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Wh does ignoring drive them crazy?


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Old 18th September 2007, 6:33 PM   #1
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Wh does ignoring drive them crazy?

I was just wondering why mm of some types absolutely go crazy when you ignore them? I saw mine yesterday and competely ignored him no reaction . I was like a statue while he walked by me.

After that he sat outside like he was devastated and couldn't believe I was not getting into with him as I have done in past. Is is because they know it is over or because you are not putting up with their bull?
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Old 18th September 2007, 6:38 PM   #2
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You punched him in the ego!
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Old 18th September 2007, 7:46 PM   #3
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Big time Ego Crush! Keep it up FF! Let his Ego suffer he's put you through enough C***! Stay Strong!

AP
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Old 19th September 2007, 5:16 PM   #4
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Today is a tough day. I don't know why. I miss talking to him, even though I do not want to break NC. I feel like I wasted almost two years of my life and for what some mediocre sex and a guy who does not give a rats a.... about me. I keep thinking he will change and fight for me, but I know there is no shot in hell.

It would of been easier if he would of told me in the beginning I just want sex and do not want anything else. It would of saved us alot of time and heartache.

I have to see him today and I am not as a strong as I was the other day. I am just sad and tired!!!
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Old 19th September 2007, 5:19 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forbidden fruit View Post
I was just wondering why mm of some types absolutely go crazy when you ignore them? I saw mine yesterday and competely ignored him no reaction . I was like a statue while he walked by me.

After that he sat outside like he was devastated and couldn't believe I was not getting into with him as I have done in past. Is is because they know it is over or because you are not putting up with their bull?
Easy, if you're not falling all over him then he has no use for you, that's why he has an OW.

If he wanted to be ignored he wouldn't cheat on his wife!
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Old 19th September 2007, 5:27 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by forbidden fruit View Post
I was just wondering why mm of some types absolutely go crazy when you ignore them? I saw mine yesterday and competely ignored him no reaction . I was like a statue while he walked by me.

After that he sat outside like he was devastated and couldn't believe I was not getting into with him as I have done in past. Is is because they know it is over or because you are not putting up with their bull?

FF,
Because you are reminding him of his wife who ignores him.
TF
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Old 19th September 2007, 5:30 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by forbidden fruit View Post
I was just wondering why mm of some types absolutely go crazy when you ignore them?
Because they aren't getting their easy lay on the side.

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After that he sat outside like he was devastated and couldn't believe I was not getting into with him as I have done in past. Is is because they know it is over or because you are not putting up with their bull?
Putting up with their bull? He's married...you should have known he was full of bull in the first place to be cheating on his wife.
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Old 19th September 2007, 6:10 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by forbidden fruit View Post
Today is a tough day. I don't know why. I miss talking to him, even though I do not want to break NC. I feel like I wasted almost two years of my life and for what some mediocre sex and a guy who does not give a rats a.... about me. I keep thinking he will change and fight for me, but I know there is no shot in hell.

It would of been easier if he would of told me in the beginning I just want sex and do not want anything else. It would of saved us alot of time and heartache.

I have to see him today and I am not as a strong as I was the other day. I am just sad and tired!!!
FF, If today is a tough day for you, it's time to keep busy. Get out of the neigborhood and do soemthing fun, just for you! Would it really have been easier if he just wanted sex? I don't believe that. Sex or NO sex the situation is just plain difficult! Do you really expect him to change and come your way? Your mm won't do that because he's the kind of guy who desires the best of both world's "A home cooked meal from the W and then there's you FF a hot apple pie for dessert! Don't let him bring you down girl, your better than him!!!! Hug's hug's and more hug's!

AP
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Old 21st September 2007, 12:22 PM   #9
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I feel for you ff, and totally empathise - especially when you said this:

"It would of been easier if he would of told me in the beginning I just want sex and do not want anything else. It would of saved us alot of time and heartache."

