peacebyinches Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 A couple of years ago I got involved with a married woman. I remember him calling her and him pouring his heart out to her while she was naked and sweaty laying next to me. It lasted 9 months. She got a divorce. I fell in love with her. Then eventually it ended how it started but this time I was the hurt one. Kharma is a bitch. Eventually me and the husband had a talk. Se was playing us both the whole time we came to find out. The guilt I had from this after finding out how nice of a guy this was was unbearable for a long time. She was beautiful (on the outside) and a natural born heart breaker. I say this as a warning. When dealing with a committed person odds are you will lose them how you found them. I will never do that again. ok. Drunk post 10 for the night is posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Myusername Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Peace Thank you for being honest and sharing your story. Affairs suck, being the OW sucks, being the OM sucks. In my experiences!!! I have just been thrown under the bus myself in some ways. For me it did not pay to have the affair in the long run. The guilt, confusion and lies, betrayel of his wife, his lies to her, bothered me more than anything. To tell me he was thinking about me when he was "with" her...that's not a compliment. I alway felt horrible to his wife, even though they had separated a few times before, and again now. But still I think he never told her about his affair and she is probably a decent woman. He never spoke badly of her, just he was not in love and they had major issues for many years. Anyway, I am sorry you have been hurt, and I hope you heal. Sometimes I feels we get our punishment for these acts, I do feel that. And I have been punished by mine because once he was separated, I was still not the priority or focus. He is too broken hearted about splitting a family and i am the last thing on his mind. Affairs suck, plain and simple. They hurt very many people and many lies are told. I wish you happiness in the future. I would love five minutes to talk with his wife but would never want to hurt her, just warn her about HIM, but I would not do that. I am walking away, slowly. MyUser Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Affairs aren't a good idea, because you're dealing with a married person whose primary focus is on getting her own needs met - not your needs. And usually that married person gets their own needs met through lies and deception. They lie and deceive everyone - their spouses, their affair partners, their children, family, friends, everyone - while they try to hide their affair. There are exceptions, of course, but not so many that it's worth placing all your bets on the destruction of someone else's marriage and the sincerity of someone who lies and deceives everyone in their lives. You're lucky that you only wasted 9 months of your life on her. Some people stay in affairs for years. Link to post Share on other sites
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