taintedlove Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I started working at a new workplace a few months ago and I met this 30 year old man who I was immediately attracted to. When we finally got to talk each other, we really clicked and I started to like him more and more. It was great that I found waking up to go to work that much easier but then a few weeks later, I found out he was married for already 3 years and he also has a few months old daughter. I didn't know he was married and I feel horrible that I have feelings towards a married man with a kid. However, he is always making eye contact with me, trying to talk to me whenever possible and he "accidentally" touches my arm or hand. Also, he always asks if i need a lift home even though he doesn't live that close to me. What confuses me is that these few days, he keeps talking about a really attractive female employee that he supervises with the other male coworker and they keep staring at "hot chicks" when they come in our workplace. Lately, he talks about his wife and kid which he never used to do. I know he's married and I shouldn't care but I'm really attracted to him. If he made a move on me, I would definitely not reject his advances. He is usually really nice to me and tries to talk to me whenever I have a break but lately, he seems to be trying to get onto every attractive girl he sees. His flirting and signals just do not make sense with his sudden change of behaviour. Is he just feeding his ego or does he actually want to start an affair? Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I started working at a new workplace a few months ago and I met this 30 year old man who I was immediately attracted to. When we finally got to talk each other, we really clicked and I started to like him more and more. It was great that I found waking up to go to work that much easier but then a few weeks later, I found out he was married for already 3 years and he also has a few months old daughter. I didn't know he was married and I feel horrible that I have feelings towards a married man with a kid. However, he is always making eye contact with me, trying to talk to me whenever possible and he "accidentally" touches my arm or hand. Also, he always asks if i need a lift home even though he doesn't live that close to me. What confuses me is that these few days, he keeps talking about a really attractive female employee that he supervises with the other male coworker and they keep staring at "hot chicks" when they come in our workplace. Lately, he talks about his wife and kid which he never used to do. I know he's married and I shouldn't care but I'm really attracted to him. If he made a move on me, I would definitely not reject his advances. He is usually really nice to me and tries to talk to me whenever I have a break but lately, he seems to be trying to get onto every attractive girl he sees. His flirting and signals just do not make sense with his sudden change of behaviour. Is he just feeding his ego or does he actually want to start an affair? It sounds to me like hes looking for an Ego feed. The fact that hes making it obvious by staring at other woman as they come into the office by defintion I'd have to say hes a PLAYER. Steer clear honey, you will be much better off. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I didn't know he was married and I feel horrible that I have feelings towards a married man with a kid. I know he's married and I shouldn't care but I'm really attracted to him. If he made a move on me, I would definitely not reject his advances. Okay, so which of these two IS it ? I'd be less concerned with why he is doing what he's doing and indulge in a little introspection and SELF examination............. You wouldn't reject the advances of a married man ? What does that say about you then ? Time to decide where your boundaries are. That said - I agree with Ap, the guy's trouble with a capital T and you'd be best served to steer well clear of him even if he was single. Oh, and this guy is your SUPERVISOR.........sheesh, what a can of worms that would open. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Okay, so which of these two IS it ? I'd be less concerned with why he is doing what he's doing and indulge in a little introspection and SELF examination............. You wouldn't reject the advances of a married man ? What does that say about you then ? Time to decide where your boundaries are. That said - I agree with Ap, the guy's trouble with a capital T and you'd be best served to steer well clear of him even if he was single. So true. If you will go for a man you know has a wife and child, what does that say about your character? What type of person are you really that you don't care about this man's family? Put yourself in his wife's shoes. You are at home trusting your husband while taking care of your child and some woman with low/no morals is thinking about walking right into your marriage and turning your life upside down. How would you handle that? Would you enjoy the pain, confusion, and your trust being ripped from you? Yes, he is a prick and flirting, but just because he is being an @$$ doesn't mean you should aid him in his attempt to become a bigger butt hole than he already is. Your actions have more consequences than you getting your rocks off by a man showing you some attention, it could hurt a family with a child. Think about how you want to be perceived. As gullible, selfish and the side piece or as an strong, self reliant, woman of good character. