ahotmess Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I have had virtually NC with my MM since february. His wife found out and filed for a divorce....sadly he decided (without any form of explaination) to drop me as well. We have exchanged emails like maybe twice...but both were very impersonal. If I thought the A was hard...it's even harder when the M is over and he doesn't contact you. Oh, and then you find out he is "dating" someone else from his exW and it is confirmed by co-workers. What on earth? But I'm determined to utilize this awful experience as a learning tool for my life. The past month has been really wonderful. I've even been emailing the ex-W on a somewhat regular basis and we are helping eachother through this...it is ironic I know. I love the threads about music lyrics because music has been a HUGE help for me. Alot of songs make me cry....I mean used to make me cry. This song has become sort of a new Motto for me...it is beautiful and truer words were never spoken. JEWEL LYRICS "Goodbye Alice In Wonderland" [Verse 1:] It's four in the afternoon I'm on a flight leaving L.A. Trying to think about my life My youth scattered along the highway Hotel rooms and headlights I've made a living with a song Guitar as my companion Wanting desperately to belong Fame is filled with spoiled children We grow fat on fantasy I guess that's why I'm leaving I crave reality [Chorus 1:] So goodbye Alice in Wonderland Goodbye yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending I did not find paradise It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting What's been missing in my life [Verse 2:] I'm embarassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliche I hit the bottom when I reached the top But I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart I thought you had to love me But you did not Yes a heart can hallucinate If it's completely starved for love It can even turn monsters into Angels from above You forged my love just like a weapon And you turned it against me like a knife You broke my last heartstring You opened up my eyes [Chorus 2:] So goodbye Alice in Wonderland Goodbye yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending That was not love in your eyes It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching what was missing in my life [bridge:] Growing up is not an absence of dreaming It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold And the ones that you've been sold And Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie Forgetting what you are Seeing for what you've been told [Verse 3:] Ohh truth is stranger than fiction This is my chance to get it right And life is much better without all of those pretty lies [Chorus 3:] Ohh So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland And you can keep your yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending These are not tears in my eyes They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding I found what's missing in my life Link to post Share on other sites
IWALH Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Wow, I really like that song. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahotmess Posted July 23, 2007 Author Share Posted July 23, 2007 Me Too! Life really is much better without all of those pretty lies! Was our love real? Yes. But it was dysfunctional. I guess it does work for some people...just not us. I am feeling sooo liberated lately. Three years....of pain, heartache and tears....read my thread "Great Article" it's a good one to. Helps out with the whole self esteem thing too! Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Jeez AHotMess, that must hurt like hell! I can't imagine how devastated I would be if exMM divorced and started seeing someone else. I can handle the fact that he is with his W - that was pretty inevitable - but an OOW, wow! Keep listening to those inspiring songs! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahotmess Posted July 23, 2007 Author Share Posted July 23, 2007 PoshPrincess- You're right...it did hurt pretty bad...but luckily enough our R had been over (my choice) for 4 months before the W found out. The whole thing has been so emotionally exhausting that I have decided to stop trying to figure out the reasons why or how things ended up they way they did. In fact the emotional stress is really what made me stop seeing him in the first place. But I'm honest in saying that sometimes when a friennd mentions they saw him or something...my heart stops or feels like it is on fire or something. Those songs no longer make me cry. And for the first time since all of this I feel like I am living my life for me again! It is wonderful and was a really hard journey. I think it's important to talk about this on this forum though. LS helped me so much during the A. Link to post Share on other sites
child_of_isis Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 It sounds as if you were an exit affair. If I thought the A was hard...it's even harder when the M is over and he doesn't contact you. Oh, and then you find out he is "dating" someone else from his exW and it is confirmed by co-workers. What on earth? Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I have had virtually NC with my MM since february. His wife found out and filed for a divorce....sadly he decided (without any form of explaination) to drop me as well. We have exchanged emails like maybe twice...but both were very impersonal. If I thought the A was hard...it's even harder when the M is over and he doesn't contact you. Oh, and then you find out he is "dating" someone else from his exW and it is confirmed by co-workers. What on earth? But I'm determined to utilize this awful experience as a learning tool for my life. The past month has been really wonderful. I've even been emailing the ex-W on a somewhat regular basis and we are helping eachother through this...it is ironic I know. I love the threads about music lyrics because music has been a HUGE help for me. Alot of songs make me cry....I mean used to make me cry. This song has become sort of a new Motto for me...it is beautiful and truer words were never spoken. JEWEL LYRICS "Goodbye Alice In Wonderland" [Verse 1:] It's four in the afternoon I'm on a flight leaving L.A. Trying to think about my life My youth scattered along the highway Hotel rooms and headlights I've made a living with a song Guitar as my companion Wanting desperately to belong Fame is filled with spoiled children We grow fat on fantasy I guess that's why I'm leaving I crave reality [Chorus 1:] So goodbye Alice in Wonderland Goodbye yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending I did not find paradise It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting What's been missing in my life [Verse 2:] I'm embarassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliche I hit the bottom when I reached the top But I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart I thought you had to love me But you did not Yes a heart can hallucinate If it's completely starved for love It can even turn monsters into Angels from above You forged my love just like a weapon And you turned it against me like a knife You broke my last heartstring You opened up my eyes [Chorus 2:] So goodbye Alice in Wonderland Goodbye yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending That was not love in your eyes It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching what was missing in my life [bridge:] Growing up is not an absence of dreaming It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold And the ones that you've been sold And Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie Forgetting what you are Seeing for what you've been told [Verse 3:] Ohh truth is stranger than fiction This is my chance to get it right And life is much better without all of those pretty lies [Chorus 3:] Ohh So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland And you can keep your yellow brick road There is a difference between dreaming and pretending These are not tears in my eyes They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding I found what's missing in my life Yes that's a great song! I happen to find anything by Jewel very comforting and reflective. Infact my Avatar is that of Jewel! Here's one of my Fav's by her, Love this song! I feel for you ahotmess! Your situation sound's so awful. however, you sound like a strong person. I wish you the best! Hug's. AP:) Wild Horses (Rolling Stones Cover) Lyrics Artist(Band):Jewel Childhood living, is easy to do The things you wanted, I bought them for you Graceless lady, you know who I am You know I can't let you, slide through my hands Wild horses, couldn't drag me away Wild horses, couldn't drag me away I watched you suffer, a dull aching pain Now you decided, to show me the same No sweeping exits, or offstage lines Could make me feel bitter, or treat you unkind Wild horses, couldn't drag me away Wild horses, couldn't drag me away I know I dreamed you, it's a sin and it's a lie I have my freedom, but I don't have much time Faith has been broken, tears must be cried Let's do some living, after we die Wild horses, couldn't drag me away Wild horses, couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahotmess Posted July 23, 2007 Author Share Posted July 23, 2007 Thanks AP! I too love Jewel and listen to her music often. I also love the song "Grey Matter". It is very relevant to the A also. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts