How do I forget him??

[ladydenise]

I hope someone can help me with this...or give me some good advice..I know I'm in the right place.

 

I am a MW and was having an affair with a single guy. My long story short: I found out that he was seeking ANOTHER MW behind my back. From that day on, I have been NC with him. It broke my heart (probably what I deserve) and I have cried several times. A broken heart still hurts, even if I caused the pain myself.

 

He has texted me 4 times and I have not answered. He has not called me at all.

 

The problem is I still think of him every day...it's so hard to forget him.

 

I believe I did the right thing with NC. I can take alot of things and perhaps the affair was over anyway (because he was acting more like a friend), but I can't take anyone going behind my back.

 

BTW, he does know that I know he was looking for another married lady because he chatted with my married friend and asked her out. She told him that she was going to tell me and that it wasn't cool to "go behind my back".

 

But how do you stop thinking of someone? How to get past this? Did I do the right thing with NC after I found that out?

 

Thank you.

[lkjh]

Just wow! Why don't you divorce your H and how low are your friends? You all cheat on your H's and then gossip about it. This is just bad on so many levels. If you really can't forget him then why don't you tell your H so he can find a better wife. One worth loving.

[Reggie]

I hope someone can help me with this...or give me some good advice..I know I'm in the right place.

 

I am a MW and was having an affair with a single guy. My long story short: I found out that he was seeking ANOTHER MW behind my back. From that day on, I have been NC with him. It broke my heart (probably what I deserve) and I have cried several times. A broken heart still hurts, even if I caused the pain myself.

 

He has texted me 4 times and I have not answered. He has not called me at all.

 

The problem is I still think of him every day...it's so hard to forget him.

 

I believe I did the right thing with NC. I can take alot of things and perhaps the affair was over anyway (because he was acting more like a friend), but I can't take anyone going behind my back.

 

BTW, he does know that I know he was looking for another married lady because he chatted with my married friend and asked her out. She told him that she was going to tell me and that it wasn't cool to "go behind my back".

 

But how do you stop thinking of someone? How to get past this? Did I do the right thing with NC after I found that out?

 

Thank you.

 

I am so sorry . I cannot believe he would go behind your back. I know you would never do something like that to another.

I would call him and explain that you feel going behind another's back is unacceptable. Once he realizes this, I am sure you two can get back together. I'm sure it was just an oversight on his part and he was not aware of your boundaries.

[bentnotbroken]

Well how does it feel to have done to you what you did to your H. The difference you have the opportunity to grieve and move on, your H doesn't. He isn't allowed I guess.

[NoIDidn't]

C'mon, guys. She's serious. She wants to know how she can forget him.

 

I wish I had a good, doable, simple answer, but I don't.

 

NC is the best way to go. The next thing is to pay more attention to your marriage instead of your affair partner (AP).

 

Or you can continue wondering "what if" concerning what you heard to found out about him seeking another MW. It seems that he's only messing around with you and other MWs for the free, no strings attached sex. But you are trying to tie down a single guy, and you yourself aren't even single.

 

Maybe he saw the unfairness in that proposition and decided he too, can have and handle more than one R at a time.

[jwi71]

It is not easy to forget. There is no getting around that.

 

What I would like to know is why you feel this anxiety when you KNOW he is a cheater? You have rock solid PROOF of how he will treat you, yet you still pine for him?

 

And maybe that will help - this single guy not only enjoys bedding you, but your friends as well. He has zero respect and no boundaries.

 

I think that would be enough.

 

Like previous posters, the irony is almost laughable.

[ladydenise]

Yup, you are all right and after I wrote my post, I thought to myself "how stupid do I sound?". But posting it and having people respond really wakes you up.

 

I'm glad I did the NC thing and I'm sticking to it. I know I will never be this stupid again.