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Never_Again

I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

 

XMM didn't contact me for almost a year. Once he found out through the grapevine I was going after him for child support for our young child that he has NEVER had ANY KIND OF involvement with he immediately sent me an email. It was strictly business but full of his usual stupid quips and just pissed me off. He thinks he is SO SMART. You might be smarter than me in manipulating people and lying, but you will NEVER be intellectually smarter than me, jacka$$.

 

I really don't want to get into any details for fear of him and any of his family snooping around here and finding me. But.... UGH, it just sucks I have no one (except my best friend) to talk to about this.

 

Any feelings that I had still lingering for him are completely GONE now, though. I f**king HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM!! I am going to do everything I possibly can to suck everything out of him. I hope he loses his house and EVERYTHING. How dare he talk to me the way he has and do what he has done. I HATE HIM and he is GOING TO PAY!!!! I know he is running around hiding assets and such now. But I am going to make sure a THOROUGH investigation is done on him. And I am going back as FAR AS I CAN in back child support. He made a HUGE mistake in insinuating I am/was a whore. Son of a :#($*(#*!!!!!!!!

 

UGGGGH!!!!! I am glad he is such an immature little moron, because this has helped me get over him completely! Now I am just full of anger, rage, resentment, and a little pain.

 

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

F**k me and my child over and I will f**k you over ten times worse. Stupid alcoholic drug addict with NO decent kind of a LIFE. I hope he kills himself when he realizes what a loser he is.

 

/vent

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Never_Again
Yikes....

Um.....so tell us how you REALLY feel......:eek:;)

 

That is exactly how I feel. I don't see my feelings changing. I played the fool so many times with him and let him manipulate me into not pursuing child support and into making me think he was in love with me and his marriage was over among MANY OTHER THINGS.

 

I have no sympathy for him and I really do hope he kills himself.

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LOVE DAISIES

NO....don;t hope he kills himself!!! How will you make him pay and

get child support if he kills himself?? Nah....hope he lives a long miserable life. That's punishment enough ;)

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Never_Again
NO....don;t hope he kills himself!!! How will you make him pay and

get child support if he kills himself?? Nah....hope he lives a long miserable life. That's punishment enough ;)

 

Haha, I didn't think of it that way. :) I can still get a dna test done with a swab of his cheek cells if he is dead so that my child will at least be entitled to some of his inheritance. ;) I do hope he lives a long miserable life... though, at his age, he doesn't have much longer to go most likely! I hope his wife is making every single day of his life a living hell.... though I know she is not. She is acting as his little cheerleader through all of this and HELPING him hide assets.

 

Thank you for putting a smile on my face, LD. :D

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Je Ne Regrette Rien

Ouch! A woman scorned...

 

Best dose of revenge for a loser like him? Watching you live the happiest most fulfilling life you can without him in it. His ego wont be able to take it.

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Never_Again
Ouch! A woman scorned...

 

Best dose of revenge for a loser like him? Watching you live the happiest most fulfilling life you can without him in it. His ego wont be able to take it.

 

That might be why he is being such a d*ck. I am sure they still spy on me through various avenues and it's very apparent how amazing I am doing in school, how great my child is, and how many people I have in my life that love and care about us. EVERYTHING in my life is going absolutely perfect, it is MUCH better and MUCH more fulfilling without him in it. Plus I am SO much younger than him and I have SO MUCH MORE going for me and my life than he ever had, he is probably jealous that I am going to have such a better life than he ever hoped to have. Especially since he is stuck in such a crappy situation now!!

 

However, when he starts emailing me and insinuating that I was sleeping around with other people when he KNEW he was the only one and he KNEW I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him then THAT is when I start to BREAK DOWN and LOSE it. UGH!!! He will realize very soon how BIG of a mistake that was. I can't wait for the paternity test to be done. Afterwards I will laugh in his face and then kick him in his balls. Maybe not the latter... though I sure would love to!

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Dear Never Again,

 

I know this isn't the time and place right now as you are stinging mad, but some advice that you might later on cherish: Take the high road.

