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A Fresh Start


xxxheartbrokenxxx

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xxxheartbrokenxxx

Some background info for those of you are unaware of my situation:

 

Im 26 & got involved with a MM of 48, he was a roommate for over a year as he was working away from home & needed a place to stay during weekdays in this area. He moved out of the house at the end of June this year because W&K moved up here to be with him which broke my heart. It was mainly an EA for most of the year then when he gave a months notice to our landlord in May things got physical, we did everything apart from penetration.

 

Since he moved out Ive only heard from him twice even though he did say he would keep in regular contact with me, didnt love W anymore (although did say he didnt love me either) & was only staying for the K & would *possibly* consider leaving but that he didnt know what the future held. First visit from him was to give me the keys back & promised he would call then didnt. He then called out of the blue 5 weeks later & came round to the house & tried to have sex with me - as much as I wanted to I still didnt. The liason was on 25th July & thats the last I saw/heard of him after he promised he would call 'very soon'.

 

Well enough is enough. I've decided to move away from this area & no going back now - my boss & I came to a mutual agreement today that I need to move on so I need to find a room & job in the new city Im moving to asap. My last day at work will be 31st October.

 

I could not go on like this much longer. The situation with MM has put me on a downward spiral & taken everything down with it. My job has been suffering for months. I feel low all the time. It has got to the point where Im scared to leave the house here in case I see him. I cant bear it knowing he & his fam live in the same town. Its turned into a phobia & Ive been the most depressed Ive ever been in my life.

 

I am getting very angry with him as well, after a good chat with a friend recently I realize he really did groom me in a very predatory way (just like Lakeside & Pelican P have said before) & willingly caused me severe pain. He told constant lies & was very vague about things. All just to try & dip his wick?! Its really hard to try to make yourself fall out of love with someone though, the thought of him still really turns me on so I need to stop, dont know how though.

 

Well Owl you were right, I need to get mad then hopefully it will eventually make me detest him!

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Way to go, HB! In the movie version of your life, our daring young heroine would pack up her bags and step bravely into her future. Surely a beatiful new world awaits you.

 

I'm imagining something like this for your themesong. Clicks to YouTube.

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