BurriedAlive Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Hi Everyone... It has been a long time since I have posted. I am doing very well - I have truly moved on and I hardly ever think of MM anymore. Anyway, on Thursday, I received an email from W!!! It will be a year since D-Day very soon. She is asking me strange questions like if I had a contact with MM before Aug 11 and since then. Like what the heck is she talking about??? Aug 11th???? She also wants to know if I slept with MM when we went on a work trip back in 2006 which is a really strange question at this point. Her last question was if I was the one who sent her the anonymous email telling her about the A. He!! no - I have already told her this like 4 times. I decided not to answer her but it's like things are weighing on my mind since I got her email. I really don't want to reopen this but maybe I should answer her as a courtesy even though I don't think she believes me anyway. So what should I do? For you BSs out there, why is she contacting me now and should I answer her? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Hi Everyone... It has been a long time since I have posted. I am doing very well - I have truly moved on and I hardly ever think of MM anymore. Anyway, on Thursday, I received an email from W!!! It will be a year since D-Day very soon. She is asking me strange questions like if I had a contact with MM before Aug 11 and since then. Like what the heck is she talking about??? Aug 11th???? She also wants to know if I slept with MM when we went on a work trip back in 2006 which is a really strange question at this point. Her last question was if I was the one who sent her the anonymous email telling her about the A. He!! no - I have already told her this like 4 times. I decided not to answer her but it's like things are weighing on my mind since I got her email. I really don't want to reopen this but maybe I should answer her as a courtesy even though I don't think she believes me anyway. So what should I do? For you BSs out there, why is she contacting me now and should I answer her? Thanks! He may be doing it again. Or she may have really healed enough for true closure. I can't tell you what to do, I would appreciate some answers, but you have to also consider your well being, since it has been a year out. At this point, your mental health and stability matter as much as hers does. Link to post Share on other sites
Can'tGiveUp Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I'm not a BS, but since you have communicated with her before maybe a final email response might not be a bad idea. I haven't reread your threads, so I am not sure about time frames etc., but below is my advice on responding: You could just say that you have moved on with your life and the reminder from her is not appreciated. Tell her you haven't spoken to him in a long time (if that is true and I don't think specifics are necessary), and that you really don't know what the significance of Aug 11th is. If you know you haven't spoken to him since say June, you could tell her that you know you had no contact with him around that time. As for 2006, I'd just say you don't remember. Reiterate that you did not inform her of the A. And close by telling her that you won't respond to her again as that part of your life is closed and you don't want to revisit it again. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 (edited) Sounds like he's still (again?) cheating with someone else, and his wife is trying to put the pieces together. That would explain why she's asking you about specific stuff like Aug. 11 - something obviously happened at that point between them - and again about the anonymous email. Most likely he lied to her about that - blamed it on you, perhaps, so as to hide evidence of any other OW he's with - and she's now trying to figure out what exactly he has lied about. I don't think she's healed...if she were, she wouldn't be stirring things up again with someone who is long out of her life now. I'd say signs point to him having another affair, and you're the only person she knows of for sure, and she needs someone (other than her lying husband!) to ask questions to. If you do decide to answer (and that's totally up to you), I agree with Can'tGiveUp that reiterating that you didn't send the anonymous letter - but most importantly that that part of your life is closed and you've moved on - is the best way to go. It'll tell her what she's really asking - that yes, there's at least one other OW in the picture. Edited to add - that said, I don't think you should feel obligated to reply, by the way, since you've already answered that question multiple times. It's whatever you're comfortable with. Edited March 24, 2008 by serial muse Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 Answer her questions honestly and let her know how long you've been in NC mode with him. I take it you are in NC mode with him and have been for quite a while? Anyway, the choice is yours - If you feel it will help her, then email her. If you don't feel comfortable answering, then don't. Just delete and block her, go on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Starla Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 i think i would reply - it might continue to weigh heavily on you and you might start to feel bad as well, for her. as you're doing so well now, i think you probably have the strength to do this!! Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I would agree with some of the replies here. I think he's doing it again and she is probably thinking it's you again but just checking to make sure. She's prob. really insecure at this point and not knowing if you and her H are continuing seeing each other again, I'd email her back and let her know with certainty that it isn't you. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 He is either doing it again or she needs closure from you. I think at this point she has gotten all of the answers her H is going to give her about the A. Maybe she thinks he is lying about some of it and wants to come to you to ask. She probably figures you have moved on w/ your life and have gotten over her H. You need to do what you feel comfortable doing. Personally,if I was this BW I would like you to answer my email but I could understand why you wouldn't. Once I told the xOW never to call again or a restrainer order would be placed on her she never called again. She was a pest! Link to post Share on other sites
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