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.... I want to date the guys wife that had affair with my wife


guitarman7895

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guitarman7895

Need some advice. Here is the story in a nutshell. I discovered that my wife was having an affair with a guy that I know. He left his wife, a wonderful woman, and 3 kids...great kids...my kids play with hers. Over the coarse of time her and I have talked on the phone and tried to support each other...since we are going through the same hell. We have both come to the conclusion that since our "ex's" have left and are now living with each other...there is no way in HADES that we would ever take them back.... We have, and not intentionally, bonded...now I grown to really enjoy her company and I know she does too. Our divorces will be final in about a month.

 

Any problems with dating her? She is a wonderful person and we are both compatable in so many ways......

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Need some advice. Here is the story in a nutshell. I discovered that my wife was having an affair with a guy that I know. He left his wife, a wonderful woman, and 3 kids...great kids...my kids play with hers. Over the coarse of time her and I have talked on the phone and tried to support each other...since we are going through the same hell. We have both come to the conclusion that since our "ex's" have left and are now living with each other...there is no way in HADES that we would ever take them back.... We have, and not intentionally, bonded...now I grown to really enjoy her company and I know she does too. Our divorces will be final in about a month.

 

Any problems with dating her? She is a wonderful person and we are both compatable in so many ways......

 

Gman, if she's willing and you're willing, why not? But remember, people often bond through trauma - survivors of a hijacking, a plane crash, etc, because of the intensity of what they've shared. They then find out once the rush passes that normal life is an anti-climax, and they drift apart. That's not a problem, if it happens simultaneously for both people, but it seldom does. Normally one is left with the intense desire for closeness while the other has moved on. If that's a risk you're both prepared to take, cool. Little in life happens unless we take risks. But just be aware that happy endings are not guaranteed.

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You are just now getting your divorces, which were the fallout of infidelity. Perhaps you need to take some time getting your head clear on your own before entering into anther relationship so quickly, especially a relationship that is a constant and direct reminder of your wife's infidelity (and her husband's infidelity).

 

You want to make sure both of you are whole and healthy and getting into this relationship for the right reasons and not because you are clinging to each other for commiseration.

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Need some advice. Here is the story in a nutshell. I discovered that my wife was having an affair with a guy that I know. He left his wife, a wonderful woman, and 3 kids...great kids...my kids play with hers. Over the coarse of time her and I have talked on the phone and tried to support each other...since we are going through the same hell. We have both come to the conclusion that since our "ex's" have left and are now living with each other...there is no way in HADES that we would ever take them back.... We have, and not intentionally, bonded...now I grown to really enjoy her company and I know she does too. Our divorces will be final in about a month.

 

Any problems with dating her? She is a wonderful person and we are both compatable in so many ways......

 

Of course.. date her... she's nice... you like each other.. I see nothing wrong.

 

Good luck!

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Go for it! Once you're both free to see other people there is no problem. No relationship comes without risk. Just enjoy your time together! If it doesn't work out, you've lost nothing. Always better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done!

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I have to agree w/ jane on this one.

 

When my H had an A w/ M co-worker her own H came to my house several times to talk about the D. He was a nice guy but he was 10 years younger than me (and also the OW). H told me after they ended their R that him and the OW thought we would up together and they had a good laugh over that one. The OW would have thought it was actually funny if we would have ended up together. She was only M to him 8 months but I believed they lived together for a year or two. They only got M b/c she became PG. I would have never dated him b/c it would have just kept the A fresh in my memory, no thanks. It may work for you and if you do decide to date good luck and be happy!

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U definatly need time for yourself. U need to be alone for awhile to figure out who u are .

U don't NEED anyone.

Give it a rest. I wished I had

After awhile u will meet someone new that u can start with on a clean slate.Go to church!

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Chrome Barracuda

Wow can you just imagine if the OM/OW came to pick up their kids and they open the door!!!

 

Surprise I'm banging your ex and the sex is off the hook!!!

 

lol.

 

It might work, it might not.

 

I want to know what happened to your kids? Who has custody, who pays child support?

 

I mean if you got custody of your kids and they know of their moms' affair?

 

I mean give me more backstory and aftermath.

 

What's going on now?

 

I dont know, if anything you guys could just be friends, if she's cool with it, have sex once and a while. But nothing serious until everything is smooth with everyone.

 

You dont want to make more of a mess than things already are.

 

Imagine what the kids will think.

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If you consider the emotional state you're both in right now, how do you suppose this will turn out? Walk...no...run away from this little drama.

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I have friends that this happened to. They have been together (BS and BS) for over 20 years!! And I might add they are very happy. ;)

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Yes why not, if you guy like each other and SINCE your ex's ditched the both of you for each other. This would also be very fitting justice IMO, and a good payback. Just make sure you really want to get involved with her, and it's not just some "cool idea".

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White Flower

It might even be good for the kids--confusing, lol--but good. All the step-parents involved would have the children's best interests at heart.

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Citizen Erased

As long as you aren't doing it to get back at your ex, then I say make sure she is in the same place as you are, and take it really slow.

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