 

You can and should go after him for support, as is to be expected. But for the rest--wishing him dead, having him unravel your emotional well being...Don't. You'll become as "ugly" as he is, inside. Do not mistake hurt ego for confidence. That can come at a terrible cost.

 

Do not get me wrong. You have every right to be upset. The "insults" that incensed you...Now, given his character, you knew that "this" was to be expected. Blah and Blah. That is him...

 

...But is not you. If, my dear, you are in school and doing well on that front and are loved, show that, live that. You want to show--yourself, before any one else--that you are superior to his type of character.

 

...And being superior means not letting his inferior ways get to you, or under your skin. No matter how mad it all makes you, let NO ONE ruffle those feathers of yours.

 

Have you ever seen an honest to goodness snob in action? I mean the type that lets no one get to them because their sense of self-value is so high? Obnoxious, sometimes, yes. However, that attitude works. There is a philosophy behind it. One that values their own life ahead of whatever this or that clown says or does to them.

 

You need to get there. You always want to take the high road. Throw a vase against the wall if you have to, but always take the high road with others--especially the ones you cannot stand.

 

If you have venom inside you, don't forget--it can and will poison you too.

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Never_Again
Dear Never Again,

 

I know this isn't the time and place right now as you are stinging mad, but some advice that you might later on cherish: Take the high road.

 

You can and should go after him for support, as is to be expected. But for the rest--wishing him dead, having him unravel your emotional well being...Don't. You'll become as "ugly" as he is, inside. Do not mistake hurt ego for confidence. That can come at a terrible cost.

 

Do not get me wrong. You have every right to be upset. The "insults" that incensed you...Now, given his character, you knew that "this" was to be expected. Blah and Blah. That is him...

 

...But is not you. If, my dear, you are in school and doing well on that front and are loved, show that, live that. You want to show--yourself, before any one else--that you are superior to his type of character.

 

...And being superior means not letting his inferior ways get to you, or under your skin. No matter how mad it all makes you, let NO ONE ruffle those feathers of yours.

 

Have you ever seen an honest to goodness snob in action? I mean the type that lets no one get to them because their sense of self-value is so high? Obnoxious, sometimes, yes. However, that attitude works. There is a philosophy behind it. One that values their own life ahead of whatever this or that clown says or does to them.

 

You need to get there. You always want to take the high road. Throw a vase against the wall if you have to, but always take the high road with others--especially the ones you cannot stand.

 

If you have venom inside you, don't forget--it can and will poison you too.

 

You are right. I truly am doing very well in all aspects of life except for my financial situation (I am a single mom with NO child support and in school every day of the week). This is the only place where I have let those feelings out. I can't HELP but feel that way because of the way he has insinuated I was sleeping around with other people JUST for the benefit of his wife (since she reads everything he sends and I send), it just irks me to no end and has lit a fire that has stayed put out for a very long time. I was just going to go after child support and be done with it, but he has to keep mentioning that this paternity test is SO important and basically calling me a WHORE and I am just so ENRAGED about that!!!!! He knows VERY WELL who I slept with during that time. It just breaks my heart, I guess.

 

Anyway, he definitely is a loser in life, though. No formal education, a series of failed jobs, drug addict, alcoholic, and the list goes on. He always gets out of everything and I am just not going to let him get away with ripping my child off. He has scared me away too long and I am ready to fight for what my child deserves.

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Dear Never Again,

 

 

You are having an entirely normal reaction. It is totally irksome to be thought of in this way...

 

However, you also must know he is doing it for a bit of "theater". If his wife is indeed reading his emails he has to ask all this garbage about paternity tests and the like to calm her down. To show that he is being oh-so "strong" and "difficult" and to accuse you of whatever he can think of..and on and on...Really, though it is tough, at the end of the day it should merit little more than an eye roller.

 

You are smart, disciplined and lovely lady, and you just have to brush this flea off your shoulder. You have the world to discover and conquer and you will. You will conquer the bills and the $ hardship. Just stay ultra focused. And I believe you have the law on your side with regard to child support.

