How did this happen?

[onmyownagain]

Hi,

 

I separated from my wife in January, and have been dealing with everything thats involved with that situation, but that is another story (see my other posts if interested).

 

My problem now is, I got talking to a lady via Facebook a couple of months ago, she is very happily married and husband knows we chat so no problems and I could relax.

 

We started chatting most days and even exchanged mobile numbers etc. and are in contact all the time.

 

The trouble is, about two weeks ago something happened and to cut a long story short, we ended up having cyber sex.

 

I felt really guilty about this and tried to distance myself from her but doesn't seem to be happening, we are doing this most nights now and late at night, I suppose it is only a matter of time before she gets caught doing this, she even phoned me late one evening when he was sleeping. She also wants to meet up.

 

I have stopped the meeting bit so far because I think I know what will happen if we meet.

 

What the hell am I doing? How did I become the OM!!!! Never thought that would ever happen.

[Lishy]

It is easy when you are indoors by yourself at night and alone and lonely.

 

I can see exactly how this happened hon and I also think you will end up getting hurt all over again.

 

This woman is happily married? Are you sure? This is not the action of a happily married woman!

 

Be careful she is not priming you for a threesome with her and her hubby, there are lots of couples like that! Ask yourself this, what husband would be ok with his wife talking to a strange man on facebook or on the phone?

 

I think you are too emotionally raw to be dealing with this right now babe

[frannie]

... she is very happily married and husband knows we chat so no problems and I could relax.

 

That's how it happened.

 

It's not 'safe' to chat like this with married people, however 'happily married' they are. Things get out of hand. Sorry it's happened to you but at least you're aware of the dangers now.

[onmyownagain]

It is easy when you are indoors by yourself at night and alone and lonely.

 

I can see exactly how this happened hon and I also think you will end up getting hurt all over again.

 

This woman is happily married? Are you sure? This is not the action of a happily married woman!

 

Be careful she is not priming you for a threesome with her and her hubby, there are lots of couples like that! Ask yourself this, what husband would be ok with his wife talking to a strange man on facebook or on the phone?

 

I think you are too emotionally raw to be dealing with this right now babe

 

 

Hi Lishy, been a while....

 

Don't think she is priming for a threesome but they are having trouble having kids which is causing them problems, she is 37 so at that age if you know what I mean.

 

 

You are right about me and relationships, I haven't been looking for them as not really ready, you know my history. This just crept out on me and I am having trouble dealing with it.

[pentacle]

What exactly does cyber sex entail?

 

How do you know if either one of you is faking it?

 

Is it partly the thrill that it isn't totally real, and therefore not totally wrong?

 

Can you explain?

[onmyownagain]

What exactly does cyber sex entail?

 

How do you know if either one of you is faking it?

 

Is it partly the thrill that it isn't totally real, and therefore not totally wrong?

 

Can you explain?

 

Don't want to go into too much detail, but it is either describing what you want to do to the other, or what the other is doing to themselves right now.

[Lishy]

Cyber sex can be very thrilling when you are lonely and it also feels safe as you are not seeing that person

 

Alas, it can also give you the feeling that you are falling for that person and someone is very likely to get hurt!

 

Honey you also need to ask if the problem having kids lies with her hubby so she could be looking for a surrogate daddy? That is not beyond comprehension and more common than you think!

 

Can you turn on your PMs OMOA?

[onmyownagain]

Honey you also need to ask if the problem having kids lies with her hubby so she could be looking for a surrogate daddy? That is not beyond comprehension and more common than you think!

 

Can you turn on your PMs OMOA?

 

The problem is with him, We became quite close friends before all this started (as much as you can be when you haven't met) and she did tell me about it.

[Lishy]

Be careful honey!

 

You dont want to be used and I really do not think this is a healthy situation given the upset you have been through recently

 

How are things with the ex?

 

Can you turn your Private messages on?

[onmyownagain]

Be careful honey!

Can you turn your Private messages on?

 

Message sent

[Lookingforward]

Hi,

 

I separated from my wife in January, and have been dealing with everything thats involved with that situation, but that is another story (see my other posts if interested).

 

My problem now is, I got talking to a lady via Facebook a couple of months ago, she is very happily married and husband knows we chat so no problems and I could relax.

 

We started chatting most days and even exchanged mobile numbers etc. and are in contact all the time.

 

The trouble is, about two weeks ago something happened and to cut a long story short, we ended up having cyber sex.

 

I felt really guilty about this and tried to distance myself from her but doesn't seem to be happening, we are doing this most nights now and late at night, I suppose it is only a matter of time before she gets caught doing this, she even phoned me late one evening when he was sleeping. She also wants to meet up.

 

I have stopped the meeting bit so far because I think I know what will happen if we meet.

 

What the hell am I doing? How did I become the OM!!!! Never thought that would ever happen.

 

 

pretty obvious how it happened - yet you sound SO surprised - and you are continuing to do it

 

give me a break already

[neverendingsaga]

pretty obvious how it happened - yet you sound SO surprised - and you are continuing to do it

 

give me a break already

 

wow that was really harsh

 

OP i think you just need to take some time alone & stop talking to this married woman. it doesnt seem like she is good for you emotionally. sometimes the hardest path- being on our own & looking out for ourselves- is better than what seems temporarily like the 'easiest' path- looking to someone else to fill whats missing inside of us.

