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MM, W, his kids, OW & the concert


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TogetherForever

A friend of mine is having trouble with this one. Her mm, w & kids are going to a concert. My friend will be there also.

She's got tix 2 rows behind her mm & his w & kids.

Friend is a mess & I'm having trouble getting her calmed down.

Help!

Thanks,

TF

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whichwayisup

I agree with Tink.

 

Your friend needs to deal with the fact her MM is MARRIED and has a wife, has children. Sorry to sound harsh, but since she is involved with a married person, and wants to be the OW in his life, she's got to accept that he has a life already built with someone else, his wife. That she isn't the 'main' woman in his life....

 

Maybe you should encourage your friend to end it with him because if she stays as the OW, her self worth will lessen and she'll be in alot of pain for a long time.

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TogetherForever
I agree with Tink.

 

Your friend needs to deal with the fact her MM is MARRIED and has a wife, has children. Sorry to sound harsh, but since she is involved with a married person, and wants to be the OW in his life, she's got to accept that he has a life already built with someone else, his wife. That she isn't the 'main' woman in his life....

 

 

 

Maybe you should encourage your friend to end it with him because if she stays as the OW, her self worth will lessen and she'll be in alot of pain for a long time.

 

 

I've suggested that a long, long time ago. It's not an option for her. His w called her & asked her to let her have her H back for the sake of the kids. So that's where they stand.

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whichwayisup

Well then, your friend is up for a big reality check at that concert. Once she sees him with his wife and kids, maybe she'll realize that she has NO business having an affair with him. If she goes, she also better be prepared for MM to IGNORE her completely as he isn't going to 'hang out' with her with his family right there.

 

Anyway, your friend is bringing all this on herself. Maybe one day she'll wake up and get out of the affair.

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IfWishesWereHorses

I believe if your friend and her MM have a decent bone in their body that they will work together to avoid the W having to see the OW at social functions. I a little confused, the W asked your friend to let her H come back for the kids. Did she agree to the A continuing, or ask that it stop? Did the friend agree to stop the A or just to share MM with W?

 

Ofcourse she's flipping over the concert, she and MM really need to work out a way to avoid places that they all 3 will be. Either she goes no where he will be with his wife or they agree to take turns going to places where the three of them will have to interact.

 

Another option for her if the concert is large, is to find someone with seats well away from them that would be willing to trade for better seats.

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How does one get through a concert where persons that they will be uncomfortable around will also be present? Don't go. How is that changing the subject?

 

Why is she suddenly uncomfortable going? It wasn't an issue when she purchased the tickets. Why now? And you said "tickets" not "ticket". Was she planning on taking someone else with her? Can she still not do that? Or is she going to be overwhelmed with jealousy and envy at MM's W and kids since she isn't going to be on his arm? Not ragging, I'm serious. It just seemed she didn't think of that when she purchased the ticket/s.

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TogetherForever
I believe if your friend and her MM have a decent bone in their body that they will work together to avoid the W having to see the OW at social functions. I a little confused, the W asked your friend to let her H come back for the kids. Did she agree to the A continuing, or ask that it stop? Did the friend agree to stop the A or just to share MM with W?

 

Ofcourse she's flipping over the concert, she and MM really need to work out a way to avoid places that they all 3 will be. Either she goes no where he will be with his wife or they agree to take turns going to places where the three of them will have to interact.

 

Another option for her if the concert is large, is to find someone with seats well away from them that would be willing to trade for better seats.

 

 

I'll suggest that too her about moving her seats.

Thanks.

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TogetherForever
How does one get through a concert where persons that they will be uncomfortable around will also be present? Don't go. How is that changing the subject?

 

Why is she suddenly uncomfortable going? It wasn't an issue when she purchased the tickets. Why now? And you said "tickets" not "ticket". Was she planning on taking someone else with her? Can she still not do that? Or is she going to be overwhelmed with jealousy and envy at MM's W and kids since she isn't going to be on his arm? Not ragging, I'm serious. It just seemed she didn't think of that when she purchased the ticket/s.

 

 

She bought the tix first. Yes ticket"s". She's going with friends.

It'll kill him to see her there & not be able to interact with her.

I hope his stomach hurts by the site of seeing her there. He'll be miserable there. Ha

Too bad. He should be going with the one he really loves.

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precious1357

The visual realization of the MM's wife and kids is a killer! The MM I have been dealing with is taking a 13 day cruise with his wife and would like me

to believe that they will not have any physical relationship. He is only going

out of "obligation" because his friend asked him to accompany him and his wife. Well, that reality check prompted me to end ALL CONTACT with him, my heart is breaking and I'm real sad but I CANNOT and will not put myself through this continued misery. Just leave him alone!

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TogetherForever
The visual realization of the MM's wife and kids is a killer! The MM I have been dealing with is taking a 13 day cruise with his wife and would like me

to believe that they will not have any physical relationship. He is only going

out of "obligation" because his friend asked him to accompany him and his wife. Well, that reality check prompted me to end ALL CONTACT with him, my heart is breaking and I'm real sad but I CANNOT and will not put myself through this continued misery. Just leave him alone!

 

 

She's choosing to stick it out with the hope of a happy ending. Like I did.

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She bought the tix first. Yes ticket"s". She's going with friends.