 

Just calm cool and collected....Tell him what is owed you. Let him huff and puff. But be tenacious. (Just not "furious")

 

And in the future...Don't pair up with anyone who is not on your level. Nothing is more draining.

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Never_Again
Dear Never Again,

 

 

You are having an entirely normal reaction. It is totally irksome to be thought of in this way...

 

However, you also must know he is doing it for a bit of "theater". If his wife is indeed reading his emails he has to ask all this garbage about paternity tests and the like to calm her down. To show that he is being oh-so "strong" and "difficult" and to accuse you of whatever he can think of..and on and on...Really, though it is tough, at the end of the day it should merit little more than an eye roller.

 

You are smart, disciplined and lovely lady, and you just have to brush this flea off your shoulder. You have the world to discover and conquer and you will. You will conquer the bills and the $ hardship. Just stay ultra focused. And I believe you have the law on your side with regard to child support.

 

Just calm cool and collected....Tell him what is owed you. Let him huff and puff. But be tenacious. (Just not "furious")

 

And in the future...Don't pair up with anyone who is not on your level. Nothing is more draining.

 

Thank you so much, Dominique. I usually think with a clear head, but I just let him get to me and I definitely shouldn't have. Thank you for bringing me back down to earth. :) I will do exactly as you said, be cool and calm, like I have been about this situation since I began speaking with lawyers and other officials in the last few months. My child will definitely get what is due. The law and myself will make sure of it.

 

I know a lot of what he is doing with the whole being demanding of a paternity test is definitely theatrics. We talked a LOT last year and he told me several times he had no doubt our child was his and he just thought I should do the test to appease his wife, which I had NO problem doing since there is not a doubt in my mind who my child's father is. I have only slept with one person in several years, it's a no-brainer. It just sucks that he is doing this.... he does so much to appease her and doesn't give two sh*ts about what I have been through (emotionally, psychologically, and financially) because of him. I would venture to say that I have been more damaged than her because she has him around to lie and manipulate her into believing he is this awesome, changed guy and I am just a liar. While I sit over here, knowing the truth about everything, going crazy because he has done nothing to support his child... NOTHING!

 

The anger and rage is subsiding now. I have a life that I have to live (lots of school work, a child to love, and a friend's child that I am babysitting) and it's definitely a distraction from these wretched thoughts. The Chinese food that I just ordered (along with lots of chocolate chip cookies!) will probably help, too. :)

 

Thank you again for your encouraging words, they really did help to get me out of that rotten funk I have been in lately because of him... especially since his most recent correspondence with me.

 

Wish me luck! :D

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Let's have a reality check.

 

You have no one to blame but yourself. No one point a gun to your head forcing you to have unpretected sex with him while he was married, a drug user and as you called it, a loser. You have chosen to be involved with him and have his child. If he is low(I am not saying he is), you're as low as him.

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Never_Again
Let's have a reality check.

 

You have no one to blame but yourself. No one point a gun to your head forcing you to have unpretected sex with him while he was married, a drug user and as you called it, a loser. You have chosen to be involved with him and have his child. If he is low(I am not saying he is), you're as low as him.

 

Oh shut up, you don't even know half of the story so don't go around giving people "reality checks" on someone else's reality that you know nothing about.

 

I had severe gynecological problems several years ago and my doctor told me I would never be able to have children, so excuse me for being lax on birth control.. especially with the man I thought I was going to be with forever. Additionally, he could have very easily put a condom on. There were times when he would have them but didn't want to use them! What does THAT say about HIM???

 

He also lied to me immensely about their marriage. No, I did not see divorce papers, but he told me he was in the process of a divorce, whine whine whine, cry cry cry. He gave me some serious sob stories that I, naively, believed. So shoot me for being young, in love, and stupid.

 

He is low. I am not. I have done things that I regret, sure. But who hasn't? He who is without sin should cast the first stone. I highly doubt you are without sin so you have no business to be casting any stones. Thanks.