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 You're feeding his ego. His wife just recently had a baby so I'm sure alot of her focus in on their newborn and he's missing out on some attention. DO NOT have an affair with him. You know it's wrong and he's married, has a baby - So what if you're attracted to him? Just don't let that get out of hand and allow yourself to fall for him, let alone put yourself IN that situation where you won't say no. Don't think in the heat of the moment, think long term. Think about the gossip factor at work - Do you want to be known as the woman who had an affair with her boss who's married and has a baby? It can and WILL ruin your reputation. Not only on a personal level but respect level as a worker. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 His flirting and signals just do not make sense with his sudden change of behaviour. Is he just feeding his ego or does he actually want to start an affair? It's a bad sign when you simply fall for the first guy who gives you attention. I would say your issue lies directly in your self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
astra77 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Is he just feeding his ego or does he actually want to start an affair? BOTH.................. THEY GO HAND IN HAND.......... DONT GET INVOLVED About 7 months ago I too started a new job. I am a 31 yo married woman. When I started my job, my boss and I started what I thought was "harmless flirting" that meant nothing. I found out he had a wife and 2 kids. But this didnt stop me. WHY?? SELFISHNESS AND SERIOUS DELUSION. I too had a "nice" reason to wake up in the morning and go to work. WHICH FELT AWESOME coz lets face it, who really wants to got to work??? I now had a reason to smile in the morning. But that smile didnt last for very long. "Harmless flirting" turned into something so much more serious, so F##KEN serious in fact that, even now, I still cant grasp the reality of the destruction it has caused for me, him, and could potentially cause to our partners if they find out. A short time passed and the "harmless flirting" turned into him "kissing me out of the blue" that turned into "full blown sex for SIX months", that turned into "guilt and humiliation" that lead to me leaving my job, ending the affair, which is slowly killing me emotionally and mentally and leaving me with only thoughts of suicide. I fell in love with this man, he bailed on me when the **** hit the fan and I got the guilts. Now a month or so later, i have still no job, no self esteem, my bills are piling up, I will have to sell my home and car, i feel cheap and nasty - atleast a hooker gets paid for her services - and i feel used. All I ended up doing in the end was cheating, I lied to my husband and for what - a quick F##K???? i mean nothing more to him than the thing that he stuck his dick into to get his rocks off. The feeling of euphoria will last for a while, he will make you feel "special and wanted", he will probably even tell you he "loves" you, you are his "queen" and he wants to "be with you all the time" You are an "amazing person" YOU Make him feel good. You may go on a trip away - serveral infact BUT BE WARNED when the euphoria wears off and he starts to treat you like the whore he thinks you are, theres NO turning back. You will spiral into the deep dark pit of self destruction he has set you up for and when you get to the bottom of the hole that you have dug for yourself, its a very lonley place and no one can get you out of it. And when your "bubble world" bursts, and HONESTLY that is all it is - a fantasy world thats smashes into your reality world faster than you can say WTF - he will do what my boss did to me he threw me under the bus - he'll f##K off ON YOU, he'll leave you for dust. NOW that he has left you ALONE - have fun trying to pick yourself up, dust yourself off AND WORK OUT WTF HAPPENED. Now you will CRY AND CRY AND CRY AND CRY - remember when you had a reason to smile when you went off to work in the morning??? We'll you dont have a job to got to in the morning, ya boss is nowhere to be seen YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SMILE IN THE MORNING NOW, LET ALONE A REASON TO WAKE UP AND GET OUT OF BED. Now not only do i feel like ****, not only have i cheated and lied to my husband AND myself, i've ALSO been taken for a ride by this guy, I have self destructed and CANT deal with it......... OH and dont think for a second that he will give you that reference he says he will, THAT reference you DESERVE for working so hard................ HE WONT. Now my job prospects are ZERO and my life is in the toilet. All for a quick f##k that looking back now, SOOOOOOO WASNT WORTH IT Link to post Share on other sites
astra77 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 [quote=bentnotbroken;1719273 Yes, he is a prick and flirting, but just because he is being an @$$ doesn't mean you should aid him in his attempt to become a bigger butt hole than he already is. Your actions have more consequences than you getting your rocks off by a man showing you some attention, it could hurt a family with a child. Think about how you want to be perceived. As gullible, selfish and the side piece or as an strong, self reliant, woman of good character. Been there, done that, this is now my life. Its not pretty. DONT DO GET INVOLVED YOU ARE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF IN THE LONG RUN Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I am sure you have been told but gonna say it again...DO NOT GO THERE! It is not worth it. My H was the xOW supervisor too and once he ended it w/ her to R our M it was hard on both of them. She always thought he was trying to get her fired and he wasn't. It just isn't worth it. My wise SFIL said to my H "Don't get your honey where you make your money." Link to post Share on other sites
