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Weird request from married friend


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I'm not sure where i should post this but I'm guessing that this would probably be the best place to do so. I've recently been approached with a request by a friend of mine who happens to be married.

 

Just a little background first - I've known my friend, Anna, since I was around 18 (I'm 25 now, she's 32). I met her through a friend of mine and since then we quickly became close friends. It was weird that we had such a strong connection because of how different we were. She was 7 years older and hung out with a crowd that was her age. She was more of a going out every night, well off, life of the party type woman. She was also drop dead gorgeous which made me want her very badly. On the other hand I was more of a broke student, quiet, and the type that preferred to stay home on a friday night.

 

Over the years we became closer and closer. She would usually come to me for support and advice, and would talk to me about things which she didn't feel comfortable talking about with her friends that she had known most of her life. She wasn't too shy about talking about her sex life in front of me (or most others for that matter). Anna wasn't the type that slept around, but at the same time she had this sexual edge to her which most guys loved. I had a huge crush on her since the day i had met her - this crush also led to us having quarrels regularly because at times i expected more from her than what a friend could normally give.

 

About 2 years ago she got married and around that time we had another little argument because i felt that she was neglecting our friendship, whereas she still stayed close to other male friends whom she didn't consider good friends as much as me. I just took it as a slap in the face. Since then we went our own ways and didn't keep in touch much and only kept tabs on each other through other friends.

 

Around this past January we bumped into each other on the street and decided to keep in touch again - this time it was only by emailing from work and chatting at times on msn. A couple of weeks ago she told me that she had something to talk to me about and would only talk to me about it over the phone.

 

When we eventually did talk, Anna told me that her and her husband have had a great sex life since the first time they were intimate, and they haven't slowed down one bit yet in the bedroom. Recently the two of them felt that they should take advantage of their relationship and try things in terms of sex that they never had a chance to in the past. One of the things that came up was that her husband has always had a fantasy about watching/filming Anna while she had sex with another man. I thought that sounded a bit weird but Anna assured me that there are a lot of guys out there who have similar fantasies, and that her husband has always been into porn (which probably has something to do with it). Anna said that at first she thought it was crazy too, but now feels that it would be fun to try.

 

They wanted to approach me because her husband felt that it shouldn't be any guy that he knew (for psychological reasons). Also, Anna felt that she trusted me because we were close in the past, and that since we weren't as close as before it would lead to less awkwardness. They did not want to go through a friend finding service because they didn't want a stranger in their bedroom.

 

You might think that this isn't so weird... well the catch is that currently Anna is 5 months pregnant. I asked why they want to do it now out of all times and she said that they originally wanted to wait until after the baby was born, but then they wouldn't have much free time. Also, she mentioned how ever since she got to the second trimester, her sex drive has been going crazy and her sexual appetite is bigger than ever - so it would be a good time for her to try.

 

So i'm just a little lost at the moment as to what to do - should I go through with their plans. First of all it's the issue of having sex with a married woman (but her husband approves). Second, having sex with a woman while her husband is watching/filming might make it hard to perform, and seems kind of weird. Finally the pregnancy issue - they say it's fine and nothing wrong with sex during pregnancy. It just seems kind of weird to go through with this. On the other hand Anna has been a part of my sexual fantasies for years, so there is a big part of me that wants to go through with this. They want an answer from me by the weekend so any advice on what to do would really help. This just has really caught me off guard.

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White Flower

Well, flexo. I was checking to see how many people posted. I thought there would be many but here I am among the first.

 

It seems that you are more apprehensive than willing. Do you want to partake in this fantasy of Anna and her H's? Will it be gratifying? Will it kill your friendship with Anna or does that matter any more? Are you comfortable with someone having a video of you having sex on it? Even more-are you comfortable knowing someone has a video of you having sex with a pregnant woman? There is a lot to think about.

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It seems that you are more apprehensive than willing. Do you want to partake in this fantasy of Anna and her H's? Will it be gratifying? Will it kill your friendship with Anna or does that matter any more? Are you comfortable with someone having a video of you having sex on it? Even more-are you comfortable knowing someone has a video of you having sex with a pregnant woman? There is a lot to think about.
I agree with White Flower. I don't blame you for your apprehension either. There is so much here; the act itself, the filming of it (a permanent record!) as well as the pregnancy (what if the child happens upon this film??).

 

I suggest you tread carefully here. Any hesitation at all would indicate a clear NO to me!

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My hunch is that if you went ahead with this you'd get emotionally dented in some way. I'm thinking of how you were hurt when she 'dropped you' when she got married (not criticising that, it was probably the best thing for her to do in the circumstances). I'm wondering how you will react to the emotions you would feel after you've been involved in this. Who is she going to be cuddling up with afterwards, etc.? When do you get to take your coat and leave them to enjoy what they still have of you on film?