 

ETA: And of course I am saying some mean things about him, he isn't exactly a good person but he is not a serial killer or anything, my wounds are still very fresh so of course I am going to be angry and defensive right now. And I have virtually nowhere else to vent, so it's all here.

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I highly doubt you are without sin so you have no business to be casting any stones. Thanks.

 

 

I stole a coockie from a jar, but, NO, I didn't have an affair with someone who's married, because that would be immoral, wrong, sinful, nasty, shameful, etc. In other words, I ain't low. :D

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Never_Again
I stole a coockie from a jar, but, NO, I didn't have an affair with someone who's married, because that would be immoral, wrong, sinful, nasty, shameful, etc. In other words, I ain't low. :D

 

You "ain't" low? Sure. I highly doubt the worst thing you have done is "steal a cookie from a jar." I didn't KNOWINGLY have an affair with him! I was being lied to! Did you catch that bit? I could go on and on and tell you all the wonderful things I have done/am doing with my life that make me a great person in my loved one's eyes, but you would just cast all that aside and look at the fact that I have a child with someone who is, VERY SURPRISINGLY TO ME, still married.

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LakesideDream

 

Anyway, he definitely is a loser in life, though. No formal education, a series of failed jobs, drug addict, alcoholic, and the list goes on. He always gets out of everything and I am just not going to let him get away with ripping my child off. He has scared me away too long and I am ready to fight for what my child deserves.

 

 

That's quite a list of negetives. Why exactly did you choose to be his squeeze on the side? Did he blackmail you? Or.. hire penguins to hypnotize you?

 

Be careful what you wish for. With paternity and child support comes contact and visitation. If it proves out your child is owed child support, get it. But.. remember it's for the child. Don't try and get emotionally "even" by getting the child support and spending it on yourself.

 

It still takes two in most cases. Presumably you chose the guy, you laid with him and made a child. You share the responsibility.

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Never_Again
That's quite a list of negetives. Why exactly did you choose to be his squeeze on the side? Did he blackmail you? Or.. hire penguins to hypnotize you?

 

Be careful what you wish for. With paternity and child support comes contact and visitation. If it proves out your child is owed child support, get it. But.. remember it's for the child. Don't try and get emotionally "even" by getting the child support and spending it on yourself.

 

It still takes two in most cases. Presumably you chose the guy, you laid with him and made a child. You share the responsibility.

 

Honey, do you realize how much debt I have gotten into by paying for EVERYTHING on my own without any help? I have kept him out of the picture for two reasons: 1.) The things I found out about him after I "laid with him" make him an unfit father and 2.) I do NOT want any contact with him. The most he is going to get with his track record is limited or supervised visitation. I am CERTAINLY not trying to get "emotionally even" by going after him for child support. That is absolutely outrageous that you would even suggest it. Spend it on myself? I rarely have ANYTHING for myself now that I am a mother, all the money that I have goes directly to my child!!!

 

I share partial responsibility in getting pregnant, but I think he is more responsible because he is the one that didn't wear a condom even when he had one. AND I was told I would never be able to have kids! I definitely wasn't trying to or even THINKING I would have one!

 

And I didn't choose to be his "squeeze on the side." Did you read ANYTHING I wrote previously? I was deceived into thinking he was in the process of a divorce, and was young and naive enough to not ask to see papers! Lesson learned, TRUST ME!!!! I did NOT intentionally get involved with a MM.

 

Oh wait, yeah, never mind, penguins hypnotized me. :rolleyes: That wasn't even funny, just fatuous.

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noforgiveness

:laugh::laugh:You tell him you can not have children according to your doctor but he is MORE responsible then you for getting YOU pregnant. If you weren't the perfect other woman for him. YOUNG beautiful girl that can not trick him with a pregnancy because she has a doctors excuse and lo and behold you are pregnant but hey it's more his fault.

 

First of all he was married so you know he was sleeping with his wife so you not only had sex with him but his wife and since you think they had such a horrible relationship you had sex with whoever his wife did. Why on earth would you have unprotected sex. Have you ever heard of std's?