 

Then, yeah, maybe you jumped the gun in posting this thread as there doesn't seem to be a real problem. She's going with friends.

 

 

It'll kill him to see her there & not be able to interact with her.

 

Doubt that very seriously. Given that his W knows that there is some woman out there that was seeing her H and not knowing if she truly left him alone or not, he'll be sh*tting bricks for sure.

 

 

I hope his stomach hurts by the site of seeing her there. He'll be miserable there. Ha

 

That is usually what happens as the bricks make their way out.

 

Too bad. He should be going with the one he really loves.

 

He is going with the ones he loves, his W and kids, no matter what he has led your friend to believe. It might not be passionate, but there is definitely love there if he is taking the whole family out in public.

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whichwayisup
She bought the tix first. Yes ticket"s". She's going with friends.

It'll kill him to see her there & not be able to interact with her.

I hope his stomach hurts by the site of seeing her there. He'll be miserable there. Ha

Too bad. He should be going with the one he really loves.

 

Wow, your friend has blinders on. It's sad.

 

Put it this way, (i'm sure your friend is still reading here too) but she has herself fooled. IF he really wanted to be with her (your friend) then he would tell his wife it's over, get divorced, have shared 50-50 custody with the kids and he'd be with your friend. But, he isn't. She can think it will "kill" him to see her there, but honestly, it won't. He'll be too concerned making sure his wife is comfortable and isn't pissed off that the OW is 2 rows behind them. I doubt very much he's going to be miserable....

 

Again, reality check..........

 

It upset her to read what others replied.

I asked how to get her thru the concert but the thread was quickly changed to another subject.

 

The truth of a situation hurts when you see it from different sides. I think your friend needs to take her blinders off.

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whichwayisup
She's choosing to stick it out with the hope of a happy ending. Like I did.

 

She's going to be waiting a long time...But, if she is willing to stick it out for a year, which probably will turn into 2, 3, or 5+ years, then she'll have noone to blame but herself. Again, if a MM really wants to be with his OW, he'll end his marriage and figure out a way to make it all work. He hasn't and the chances of him doing so are slim to none.

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precious1357

How can I "stick it out"? It hurts too much, he is ALWAYS obligated to do something, go somewhere. No kids involved just a whole of lot of obligation and he always, always says they do not have a physical/sexual relationship, how much can I believe that and how long can I do it? Happy ending, when???

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TogetherForever

Well I didn't expect all the bs' to help.

 

Thanks Anyway.

And Again - it was my fault for not thinking before I posted here.

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How can I "stick it out"? It hurts too much, he is ALWAYS obligated to do something, go somewhere. No kids involved just a whole of lot of obligation and he always, always says they do not have a physical/sexual relationship, how much can I believe that and how long can I do it? Happy ending, when???

 

Precious1357

 

You are right. There is no point of sticking it out with this guy. An ex of mine was secretly dating his exGF behind my back and gave me that same obligation crap before I dumped him. He was obligated to see that she was okay because he got her pregnant, she had an abortion, she was so depressed, she dropped out of school. BS!!!

 

Don't fall for the obligation line. Its always a bunch of bull. No one is THAT obligated.

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Is there a reason that your friend has to go to the concert? She is the one that has all the knowledge here (knowing who will be at the concert and where everyone is sitting) and she is the one that can take that info and decide if she wants to be in an uncomfortable position.

 

Even if she has no respect for the MM or his wife, at least she can avoid what could be a devastating situation for the kids. She has no idea how the MM or his wife will react with her 2 rows back. I know you are only asking how it can be made better for your friend. Is it possible for your friend to think how others would feel? Possibly the kids.

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whichwayisup

Hopefully knowing that the kids are there, WILL force her and the MM to avoid ANY discomfort. They (the children) are the innocent ones here, so please, just tell your friend (again, I hope she's reading still reading) that she needs to keep her emotions incheck and stay away from ALL of them at this concert.

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precious1357

Thanks, even though its feels as if my heart is cracking and the tears

keep flowing, the emotional "roller coaster" is too much! I'm tired of it but

I will admit that I do love him dearly but sometimes love is not enough.

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She's reading here & asked me to delete this thread.

 

Members do not have the power to delete threads. Requests to moderators to do so will not be honored unless someone's life or property is in immediate danger. It is my feeling that there is simply no way on the planet that your friend could be identified with anything written here.

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Shades of Grey

Hi TF,

 

Can you explain why your friend even wants to still go to this concert?

 

I don't really understand the situation. The obvious solution seems to me that she should just not go but maybe I have missed something?

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TogetherForever
Hi TF,

 

Can you explain why your friend even wants to still go to this concert?

 

I don't really understand the situation. The obvious solution seems to me that she should just not go but maybe I have missed something?

 

 

She's set on going to the concert regardless of the wifey being there.

And I don't blame her.

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Shades of Grey

It just seems like she would be causing herself completely avoidable pain.

 

Does the wife know who she is?

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TogetherForever
It just seems like she would be causing herself completely avoidable pain.

 

Does the wife know who she is?

 

Not personally. She's seen the wife numerous times but wifey hasn't seen her. They did speak on the phone once.

The wife wouldn't have a clue that the girlfriend was at the concert.

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