justanotherwoman Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Dont do it! It may seem like fun and you are finding ways in your mind to justify it but beleive us all when we say it just wont work! The fact that he and another collegue are making comments regarding "Hot Chicks" should immediately make you think that obviously you fall into this category and he really has no respect for you and is just a player boosting his ego. Imagine if you did do anything and worse developed the emotional feelings that go with sleeping with someone and then found that he had bragged to work collegues. Put your self in that position and imagine how you would feel. If it helps get lazy with your personal grooming so if the oppertunity did arise you would be too embarrassed to drop your knickers! Just an idea :0) Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 This is a new job for you.. and you think that he has CHANGED and that he is now looking at all the hot chicks... This is too funny... he has always been looking at hot chicks .. this is NOT new... You are getting yourself in big trouble.. this guy is NOT in love with you.. all he wants is sex.. but if you have sex with him.. you'll probably end up head over heels for him..and you'll get hurt.. mark my words... So if you go ahead and accept his advances... don't come back crying that you're heartbroken... you're old enough to have a job.. you're old enough to make your own choices.. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 You are as much a villain as he is. Especially if you can send a message here to say that you would have an affair with him if he asked. How much morals and ethics do you really have? I don't care what he does. A spouse looking for an affair can do so all they want... But, those who WILLING go into it knowing they are married ARE NOT innocent! And to even entertain such thoughts and behavior doesn't speak really highly of you. With that said... Ask yourself these questions... [1.]Would you want your boyfriend or husband do that to you? [2.]Would you want a woman who knows your man is involved to have sex with him if he intiated it? [3.]What are your thoughts about affairs? Do your really believe there is a good reason for them? If you can answer yes to any of them, go on with your moralless bad self and don't worry about what others think. Now if you have a problem with it, do yourself and his wife the favor of reporting his butt for sexual harassment. Or change your job. But, the ball is now in your court and you have to choose what is the right or wrong thing to do. DNR Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Sweetie, you are watching the beginnings of a serial cheater in motion. He is feeding his ego and he will do it over and over again. He paints a picture of a lovely life at home and wants you to wish it were you there instead of his wife. Deep down, you don't want to be her because she is always suspicious of his ways. Do not be one of his first throw-aways. Find some other hottie to have fun with. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 You definitely wouldnt reject the advances of a married man who has a wife and baby at home, and who stares at every bit of ass he sees? What the hell is wrong with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 You definitely wouldnt reject the advances of a married man who has a wife and baby at home, and who stares at every bit of ass he sees? What the hell is wrong with you? Perfect example of a "predatory" OW? Although I'm not sure a ONS (which is what it'll be) qualifies as an OW Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Perfect example of a "predatory" OW? Although I'm not sure a ONS (which is what it'll be) qualifies as an OW Nah - a predatory OW would be making the advances, not sitting back to see if they happen and then deciding whether to fend them off or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Nah - a predatory OW would be making the advances, not sitting back to see if they happen and then deciding whether to fend them off or not. Maybe, but she's waiting to pounce if given the opportunity apparently LOL Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I know he's married and I shouldn't care but I'm really attracted to him. If he made a move on me, I would definitely not reject his advances. He is usually really nice to me and tries to talk to me whenever I have a break but lately, he seems to be trying to get onto every attractive girl he sees. His flirting and signals just do not make sense with his sudden change of behaviour. Is he just feeding his ego or does he actually want to start an affair? Well go for it! Why should you care about his poor wife and baby girl? Just make yourself happy, isn't that what life is all about anyway? Oh and don't worry about those other girls he is flirting with and gawking at, it's probably you he really wants and would never cheat on you. Of course he is not feeding his ego and is ready to start the affair now. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Well go for it! Why should you care about his poor wife and baby girl? Just make yourself happy, isn't that what life is all about anyway? Oh and don't worry about those other girls he is flirting with and gawking at, it's probably you he really wants and would never cheat on you. Of course he is not feeding his ego and is ready to start the affair now. ROFL :lmao: (now how come I get flagged for sarcasm?) LF sighs Link to post Share on other sites
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