The same happened to me - he led me to believe that he'd fallen in love with me.....wish I could do the NC thing even though I know how difficult it must be. He's like an addiction and I can't break it at the moment.

xxx
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Old 21st September 2007, 4:18 PM   #10
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I know it is really like a addiction and boy am I going through withdrawls. I keep waiting for him to call me to say he screwed up and he loves and everything will be okay,but that is never ,ever,ever going to happen. So I guess I am dealing with the finality of it all which I am imposed. I am not sure what I should feeling now!!1
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Old 21st September 2007, 6:37 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by forbidden fruit View Post
I know it is really like a addiction and boy am I going through withdrawls. I keep waiting for him to call me to say he screwed up and he loves and everything will be okay,but that is never ,ever,ever going to happen. So I guess I am dealing with the finality of it all which I am imposed. I am not sure what I should feeling now!!1
FF, Now listen to me Please, withdrawl is normal, it will end!! You need to stick with NC, That mean's NO CONTACT!!! That's the way I got over the withdrawl from mm neighbor! Now if I can do it so can you!! Finality is tough. Cry, rant, run around your house when in private and SCREAM, but do not give in and call this creep and he is a CREEP FF!! If he comes around you walk away your still married FF and you need to figure out thing's with H and not invlove yourself with this mm. NC girl NC!!!!!!!!

AP
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Old 21st September 2007, 8:47 PM   #12
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I know I should not care , but I still do. Today I went to pick up kids from school. i asked his chid if she was taking the bus and she replied no my Daddy told me he does not want to see you and he does not want me to see you so he is picking me up over there so he does not have to see you WTF-is he being spiteful.

I don't know how I expected him to handle my NC but he is being so immature and involving his kids.
I have not told my kids not to talk to him I am just keeping my distance. Is this a trick to get arise out of me or is he truly honoring my NC? I am just so hurt that just last week we were so close and now this-he really hates me!!! I am still sticking to NC,but I want to tell him off so badly.

How sad he cannot see this for what it is . Is he mad because he wanted FWB and I said no or his ego so bruised because I am the first gal to actually stand up to him?
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Old 21st September 2007, 9:41 PM   #13
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FF, Now listen to me Please, withdrawl is normal, it will end!! You need to stick with NC, That mean's NO CONTACT!!! AP

She is so right. You can only get through this with no contact. I have been working on this diligently for a few months now. I have not sent any texts and made no calls.

My situation is a little different because I found out (by accident) that he had another OW. What a fool I was. I believed the lies for a bit, but I figured was never anyone special to him and never would be. No one will. I cut off all contact even though I thought my life was over.

I have run into he and W a few times at wedding receptions and a birthday party. I hold my head up and try to live well. It's much easier today. He approached me at these functions and I have not given him the time of day. I have received texts and I don't answer them. You can do it too. The more you do it the easier it get. I feel empowered by not giving him the time of day. I know I deserve better than this and so do you. Remember not to let youself be anyone's option. You deserve to be someone's priority.

Big hugs-it will get easier!!
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Old 22nd September 2007, 12:06 AM   #14
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Help WWiu I want to contact and scream at him for using his kid to relay his childish message. I really want him to suffer for the two years of pain I have been in and i no I have ha choice and did not do anything about it, but if you love someone like he says he does how can he treat me this way and how come it is easy to move on?
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Old 22nd September 2007, 12:32 AM   #15
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Stop and take a deep breath...This will pass. Whatever you do, don't call him or try to talk to him.

Keep focussed on what's really important. Your own children, your husband - aka your family...At the end of the day the exMM doesn't matter.

FF, you gotta do some yoga and meditation, learn how to control those thoughts and let them go...All that resentment, bitterness, the pain - ALL of it, has to disappear.

This weekend I really want you to focus on the kids. Do stuff with them, focus ONLY on them. Not you, what you're feeling, not the exMM, not even your husband. Just the kids. See them for what they bring into your life...All that love, energy and positive feelings they bring out in you - THAT is what counts. Making a loving and stable home for your kids...

I think you focussing and remembering him telling you he loves you, the way he treated you, is going backwards, not forwards. It all still comes down to - He is married and you are married - What happened should not have happened, it's over and neither of you are going to leave your spouses for eachother so going around in circles, wondering this and that is only going to drive you crazy. Which is why the meditation, and yoga will atleast help you focus on letting go...Letting go of those obsessive thoughts about him, what he is thinking and why.

I hope this makes sense.

Try to get some rest tonight and put the worrisome thoughts out of your head for a little while.
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