Easter - another reminder he is gone

[showupbutbroken]

I swear each holiday just seems to break my heart. Being without him hurts worse than anything ever has before. I am keeping busy but when I come home, lay down to sleep, I am reminded that he is gone. Not for a day or a week but forever. Lately, that pill have been harder than anything I have ever had to swallow. I don't think he is perfect or that everything was perfect for our future. I do know he is everything I ever wanted in a man but married. I know he is very unhappy, I know he is figuring out his own life right now, but I am not whole anymore without him. I don't know how to get past this. I am missing a part of who I have become.

[OpenBook]

I'm sorry, showup. I know the pain is excruciating. I've been there myself, and so have many others. But it's not going to be this way forever.

 

Is it possible that you have placed too much of your self-worth into his hands?? If so, it's time to start taking it back. Because it is absolutely NOT his call, nor his authority, nor in his capacity to do so.

 

[[[Hugs]]]

[LOVE DAISIES]

Show up.........Holidays are tough...VERY tough...........

But some are harder than others. I agree....

But...if you can make it through the holidays..you are doing GOOD!!!!

Hang in there.Holidays are NOT a barometer of your success in or out

of a relationship. It is often your ability to get THROUGH the tought

. times that dictates YOUR succes!!!!!!!! If the relatinship is NOT meeting YOUR needs, then it does not matter WHAT time of year it is..........Hang in there. You will be ok!!!!

[LakesideDream]

Ditto. Holidays can be some of the hardest times. While it doesen't affect me the same way anymore, I remember.....

[goingforgold]

**hugs**

At the time it may not feel like it and maybe you dont want to hear it but times does heal.

You need to allow time to grieve for what has been lost. It's a process you must got through to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

[showupbutbroken]

Thanks for the replies. I have been through breakups but I was usually starting to feel better by this time. I honestly feel like part of me is with him still. I have been going out and doing things (mini vacations, sporting events, concerts) and tried not having a drop of alcohol (I know drinking makes its worse) but I just can't get past the empty feeling and the dull pain. I am strong, I lead a full life, I just hate each holiday that comes my way anymore. It has only been about 2 months, I know obviously not enough time, but I just can't cross over the initial step to feeling ok again.

[Meaplus3]

Thanks for the replies. I have been through breakups but I was usually starting to feel better by this time. I honestly feel like part of me is with him still. I have been going out and doing things (mini vacations, sporting events, concerts) and tried not having a drop of alcohol (I know drinking makes its worse) but I just can't get past the empty feeling and the dull pain. I am strong, I lead a full life, I just hate each holiday that comes my way anymore. It has only been about 2 months, I know obviously not enough time, but I just can't cross over the initial step to feeling ok again.

 

Healing takes time. You sound very strong. You are doing all the right things by keeping yourself busy. Little steps each day, you will get there. Best whishes.

 

AP:)

[showupbutbroken]

I still am dealing with the fact that I don't see the light. Not even a little. I know life will be ok without him, it just doesn't feel like it will be complete. There is no ray of sunshine without him. I know he is the love of my life at age 36. I can't imagine life without him.