 

good luck to you OP

[onmyownagain]

wow that was really harsh

 

OP i think you just need to take some time alone & stop talking to this married woman. it doesnt seem like she is good for you emotionally. sometimes the hardest path- being on our own & looking out for ourselves- is better than what seems temporarily like the 'easiest' path- looking to someone else to fill whats missing inside of us.

 

good luck to you OP

 

Thanks nes,

 

I know that saying what I have today would open me up to abuse, maybe I deserve it. I am a bit mixed up and don't want to mess up someone elses life.

[Lookingforward]

wow that was really harsh

 

OP i think you just need to take some time alone & stop talking to this married woman. it doesnt seem like she is good for you emotionally. sometimes the hardest path- being on our own & looking out for ourselves- is better than what seems temporarily like the 'easiest' path- looking to someone else to fill whats missing inside of us.

 

good luck to you OP

 

 

I don't think it was harsh at ALL - I didn't see the OP asking how to STOP it, did you ?

[Lookingforward]

Thanks nes,

 

I know that saying what I have today would open me up to abuse, maybe I deserve it. I am a bit mixed up and don't want to mess up someone elses life.

 

 

that wasn't abuse - it was honesty - read your own words ....

 

I felt really guilty about this and tried to distance myself from her but doesn't seem to be happening, we are doing this most nights now and late at night, I suppose it is only a matter of time before she gets caught doing this, she even phoned me late one evening when he was sleeping. She also wants to meet up.

[Lishy]

pretty obvious how it happened - yet you sound SO surprised - and you are continuing to do it

 

give me a break already

 

If only life were that black and white!

 

Sh*t happens and at least he knows he is doing wrong .... So many people do much worse and defend themselves to the limit!

 

I agree you were a bit harsh and he did not ask how to stop as he knows how to stop, he is just shocked he got himself into this position!

 

He will do the right thing, he is a good guy!

[Lookingforward]

If only life were that black and white!

 

Sh*t happens and at least he knows he is doing wrong .... So many people do much worse and defend themselves to the limit!

 

I agree you were a bit harsh and he did not ask how to stop as he knows how to stop, he is just shocked he got himself into this position!

 

He will do the right thing, he is a good guy!

 

if you say so, but I didn't see him making any impassioned pleas asking how to stop doing it and if he , as YOU say, knows how to stop then why isn't he ?

[Lishy]

He has only just realise dthe depth of what has been going on, these things do not happen overnight, they creep up on you.

 

They were friends and chatting and then the other night it changed

 

Jeeeeeeeeze dude give the man time before you jump on him!

[Lookingforward]

He has only just realise dthe depth of what has been going on, these things do not happen overnight, they creep up on you.

 

They were friends and chatting and then the other night it changed

 

Jeeeeeeeeze dude give the man time before you jump on him!

 

 

well sorry, but as I've not had the benefit of heartfelt PMs with OP I'm just going by what I see posted here - he says it is continuing - I havent seen any posts where the OP says "I'm stopping this right NOW, as I've realised what I'm doing"

[Lishy]

well sorry, but as I've not had the benefit of heartfelt PMs with OP I'm just going by what I see posted here - he says it is continuing - I havent seen any posts where the OP says "I'm stopping this right NOW, as I've realised what I'm doing"

 

Ummmmmm actually he is a single man it is the woman who is married and coming on to him ... Soooo really who is wrong here? It is only his morals that are making him question it!

 

He knows it is wrong and he is going to stop it

 

What is your beef?

 

If you want to have an argument then go find someone else to argue with .... Thank you

[Lookingforward]

Ummmmmm actually he is a single man it is the woman who is married and coming on to him ... Soooo really who is wrong here? It is only his morals that are making him question it!

 

He knows it is wrong and he is going to stop it

 

What is your beef?

 

If you want to have an argument then go find someone else to argue with .... Thank you

 

 

where did I say I thought the OP was married ? I CAN read ... he said the woman is married - sheesh - can you let the OP answer for himself if you wouldn't mind ?

[Lookingforward]

He has only just realise dthe depth of what has been going on, these things do not happen overnight, they creep up on you.

 

They were friends and chatting and then the other night it changed

 

Jeeeeeeeeze dude give the man time before you jump on him!

 

Umm no, according to the OP's original post this has been continuing for some time now - which is why I wondered why the OP hasn't done anything to put a halt to it if he is concerned about it having gone to something other than 'chatting'

[onmyownagain]

Got worse now. I had to fly up on a business trip yesterday, she works at the airport, I thought it would be good to meet up and put this back to a friends thing, but this didn't happen.

 

I checked in for my flight then met her for a cup of tea, the first time we have met.

 

I felt very nervous and she picked up on it. Reached over and held my hand. I froze completely, didn';t know what to do!!!

 

We sat like that for ages until my plane was called, she then walked me to the gate holding my hand and then kissed me!! Have overstepped the mark completely now.

 

I feel such a bad guy now :-(

[Lishy]

I think you knew exactly what you were doing babe

 

Oh well, get ready for another roller coaster ride!

[onmyownagain]

I think you knew exactly what you were doing babe

 

Oh well, get ready for another roller coaster ride!

 

Going to end it today.