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What a complicated mess!


quirkyalonegrl

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quirkyalonegrl

I needed to vent so,I decided this was the only place I could do it. Ok,so here`s my story...

 

I met S five years ago. Back then,I believe that we experienced "love at first sight". Since meeting,S asked me for my number and we went on about three dates. After the third date,he told me he was actually engaged to someone else. As PO`d as I was,I didn`t want to get angry with S. I felt we had a special connection.:love:

 

Five years on,S has two sons with his g/friend,C. Although S & C have been engaged for around seven years,they haven`t discussed marriage...yet. As guilty and horrible as I feel,I guess you could say I am the "other woman". From the very beginning of this,I have explained to S that I didn`t want to get between him & C. No matter how hard I`ve tried to fight this,we`ve still ended up kissing,many times.:confused:

 

Thank god...I don`t want it to get any more complicated. Recently,I was invited to go on holiday with both S & C. To begin with,I agreed but after careful thought - I thought it best to get some time apart from S. The thing is...it`s not just lust. Me & S are like best friends. I just wish I didn`t miss him so much. He`s now on holiday with her and my gut is all twisted up in knots. It`s like I don`t feel whole without him. Silly really.:eek:

 

I know he`s a dad to two gorgeous little boys,I would never ask him to choose between C & me. That just isn`t fair. Besides,I`m only 26 - I`ve still got the rest of my life to meet someone special. Although,I kinda wish I had met S sooner. In my gut,I feel that S is The One. Oh well,even if it means waiting for him I would.:love:

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So how long has this affair gone on?

 

And...my first little bit of advice...if you want something to change...start by changing something.

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This guy isn't leaving his wife (commonlaw) and mother of his children. He HAS a life created with another woman, his spouse. You can wait all you want, but you'll waste YOUR life waiting for a man who will just keep you as the OW for as long as you want. I hope someday soon you realize stolen moments isn't enough and you end it.

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quirkyalonegrl

You`re probably right. I can`t wait around for something to happen,when it probably won`t anyway. Oh well,I do need to move on from this stupid deluded fantasy...

 

And no - an engaged man with two kids is just not what I want anyways. To me that is just emotional baggage. I think I will go back to hating all men or just become a lesbian. Doesn`t bother me,I guess I`m not that really into S anyways. At least we can just be friends.

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No, you can't be friends with him, don't fool yourself on that one. All that will do is prevent you from moving on. You care about this guy, have feelings for him. NO way can you be "just" friends.

 

Tell him goodbye, and cut him OUT of your life.

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Don't hate all men. Just stay away from engaged, married and men who are in relationships. If a man tries to pursue you and he's already taken, THAT is a big red flag which should be enough to make you RUN because YOU deserve better and more.

 

Obviously you haven't met the right (Single)guy yet..

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