 

Apart from that, what about your life? Are you going to be happy, as WF said, with there being a film of you out there forever, having sex with a pregnant woman? Things can get out, and it would be unwise to trust them with keeping it private. So if that bothers you at all, I'd say no.

 

You're only 25, and this could be a big mistake that you'll regret for a long time.

 

I'm not suggesting in any way that you should feel any of the things I've written about here. But given that you've come to a forum and asked about it, you obviously have doubts. I think you should listen to those doubts before acting.

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LucreziaBorgia

Be prepared for the death of the status quo. After this, your friendship will never be the same. You'll have to weigh your options: a kinky encounter followed by the death of all you knew in terms of your relationship with her, or let them find someone else and keep things as they are and will remain to be.

 

I'm sure after her H gets his jollies, as soon as he is finished ejaculating and the kink/sex drive grinds to a halt he will probably decide that keeping you around will represent a threat to their relationship and he (and she) will likely shut the door together on you to some extent if not entirely.

 

May as well let the door shut on some other dude, and keep things where they keep you happiest.

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Good advice given here.

 

Regardless of his "approval" or not, this will be a massive change in your relationship with her.

 

You can bet that a continued friendship between the two of you will become suspect in his eyes...rightfully so. Because the risk of this continuing "off camera" is great...this has all the potential to lead to a full blown affair very easily.

 

My wife and I were friends with a married couple who tried this with a guy that they let move into their house with them for a short time...within weeks it was a full blown affair. The last I knew, they were divorced, her H lost the house and custody, and was basically tossed out on the street. The kids were devestated.

 

Do you REALLY want to go down that route?

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I personally think these things are best done with a stranger who is safe, meaning no STD's. Now, how do you find a stranger, who's safe, who's willing to do this and who you'll never see again? Beats me. I think somethins are best left as a fantisy. I agree with the others. my guess is, if you do this, your relationship with your friend will change forever.

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whichwayisup

She is only thinking of herself in this, not you or your feelings. It's pretty obvious that you shared a connection with her, and she is unaware of how hurt you were when she paid more attention to her other male friends after being married and not you.

 

For your own sanity, don't do it. IT will ruin your friendship and change it forever. It isn't worth your heartache to experience this.

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bentnotbroken

With friends like this, who needs enemies. Your friend is showing you NO, I REPEAT NO respect. Why would a true friend put you in a potentially harmful situation for you. This will change who your are. No friend would do that to someone they care about.

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White Flower

About the video taping; you have to ask yourself what the worst possible scenario would be. Let's say one day you're married to the love of your life. Anna is now divorced and really jealous that you're totally over her. She pulls out the video and explains that not only you both had sex on tape, but she was pregnant with another man's child besides.

 

Of course, Anna may never do this to you and you might be able to explain it away by saying you were young and carefree but these are definitely scenarios you need to run through your head while making this decision. What are you OK living with?

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LakesideDream

Scarey Stuff Flexo,

 

As a man, I've got to advise you against going through with this. All the reasons stated before my reply are valid. Add to that the real possibility that your participating in her fantasy will open doors for you that don't need to be open.

 

She wants you to have sex... in front of a camera, for her and her husbands pleasure. She's up front and open about that. You sound like you would prefer to be making love to her. That's a formula for disaster.

 

Human nature being what it is you will be hurt by what happens not matter what the immediate outcome is. You could be hurt badly. IMO it's not worth the risk.

 

 

There is no downside to politely turning down her offer. You can always tell her that it might ruin your fantasy life (in a humorous way), or that you are to happy with your relationship with her to risk losing it. Both will flatter her.. make her smile, and get you off the hook.

 

Think hard Flexo.... There is no upside for you here kiddo.

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So i'm just a little lost at the moment as to what to do

 

 

Just a little?

 

Here is what you do:

 

You run, and you keep running.

 

Go find yourself a single beautiful girl who is yours and yours alone.

 

If you continue with this, you are going to head straight into an "OM" situation faster than you will know what hit you.

 

Fact is, Anna is a flake.

 

And by the way, I know and have known no guys who are into filming their wives/girlfriends/SOs with other men :sick:

 

xxoo

OE

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White Flower

And by the way, I know and have known no guys who are into filming their wives/girlfriends/SOs with other men :sick:

 

xxoo

OE

I know some people who would be into this and I don't think it necessarily means flexo will become the OM or that these people are necessarily flakes. It is a lifestyle that they believe in and will protect it fiercely.

 

However, flexo's apprehensiveness tells us that something is holding him back for a very good reason.

 

LsD might be right. Flexo may have stronger feelings for Anna than he should for a fantasy filming of meaningless sex.

