smile711 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 So, I haven't posted in a while...just hanging out and getting my life in order. I have been 87 days NC with xMM...though he has been asking about me! My situation is this-I have met a man (NOT married and NOT 20 years older than me and NOT addicted to drugs or alcohol!) and we have been seeing each other casually, meeting up with groups of friends and having dinner dates for a few weeks. I actually told him about the situation with the MM because I wanted him to know and I wanted to give him the chance to get away if he was really disgusted by it! He took it well, even helped me laugh at myself for some of the silly things I did. I am in a place I didn't think I would be-pretty happy! The trouble is, stupid MM creeps into my mind occasionally! Is this normal or am I not moving on fast enough? Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Good for you! :bunny: I find that whenever I get a new BF, sometimes thoughts/feelings of the former one will get stirred up. As long as you're letting go of him, and it's not causing trouble in your new one, then just consider it a sign that you're healing and moving forward. Don't get too hung up on how quickly/slowly the process goes. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 1) Glad to see you moving on. 2) As a man, it would be very weird to hear that from a date. It would be weird to hear it from a lover. I think maybe you brought it up too soon with him. My opinion. 3) Yeah...normal to have those thoughts. Everyone misses the EX for a while...then he/she fades away and becomes a memory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile711 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 I agree that usually it would be too soon to bring that stuff up, but this new guy ended a relationship about 6 months ago and some really crappy things went on...he decided to confide in me about things he had done that he wasn't proud of and I shared my experience. I wasn't bitter or defensive, just matter-of-fact, and I didn't get into the gory details...just the basic, necessary facts. Link to post Share on other sites
Agent_99 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I have 49 days since my affair ended. We don't have NC because we work together and go to the same classes. But I too have met someone pretty wonderful that I am dating. MW and I still say hi, but really that is it. She still trys to draw me back, but I just plain don't want to. To much has happened and my boundaries are now firm with her. But I still do think of her from time to time. I miss certain things we shared. I would even if it was a normal relationship that ended. I went through the same thing when I left my exH, even though I left him. I still grieved for and missed some things about our relationship. I too have told my new person about my affair. I wanted to be honest. We didn't get into all the details as we aren't at a point where that is necassary, but like you, I wanted to give her a chance to run the other way. ~99 Link to post Share on other sites
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