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My Mother knocked some sense into me tonight...


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I told her what happened last weekend--how he white lied to me, but how that one little dumb stupid lie added to all the other lies and I blew up at him in public with an audience.

 

Her response:

 

GWYNETH, when will you EVER learn? You don't want to listen to what Anyone has to say to you. You go and get yourself in this twisted relationship and then get pregnant. You say you didn't want this guy more than just for the affair. What is it GWYNETH? (somewhat her exact words...but she emphasises Gwyneth...:mad:.)

 

I guess I should have discussed this with my mother before coming here and discussing it and adding to the hormonal emotions I already have. For some reason, a mother's touch and voice / words are easier to deal with--compared to strangers, you know?

 

She advised me to make my big decision soon, but I told her I don't know if I want him to not be a part of the baby's life. She reminded me how inconsistent and unreliable the man is and has been, and to apply that to my child's life. She said men don't change just for a baby--especially one out of wedlock whom he isn't completely obligated to. She also said this man has yet to prove he can be a wonderful father like my child so deserves--and that he is still a baby himself.

 

She also suggested I not talk to him for some time, regardless of his recent email to me making claims he's changing his life because he wants to be a part of the baby's life. My mother thinks he's still a baby himself that needs his mommy to finish raising him. She also thinks his email is BS and she'll believe it when she sees it. I agreed to that point. She said to stop buying into his BS and enjoy my pregnancy to the fullest, and concentrate on my pregnancy--not the lame excuse for a father (that's one of the things she refers to him as). She also said she wants to meet him and literally knock some sense into him...:laugh: And to not allow him at the appointments--he has no business being there. I said I don't want to take the right from him to experience his child growing--she gave me a :rolleyes:and said he lost that opportunity the moment he slept with me.

 

I'm going to for now just have NC with him and avoid him as much as possible during commutes. Right now I want to concentrate on my pregnancy and not add to my every day stress levels.

 

I have learned a great deal from MistressWithChildren seeing what she is going through with her two children right now and the father of her children--how neglectful he is being. A few other mothers on here as well who have recently come out with the same situations. I don't want to be the Other family--or the mistress with children. But I am the later. I don't want his neglectfulness and carelessness affect my child's life EVER. And I do realize that his character can easily influence my child's character and well-being. I defintely do not want a lying slacker as a child (especially if I am having a boy). I realize I will some day be MWC waiting for MM to come over to see his children (Minus the relevant Iraq reason).

 

Well I just want to say thanks to those who have supported me with their words of wisdom, experience, and best advice--but an even bigger thanks to my mother who I for some reason always end up listening to, even if the advice was already given here. Even if it appears I was not agreeing with your advice and not listening, I was. I'm just stubborn, but some of you wanted to keep arguing with me. I read every post, and I comprehended every post.

 

:love: Gwyneth

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Glad your mom was able to get through to you.

 

Enjoy the pregnancy. Don't worry about that loser.

 

Don't even think about him.

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mistresswchildren

I'm glad that you have the stability of your mother to counteract what can sometimes be crazy emotions during your pregnancy. I sadly did not have that, and I really feel that is why I ended up with two kids instead of one. I am really happy for you.

 

Although my pregnancies were really rough, parts of them were highly enjoyable. You just have to be completely aware that the child you are carrying is the only gift that man ever gave to you. Every time you feel that baby move, think about the strength that you have inside of you to do what is right for the baby. He is not what is right. You are. All the baby needs is the unconditional love of a truly caring person, and I really think that you can give that to him or her Gwyn.

 

Remember, also, to keep yourself happy. Forget about all the BS from the A. It is done and in the past now. Live in this moment. The pregnancy will come and go. The first year will fly. Every minute that you have with that child, cherish it. Do not get yourself caught up in the stupidity of another person. It is just a waste of time. Trust me, I know. ;)

 

I am happy that you made this choice. I really do feel that it is the best choice for you and that baby. Also, keep us posted on the little one. I have really started to think about a lot of the people on here as friends, and you are definitely one of those people.

 

Any light that I have shed onto your situation, I am glad to provide. Any questions that you need to have answered, I will share. I do not have all the answers, but I am a shoulder to lean on if you need it. We are going through very similar situations, and since I have a little more experience in it, I would be glad to give you my take on it.:)

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whichwayisup

Your mom is one smart lady and I'm glad you're listening to her. She knows what's what, that's for sure.

 

Oh 'definately' (yes, I am one of those who spell it the wrong way, hehe) I will keep you on your toes when you start to have doubts and want to trust him again.

 

Enjoy your pregnancy, don't let him take that from you!! Go NC and stay in NC until YOU feel ready to deal with him.

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Thank you all :) Sorry this reply is so late--I have had a hectic weekend. Plus my mother dumped my little sister on me for the weekend again...:rolleyes:

 

:love: G

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Your mum certainly is one smart lady, and I agree with her wholeheartedly! I am so glad that someone IRL has echoed what many of us have been trying to tell you for ages Gwyneth- having someone who loves you tell you that will help you to see that people here weren't trying to fight with you.

 

Well done, and say thanks to your mum from me-

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