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I know some people who would be into this and I don't think it necessarily means flexo will become the OM or that these people are necessarily flakes. It is a lifestyle that they believe in and will protect it fiercely.

 

It's very popular among IT guys, for some reason. Maybe it's something to do while their code compiles?

 

However, flexo's apprehensiveness tells us that something is holding him back for a very good reason.

 

The fact that he's posting here at all, and the nature of the post, suggests he's not likely to have a good time.

 

LsD might be right. Flexo may have stronger feelings for Anna than he should for a fantasy filming of meaningless sex.

 

Flexo wants to be her lover. Anna (and her H) want him to be her / their sex toy. Conflict of interest here.

 

She's only 5 months pregnant, and typically at 5 months women don't even show (apart from Pammy Andersonism in the mammary department, and rampant horniness) and it's typically the safest time in a pregnancy... but on the other hand, Flexo's apprehension suggests that if something happened and the kid was born with three heads, he'd feel personally responsible. Not a good idea.

 

WF's point about the video is also something to consider. When you love and trust someone, it's all good and well, but... Paris Hilton, anyone? Once these things exist, they can land up anywhere in the event of a fall-out, negligence or simple idiocy (not emptying the recycle bin on a shared computer, for instance). Would you like your mother to find that when she's looking for gardening videos on YouTube?

 

It's your choice Flexo but think about what she's signalling, and why she's chosen you - because you're no longer a meaningful part of her life, her H doesn't know you (and, by implication, won't, after this) => D I S P O S A B L E. I think that's a pretty clear diss, from someone you kinda liked, don't you?

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She's only 5 months pregnant, and typically at 5 months women don't even show ?

 

 

Have you had children?

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blind_otter

 

She's only 5 months pregnant, and typically at 5 months women don't even show

 

I showed at 16 weeks. My sisters also showed before 5 months. My friend also showed around 16/17 weeks.

 

At 20 weeks the baby weighs about 11 ounces and is nearly a foot long. The top of the uterus usually reaches the belly button by 20 weeks.

 

I do know of 2 women who did not show until they were 20 weeks, but one did "pop" at almost exactly 20 weeks. The other one was nearly 6 1/2 feet tall and didn't ever really look all that pregnant because she was so tall and had an extremely long torso.

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bentnotbroken
Have you had children?

 

 

With my first I didn't start to show until my 7th month. I am a runner, so I it took awhile. With my second, I showed the minute the stick turned blue, I was completely disgusted.

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whichwayisup

My sister was showing during her 5th month and with her second pregnancy, you could tell by the time she was 5 months along too. I guess it depends on the woman and how their body grows and also when one has a second, you show earlier.

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With my first I didn't start to show until my 7th month. I am a runner, so I it took awhile. With my second, I showed the minute the stick turned blue, I was completely disgusted.

 

 

I showed with my first when I was, I think, 8 weeks. It was just a little bump, but I loved it? It's funny how some woman like showing and others don't.

 

With my second and third, it was about at one month. It was very slight, and only I could tell. My husband thought I was imagining things.

 

Maybe when people say "show", they are talking about when it is obvious to everyone else.

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bentnotbroken
I showed with my first when I was, I think, 8 weeks. It was just a little bump, but I loved it? It's funny how some woman like showing and others don't.

 

With my second and third, it was about at one month. It was very slight, and only I could tell. My husband thought I was imagining things.

 

Maybe when people say "show", they are talking about when it is obvious to everyone else.

 

 

I think you are right, I meant when everyone could tell. I think I could detect a difference fairly early on, maybe like 8-10 weeks. But I am petite, so it should have shown up a lot earlier. I think it was only because I was running. Didn't run with the second,(really sick:sick:). Sorry for the t/j.

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Have you had children?

 

Yes. I still do (they tend to stick around once they're there...)

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I think you are right, I meant when everyone could tell. I think I could detect a difference fairly early on, maybe like 8-10 weeks. But I am petite, so it should have shown up a lot earlier. I think it was only because I was running. Didn't run with the second,(really sick:sick:). Sorry for the t/j.

 

I was never sick with the 1st or 2nd, but the third, my only girl, I was sick three months straight. I think a skinnier will also pop out earliar than one who has more to cover the bump.

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White Flower

I popped out at 2 months with each of them. I looked like I was preggo with twins the first time around!

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I popped out at 2 months with each of them. I looked like I was preggo with twins the first time around!

 

Wow. I was one of those who looked no different (besides the Pammy Anderson bits) until I woke up one morning at about 7 months and found an elephant in my bed. Which turned out to be me...

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bentnotbroken
Wow. I was one of those who looked no different (besides the Pammy Anderson bits) until I woke up one morning at about 7 months and found an elephant in my bed. Which turned out to be me...

 

 

Really, I thought someone was following me one day, turns out it was my a*s*s:p

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