shattered

[shatteredesteem]

I'm new here in on this board and like everybody else i've been reading all the previous posts,like everbody else i've been the ow and like everybody else I came here for some support and advice. My story is not as different as anybody else here on this forum although there is just some situation were mine is unique.First I'd like to share something about myself, I'm 32 years old I came from a decent catholic family, I'm the youngest of four girls all.MY sisters are all happily married with kids, I'm the only one who's not married

.Well anyways I've been working in a company where my dad use to own he sold it about 15 years ago, but nobody lost their jobs my dad made sure of it.Well i've been working there since i was 16 whenever i'm not in school and when i graduated college I became full time.So everybody in that company was basically family to me and me to them, so 70 % of the employees hangs out with my family including my boss who my parents considers as the son they never had. I considered my boss as a family and a friend, he's married with two kids and we know his whole family pretty well.When I was younger and spends a lot of time with his family I used to introduce him as my older brother to my friends in highschool and college.The two of us used to goof around all the time when i was young he considered me as a sister he never had. He was always very protective and when i'm in trouble with my parents he's always the one I can count on to bail me out.He got married when I was 19 and I was one of the bridesmaid, he's 45 now.

Well, fastforward to the future, three years ago he was having trouble with his marriage the wife cheated and since i work with him i'm always the one he talk to about it and I have my own house so he was always there drinking, venting and passing out and ends up staying in my house sometimes for days.He was in a pretty bad shape, he was blaming himself his self esteem were in an all time low so I try to boost him up. It was months before he could pick himself up with my help and among other people. He was living on his own for about a year.

After being on his own for a year we found ourselves hanging out alot with each other not at work sometimes in my house sometimes in his.Guess what I fell in love. I know he wasnt divorce he was just seperated, he loved his family his kids. He never said anything bad about his wife. So I found myself in a secret affair with him for two years. Secret meaning no one knew not my family and not at work. I was always the one that made sure that no one knew I was scared of the consequences, my family and my second family which is at work.People at work respected and admired the two of us. I could tell it was hard on him especially when we're at work. We dont have lunch together, we dont buy each other coffee, we dont go home together.

Four months ago everything changed company hired a new female accountant(married with two kids). The two of them started going out for lunch together buying each other coffee buying each other gifts. I started to see less and less of him at work and outside work. The woman is very open about her attraction towards him at work and he seems to be enjoying the attentions as well.I confronted him about it but denied it ofcourse but his actions doesnt match his words. I walked away and he noticed so without verbally saying anything to each other we both walked out on our affair. To this day we never talked about what went on between us for two years. I still see him at work and at family functions.Now he's in full blown affair with her and everybody knows about it.

 

Now it's my self esteem that is at an all time low.

[MimiMe]

Consider yourself as the one that got away!

Sorry that you are feeling this bad but dont be so hard on yourself.

It's going to hurt you since you have feelings for the guy, but obviously he was fishing till he caught and this had nothing to do with your worth.