Meaplus3 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Just an update for you all. Had a big fourth of July party for our neighhbor's yesterday. For those of you who don't know my story I had a 18 month ea with my nextdoor married neighbor. Told H in Nov of 06 and all ea contact came to a hault in Dec 2006 just before Christmas. I did have a final closure meeting with MM in April of 2007 and closure it was. It was all about how to be nice and civil. Did that work NO. NC is still in place for the most part, with the exception of dealing with the children. So to get back to the party yestrday, I did darn well! It hurt like H*** but I did it. H was so good and all the neighbor's had fun. Where does this leave me with my feeling's? In reality for the first time in the last 2 years of this mess. I can cope and will. As for my marriage, well that need's to be dealt with. Hope to make it work and can only hope for the best. One thing I have realized in this whole mess is how lost one can become as a person. I did not even know who I was for about 2 year's. I was so far gone from my real life and had stepped into a "Fantasy" that really felt like it was real. Well, Nuff said:lmao: Sorry to vent, any thought's, word's would be great. AP Link to post Share on other sites
Onelife Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Thank you for sharing your story. I so agree with you that there is hope! I can tell from the way you wrote that you are moving on and feeling better with the whole situation really. It may not feel that way for you sometimes but it will gradually get better. Realizing how lost we could be is the important part. And gaining the perspective of real life back is wonderful. I am going through the same breaking up and NC for a few months now (never seen him since February). It was so very tough at the beginning and I didn't even know how to live my life, just did it day by day. Little by little I've gain "myself" back - sometimes feel like no progress but to look back now I know I've come so far! I know what you mean about "Fantasy" we lived in!!! Let's keep up with growing, moving on and away from that fantasy part of our lives. Even though sometimes I do smile because it happened! Quite the contrary but it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Well done, Answer, am SO pleased for you. I really hope you can sort out the issues in your M and that you will be happier in yourself. It sounds like you are well on the way! You must be very proud of your H for the way that he has dealt with things too. sometimes feel like no progress but to look back now I know I've come so far! OneLife, I SO agree with this comment. I am still struggling with the split from MM big time and some days it feels like it's never ending but I know that I am dealing with things SO much better than I was this time last year. It really does get easier. I still love him and still miss him but I am not the emotional mess I was. I can manage not to think about him, sometimes for hours, and he isn't always the first thing I think of when I wake up. That's definitely progress! Link to post Share on other sites
IWALH Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 One thing I have realized in this whole mess is how lost one can become as a person. I did not even know who I was for about 2 year's. I was so far gone from my real life and had stepped into a "Fantasy" that really felt like it was real. Oh my gosh, I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! For quite some time I really felt like I was living a double life. The kind of person I became while "seeing" him was so far from who I really was. I am just now starting to wake up and get back to reality after soooooo long. And I truly feel better than I have felt in years!!! There was a period of time where there was minimal contact and I felt pretty good and normal then, but as the contact increased I really starting losing sight of myself again. It's good to be back, isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
child_of_isis Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Sounds like you are coming out of the fog. Nice to have you back in the real world. Hang tough. I am proud of you. Link to post Share on other sites
circeinvidiosa Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 I wish I could share the optimism. For me it's been 10 years since the A, and I am still alone. My own fear is my biggest obstacle. The second biggest is the lack of options. I don't find anyone. On the rare occasion that I do (we're talking years in between) he's married. And I'd rather cut off body parts than risk it again with an MM. I am SOO happy for anyone who can recover from this -- but for some I am terribly afraid that it's not an accident. It's either the A or nothing. I am going along with nothing, and the latest dialog has convinced me to continue with nothing for another 10 years if need be. But I wish I did not have to be alone to be emotionally safe. This is hard. Link to post Share on other sites
SoxPrincess Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 One thing I have realized in this whole mess is how lost one can become as a person. I did not even know who I was for about 2 year's. I was so far gone from my real life and had stepped into a "Fantasy" that really felt like it was real. AP Ain't that the truth AP! I know exactly what you mean as I lost myself for two years also and I know years down the road I will look back and be so sad about how I chose to waste two years of precious life on nothing more than a fantasy. It sounds like you are doing great and I wish you lots of continued luck and progress in the future. I'm proud of you! Link to post Share on other sites
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