Jump to content

I did it...but I need Help!


Recommended Posts

Classy Lady

A quick resume of my story....3 1/2 years with my
MM
, who was with is
W
who is 26 years older than him , We are in our 40's...He left her & one year ago & 9 months after ; he gave me an engagement ring during Xmas. After 2 days engagement , he changed his mind and decided to go back after he had left the house for 1 year and we had an open relationship, he said he did it for financial reasons, she has money....lots of money. After what he did to me, I still accepted him ,becoming his lover after he gave me an engagement ring and for the next 3 months on the down low became his G ,becoming his mistress again. Finally today; I could'nt deal with it any longer...it was driving me crazy, crying & drinking all the time, and told him it was over, not to come back until he had divorce papers in his hands. He said if that was what I wanted, he would do it ; but did not stop me. Reality is....I miss him dearly, I want to call him to come back. I know I should'nt ;but my heart is weak....Please I need support & advice not to.

Edited by Classy Lady
thread subect correction
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lookingforward

Classy, how long have they been together (married) ? Just wondering as you said his kids stayed with her

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lookingforward

Okay, so married to her for 9 years, 3 1/2 of which was with you as well ?

 

Then the on again off again "engagement" to you...

 

Do you really want to be "with" someone that you could never be sure of ?

 

Tell yourself over and over that you are worth MORE than that....

Link to post
Share on other sites
Okay, so married to her for 9 years, 3 1/2 of which was with you as well ?

 

Then the on again off again "engagement" to you...

 

Do you really want to be "with" someone that you could never be sure of ?

 

Tell yourself over and over that you are worth MORE than that....

 

Good one!

 

What was he thinking? Giving you an engagement ring whilst still married?!

Link to post
Share on other sites

and told him it was over, not to come back until he had divorce papers in his hands. He said if that was what I wanted, he would do it ; but did not stop me. Reality is....I miss him dearly, I want to call him to come back. I know I should'nt ;but my heart is weak....Please I need support & advice not to.

 

Classy Lady, well done for standing up for what you wanted, and telling him it was over.

 

I think the key for you now is to keep concentrating on how much you want to have the life you deserve. Yes, you miss him, yes you love him. But if you break NC and go back to him on his terms you will ONLY ever be unhappy. If he can't deliver what you need, and what you deserve, there's just no point in picking up that phone, is there..?

 

Really, he's behaved so badly to you, that you would be better advised to try to put him completely in your past. But I know you're finding that very hard. So try not to think too much about that, and stick to your guns on this: you don't want him back in your life, still married to her. Put your foot down and stick to that... any time you feel weak, reaffirm your needs and desires to yourself. Being weak with him will only make you far more unhappy than you are right this moment, however much you miss him.

 

((( CL )))

Link to post
Share on other sites
. Reality is....I miss him dearly, I want to call him to come back. I know I should'nt ;but my heart is weak....Please I need support & advice not to.

 

One reason alone you should not want to contact him. he is a cheater.

 

Why do you want a cheater?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Good for you, Classy Lady. I am so proud of you. Just remember that you are strong on your own and you don't need him. I agree with Lyssa -- it was so wrong and messed-up of him to give you an engagement ring while he's married to someone else!! You don't need that kind of confusion and drama in your life. The next time a guy gives you an engagement ring, he will really mean it and be able to carry through on his promises to you!! You should settle for no less. :) Congrats and stay strong. ((hugs))

Link to post
Share on other sites

A quick resume of my story....3 1/2 years with my
MM
, who was with is
W
who is 26 years older than him , We are in our 40's...He left her & one year ago & 9 months after ; he gave me an engagement ring during Xmas. After 2 days engagement , he changed his mind and decided to go back after he had left the house for 1 year and we had an open relationship, he said he did it for financial reasons, she has money....lots of money. After what he did to me, I still accepted him ,becoming his lover after he gave me an engagement ring and for the next 3 months on the down low became his G ,becoming his mistress again. Finally today; I could'nt deal with it any longer...it was driving me crazy, crying & drinking all the time, and told him it was over, not to come back until he had divorce papers in his hands. He said if that was what I wanted, he would do it ; but did not stop me. Reality is....I miss him dearly, I want to call him to come back. I know I should'nt ;but my heart is weak....Please I need support & advice not to.

 

As tough as it may seem right now, it appears you have made the right choice. It really sounds like you have been strung along here. I know this hurts real bad right now and I feel for you. I say No contact and move forward to someone who is 100% available to you because your deserve that. Stay Strong. Hugs.

 

AP:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Classy Lady

Thank you ladies for all your wise words of encouragement. It is because of your advice and support that I have realized I am stronger than I thought, and I definitely deserve better. "This too shall pass".

Link to post
Share on other sites
LOVE DAISIES

Classy, I feel for you. Sometimes we miss something even if it ISN;T good for us....but it doesn't mean we NEED it in our life. Most of the time it's a sign that we have dependency issues. Being in an Affair is very often addictive. The highs and lows...the craziness. So it's normal to MISS those feelings once they are gone. What you are and will go through for a while is withdrawals...like you are coming off drugs. But you need to feel it..and go through it regardless of how much it hurts. You WILL feel normal again...just give it some time, and take time for YOU.

Congrats on kicking the loser out of your life...you can do much better..and you WILL.... :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
child_of_isis

The cold hard facts: He thinks more of money and his own comfort than he does you.

 

He said he did it for financial reasons....read & absorb that statement.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...