How stupid was I ?

[Lightglowabove]

I am a MW, who was in a PA with a single guy. A single guy, do you believe it? We were together for about 8 months, and 2 weeks ago, I ended it. It was hard to do this, but it needed to be done.

 

Looking back, I think how stupid I was. He never, ever, asked about my husband. He never asked why I was doing this....why I was unhappy in my marriage. What's with that? I believe that meant he had no intention of us being together. Talk about feeling low and used.

 

He says he wants to remain friends with me, yet he hasn't called at all. He's texted and I've texted back, but no calls.

 

Talk about feeling like crap. I guess I really didnt mean that much to him.

 

Comments?

[whichwayisup]

He never, ever, asked about my husband. He never asked why I was doing this....why I was unhappy in my marriage. What's with that? I believe that meant he had no intention of us being together. Talk about feeling low and used.

 

Why should he care? He isn't the married one, you are. Sorry to sound harsh, but you didn't think of your husband or your husband's feelings when you cheated.

 

Why are you so concerned about the single OM. What about your husband? Have you tried to fix your marriage problems? Go to marriage counselling with your husband?

 

To be honest the best thing that can happen is the OM not contact you, let it be over.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. I believe that meant he had no intention of us being together. Talk about feeling low and used.

 

2. He says he wants to remain friends with me, yet he hasn't called at all. He's texted and I've texted back, but no calls.

 

1. Well, perhaps he didn't - some guys target women in relationships because they know that there is a better chance that it will stay 'no strings'. It is bad that you feel low and used, but with time and no contact with him you will find yourself feeling less that way.

 

2. You can't be friends with someone you were having sex with after this short of a time. I'm not sure if you were genuinely friends to begin with (meaning that it was purely platonic), but when it crossed the line the friendship part was replaced with something else. You can't really go back, not until there are absolutely no romantic or sexual feelings left. At that point, considering most 'friendships' like this are initiated with the sole purpose of hooking up, there really isn't a friendship to go back to.

 

What is your behavior like around your husband? Surely he has noticed something is up by now. Affairs are hard to hide, the aftermath (withdrawal and sadness) even harder.

 

I see this isn't your first affair. Why do you want to stay married?

[Classy Lady]

Don't consider youself stupid, sometimes in our marrige we crave that special feeling we once had and then come the OM that may be single, married, divorced it really does'nt matter, but that brings back that fantasy that we once had in our marrige.He sweeps us off our feet, giving the attention we are lacking at home. Makes us feel beautiful and special, important and just like that when you realize your way deep into an A. I would say your very smart to wake up before it was too late. I was married for 19 years when I found that OM that made me feel that way. Gave me what I was lacking, and I was not as smart as you, I fell for it, left my husband and after 3 1/2 years into the A, realized it was never going to happen. I don't regret the A, I felt loved, but learned my lesson the hard way. So please talk to your H, tell him what your missing, put all that energy into your marrige and don't be one of the stupid ones that realized too late. Good Luck!