Aquarius Rising Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 This is my 9th day of no contact ..... I received an email from MM yesterday and HAVE NOT replied............ but a minute ago I almost folded. I found myself looking at some sports photo's of him available thru a public website and nearly cracked. I typed that email and everything .... and just as I was about to press send ..... I pressed delete instead .... I don't know how I did it..... still shaking..... Someone ..... anyone ..... just a couple of lines to slap me back into reality.... Please! AR Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Slap! stick to the no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aquarius Rising Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 Slap! stick to the no contact. Hey thanks DL ..... I did get your reply a while ago .... but just had to get off the laptop and stay off it as a precaution. It really does come like a wave .... I figured out ..... You can be really focused .... analytical .... logical .... rational .... on track.... and then straight out of left field THE MONSTER takes over and you just think ..... I got to just let the OM know that I'm still thinking of him.... BULL SH&T !!!!! No, I don't .... I was second best .... for long enough .... he emailed me because he just knows I've NEVER let him down before ....... I have ALWAYS responded ..... but not this time..... It's kind of like learning to surf the waves I guess .... just gotta hold on and go with it .... but don't let go of the board (which represents the goal of getting clean) ..... yeah .... just like an addict has to get clean .... gotta go thru the withdrawals. Probably just rambling ..... but it does HELP to offload this stuff here .... otherwise it just keeps swirling around inside of you and that can get pretty tiring. Thanks for being here LS community. I've just been watching Revolutionary Road and got up to the part where he just slept with the office assistanct and then went home to his wife and kids..... I stopped it there! Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Aquarius, very good, very strong, very wise! Good on ya!! Keep at it and if necessary, chop your fingers off at the knuckles. Radical, but it works! If you'd rather not do this, then know that your will-power is obviously strong enough for you to avoid such drastic measures. Can you not block his e-mails coming in? I can.... I have a programme device that means unwanted e-mails get diverted to 'spam'.... And I NEVER check spam...... Link to post Share on other sites
LavendarGirl Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hey Aquarius, good job hitting that delete button. Just keep working that NC one day at a time, adding up the days, 'till you have 30 days... 60 days... and more on your count. You know you can do it!! Good for you, showing that man that you are no longer willing to be the Runner Up Girl! Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Nice job, Aquarius!! You are obviously stronger than you think you are. If you had sent it, it would just be asking for more abuse and neglect. "Thank you Sir, may I have another?" Yeesh, who needs it??!? From now on - YOUR way. On YOUR terms. Period. You Go Girl!! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 AR, if you want to go NC with him, why haven't you blocked his email? Block his email, block him from your cell, same for IM sessions, etc... NC should go TWO WAYS...you need to block contact FROM him as well as not send anything to him. That's why you're struggling so hard...you're only doing one half of it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Block his email address this way you DON'T know if he's contacted you or not and also, you won't get the urge to read what he's said, let alone hit reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hey! Isn't that what I just said?!?!?! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 It's deja vu all over again- !! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Nawww....when I'm posting, it's deja MOO...feels like it's the same BS everytime! (and the beauty of that pun is that you can use BS however you feel is appropriate!) Link to post Share on other sites
Centuris Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Is he obsessive? Does he have other ways to find you? Do you need to take additional precautions? What do you do in your free time, do you need more distractions to keep your mind away from whether he's trying to contact you? Do you need to change your daily habits to lessen your chance of him running into you? Also, is he stuck on you or might he quickly fish up someone else to bother? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aquarius Rising Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 Great advice from everyone ..... and I appreciate the support BIG TIME .... it IS going to be one day at a time ...... and I WILL figure out how to block his email. I don't think he is obsessive .... but I don't really know ..... I think he's incredibly selfish (which he admits to) and likes to have control ... (passive/aggressive personality) .... so with me taking control this time and being the one that CHOSE to end contact ... he would be pretty raw about it all.... BUT ..... It's time to stop caring ......... I did that for long enough ........ and it got me no-where! ........ absolutely NO-WHERE!!! If anything, what I have gained is a better sense of my self worth .... albeit the HARD way ....... but it's not until you get to that place where you know that you're being completely taken advantage of because of your vulnerabilities that the energy (anger, resentment) to CHANGE that situation begins to surface. There are countless lines that are re-playing through my head everyday .... and they're all selfish themes, like:- 1. "If I was flying interstate for business and it's a Sunday night and I have 5 business shirts in the wash basket and another 20 hanging in the wardrobe ... what do you do?" I think this question was intended to see what type of a housemaid I would be for him ....... F*&K that! 2. "I like my lifestyle..... the way it is..... but I want to keep this (meaning 'us') on ice in case this doesn't work out (meaning his return to his home country)" 3. "I'm more in love with you than I am my wife" I could go on ........ but I'm not gonna bore the pants off you guys ..... I reckon you can get the picture here. Sorry, just doing a little healthy 'venting' I guess :-) Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 There are countless lines that are re-playing through my head everyday .... and they're all selfish themes, like:- 1. "If I was flying interstate for business and it's a Sunday night and I have 5 business shirts in the wash basket and another 20 hanging in the wardrobe ... what do you do?" I think this question was intended to see what type of a housemaid I would be for him ....... F*&K that! 2. "I like my lifestyle..... the way it is..... but I want to keep this (meaning 'us') on ice in case this doesn't work out (meaning his return to his home country)" 3. "I'm more in love with you than I am my wife" I could go on ........ but I'm not gonna bore the pants off you guys ..... I reckon you can get the picture here. Sorry, just doing a little healthy 'venting' I guess :-) Sounds like you tried romance with a wealthy, married guy. Looking at your own thought process and actions, could you have done anything different? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aquarius Rising Posted January 23, 2009 Author Share Posted January 23, 2009 Sounds like you tried romance with a wealthy' date=' married guy. Looking at your own thought process and actions, could you have done anything different?[/quote'] I don't know how wealthy he is ....... but yes he is definitely in the HIGH income earning bracket ..... though we never really discussed our financial positions. His house if for sale at $1.8M if that's any indication. I had no idea about his financial position when I met him .... and to be honest it wasn't important then and isn't now. Not sure what you mean by your question .... could I have done anything different? Happy to respond but not sure what you're suggesting etc. AR :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 So, me being the "action oriented" advice giver that I am... ...have you taken steps to BLOCK him from contacting you in a personal manner??? You've had the advice...now it's time for you to implement. Where are you at on making it happen? Link to post Share on other sites
LavendarGirl Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 1. "If I was flying interstate for business and it's a Sunday night and I have 5 business shirts in the wash basket and another 20 hanging in the wardrobe ... what do you do?" I think MY answer would be to pour myself a glass of wine and show him the laundry detergent. He could wash his OWN shirts if he wanted to. Were you being interviewed, or what...? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts