Coming Out Of The Fog

[LOVE DAISIES]

This forum has helped me in so many ways. I found the stength to

end....albeit very slowly, an emotional affair that had been going on for

over 3 years.

 

Some days are still hard. It took me three years to get to this point...

so it has been a long, sometimes difficult process letting go. This person

has meant so much to me in so many ways. He has been my friend first and foremost.I know he does not want to lose me but he knows I must put my own well being before anything else. I also know he never meant to hurt me.I just don't think he thought of the consequences of his actions when he decided to marry his W last year. One of those consequences was that it changed OUR relationship....maybe forever.

 

I admit, I am not over him, but it is getting easier every day. I miss him...I miss his friendship....but I know I am worth more than to accept

crumbs or to accept his "friendship" as a consolation prize.

 

For anyone who is thinking of ending an affair...do it for YOU, not to force anyones hand. And do it now..the longer you wait, the harder it will be to let go when you do. It is a process, so don't expect to feel better

right away. You will go through your own hell for a while...but little by little you will be stronger for it. I promise...

[NoIDidn't]

This thread deserves a convo starter.

 

Congratulations. I know how hard to break emotional ties are. You may slip back a few more times, but you will make it eventually. Good luck.

[Gwyneth]

This is Very good news for you Very well written too--you seem very strong. Keep getting stronger!

[Lyssa]

I admit, I am not over him, but it is getting easier every day. I miss him...I miss his friendship....but I know I am worth more than to accept crumbs or to accept his "friendship" as a consolation prize.

 

For anyone who is thinking of ending an affair...do it for YOU, not to force anyones hand. And do it now..the longer you wait, the harder it will be to let go when you do. It is a process, so don't expect to feel better

right away. You will go through your own hell for a while...but little by little you will be stronger for it. I promise...

 

It will take a while for you to get over him but you will. You know that already cause you said it's getting easier every day.

 

You deserve more and someone who wants to be with you and not anyone else.

 

I'm glad to know that you're getting stronger day by day, LD.

 

[[[LD]]]

[Starla]

well done, daisies!!! i have just broken off my affair - well, it was a mutual decision - but he wants to continue being friends...i know that's a red flag, so i will see how i go. but i think by the sounds of it you are so together right now, and did the right thing for you!!!

[nadiaj2727]

This forum has helped me in so many ways. I found the stength to

end....albeit very slowly, an emotional affair that had been going on for

over 3 years.

 

Some days are still hard.

 

Congratulations Love Daisies, I am so happy for you. This forum also helped me realize that my situation was not unique, that I was being strung along (in an 8 month affair), that I even *was* an OW and that that's not who I wanted to be!

 

I am still not completely over the fact that I was an OW and that I let myself be one for 8 months. But I'm glad this forum helped me realize that that was the case and gave me some strength to end it. I agree it's still hard... I wonder how I could have gotten caught up in it, I feel guilty, and I remember those feelings I had for xMM even though I know they were exaggerated because of the affair situation, etc.

 

Good for you for finding your strength. I hope other OWs who want to end their A can find that same strength. (hugs)