make that work. That might involve painting you as the bad guy, making out that it was "nothing" and that it didn't matter to him, and dwelling on bad things about you and forgetting the good. He's likely to do whatever it takes. Don't take it personally. In that respect he's correct - this is about him (and his M) and not about you. (hugs) It's better, in the long run, to be blown off now than to invest a great deal of time, effort and emotion in something that hasn't his buy-in. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 IT'S NOT ABOUT MAKING LILYR THE BAD GUY. It's about him doing right by his wife. if he wants to recommit to the marriage commiting to the marriage, and if he wants to make it work, he will stop messing with the OW. Lily you make you a bad woman, you may be a homewrecker but loving a man who's already married, then what did you expect? Link to post Share on other sites
samprez Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Funny enough, your story is good enough reason to never break NC. You are back on the rollercoaster. For what? To hell with the OP. Move on. I write long emails to MW that I never send. I get my frustration out, re-read them and move on and delete. Repeat cycle. I know I lose if I break NC at all. Link to post Share on other sites
sprinkles00 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 ^ I do the same with emails. I write out all my feelings and frustrations, then delete the emails. It probably seems pointless on the surface, but it really helps to let it all out somewhere instead of keeping jumbled, confused thoughts in your head. Link to post Share on other sites
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