 

You could be making a huge mistake going after him for child support. Judges do not look highly on young beautiful women who get pregnant by older financially stable married men. His wife and him can try to prove you unfit especially if they see you wish him DEAD and they can go for full custody of HIS child. Be careful what you wish for.

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Never_Again
:laugh::laugh:You tell him you can not have children according to your doctor but he is MORE responsible then you for getting YOU pregnant. If you weren't the perfect other woman for him. YOUNG beautiful girl that can not trick him with a pregnancy because she has a doctors excuse and lo and behold you are pregnant but hey it's more his fault.

 

First of all he was married so you know he was sleeping with his wife so you not only had sex with him but his wife and since you think they had such a horrible relationship you had sex with whoever his wife did. Why on earth would you have unprotected sex. Have you ever heard of std's?

 

You could be making a huge mistake going after him for child support. Judges do not look highly on young beautiful women who get pregnant by older financially stable married men. His wife and him can try to prove you unfit especially if they see you wish him DEAD and they can go for full custody of HIS child. Be careful what you wish for.

 

SHE wasn't a horrible person. I have NO DOUBT in my mind that she was faithful to him. You are right about the std's, though. I should have made him wear a condom for that fact alone. But I truly didn't think he was a womanizer when I fell in love with him and was seeing him.

 

I have talked to a judge, honey. I have talked to several lawyers as well. I will have absolutely NO PROBLEM obtaining legal sole custody of my child. There are many factors that contribute to this.

 

I don't TRULY wish him dead, I was just very angry at the moment. Additionally, this is the ONLY place I have ever made such a rash statement, so there is not any proof that I actually said that. AND many people say things they do not truly mean in the heat of the moment.

 

There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY a judge would give him and his wife custody of my child because of MANY different factors that I am not willing to discuss on here. I am a VERY successful mother and my child is living in a VERY stable home. It is definitely 110% in my child's best interests to stay with me. No worries there.

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Never_Again

 

You could be making a huge mistake going after him for child support. Judges do not look highly on young beautiful women who get pregnant by older financially stable married men.

 

And why would you discourage someone from going after child support for their fatherless son? Every child deserves to be taken care of financially. No matter what the circumstances are.

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noforgiveness
And why would you discourage someone from going after child support for their fatherless son? Every child deserves to be taken care of financially. No matter what the circumstances are.

 

I agree you should absolutely go after him for child support but anger is not the way to do it. You have stated how well you are doing for yourself so the question is do you really want this man and his wife having visitation of your child? Do you really want them to be a part of your life? When you are done school you will not need his money for your child. Is the short term need now worth the next 18 years of him in your life?

 

You told this man you were incapable of having a child as told BY A DOCTOR. Can you go after the doctor who caused you not to use birth control? Can he try to prove in court you lied about your fertility and trapped you?

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I stole a coockie from a jar, but, NO, I didn't have an affair with someone who's married, because that would be immoral, wrong, sinful, nasty, shameful, etc. In other words, I ain't low. :D

 

You are low! You cast stones without the full picture. Who do you think you are, God?

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I get that you are angry, but I am not sure about what.

 

Are you upset that he mentioned a paternity test? If so, you will have to do that regardless. The courts aren't going to award CS only on a physical likeness or your word that its his child.

 

I'm glad that Dominique was able to calm you down some. You don't need this stress with a toddler. They only push you further to your limit not knowing what's going on with mom. Relax and enjoy your son.

 

Go after CS, but don't show up at court the scorned woman who participated in an A and didn't end up with the man (I mean you no disrepsect), the courts see that way too often and it works against you and your child.

 

Emphasize the positive about your life and why you now feel the need to get support. State it as "I am in school and I am bettering my life for our child. I want to be able to provide more for him with his father's help", not the usual "he this, and he that, and he this that and the other". Because the courts are only going to see you as blaming him (and you already have) when it takes two (regardless of the lies stated).

 

He isn't more at fault for getting you pregnant. Even when doctors say a woman can't get pregnant, as long as you still have a cycle, a uterus, and ovaries - believe me, anything is possible.

 

Good luck, though.

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