BenThereDunThat Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 AAARGHHH!!! My blood pressure is through the roof. Buddy boy needs to know his place! He does NOT get to chat idly with ANY of my friends!! I do NOT want to hear him talk about his holiday plans...He needs to stay away from my friends and away from my side of the freaking building unless it is WORK RELATED!!!! Keep pushin' it....I am the one person in this world who has the power and the back-up to make your life a living hell. Stay OUT OF MY SIGHT and no one gets hurt. (deep breath) Thank you, LS, for letting me get that out. Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Today is a bad day for everyone..... Deep Breathe....Do you have a stress ball? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Sounds like you want him bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 I know it is hard but IGNORE him. It will drive him absolutely crazy. Men hate to be dismissed. And, for whatever it is worth, he is completely transparent to me. He wants you to squirm. DON'T. This must be so incredibly hard for you. At least my lame brain ex lives in another state so he can't litter in my life. (Thank God.) Your dude is trying to get a rise out of you. Somehow, let him see that you are completely unaffected and unruffled. No response will take the wind out of his sails fast. But you are right. You could blow his world up with a phone call or letter. Stupid, stupid man. Why is it that they absolutely must push us into a corner when it is over? Why cannot they just quietly GO AWAY? Hang in there. You are a tough one. Don't let him get to you. He isn't worth it. BTW, I love your spunk. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 You go girl......I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In my case....this "individual" and I am being nice....emails the other day "we need to talk" ....TALK ABOUT WHAT????????? Talk about the fact that YOU ARE MARRIED and are a cakeman....this person blows up my phone, sometimes calling over 30 times.... Try if you can to calm down ....don't let Mr. Cakeman push your buttons....now I don't know your entire situation so if I'm off base throw it to the wind...k...if it is like my OLD, PAST situation the fool is a control freak cakeman. You know since being on this forum, only a few days, all of the people here have givin me the stregnth to stay away from mr. cakeman....I haven't told my story, but this individual put me through a lot and I ALLOWED IT. I am not allowing it anymore and am trying hard to understand why I allowed in the first place. I feel so bad for what I have done and never want to go through this again....I lost so much and could have lost even more, so in essence I am very lucky.... I came so close....but telling his wife will only make you feel bad because you are a nice person and only want to help people and not hurt them.... Stand your ground! You will be in my thoughts ..k... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 I didn't read your first paragraph as well as I should have....sorry, with working nights, and have never worked nights before am just a little spacey...lol.... But...OMG what a game player....that was cruel, cold and heartless....but you are not....so be glad your rid of him Link to post Share on other sites
TheDiva Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 They never get it! Keep venting here and elsewhere. Don't let him see anything other than that radiant,wonderful, happy-go-lucky woman that is BTDT. He wants to know that he can still affect you. What an a$$ he is! Does he have any self respect??? Boy it would be nice to stuff him like the turkey he is and serve him up on the table while you and his W go out for a night on the town. Not that you would want to do that, just sounds like a good ending. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Keep pushin' it....I am the one person in this world who has the power and the back-up to make your life a living hell. Stay OUT OF MY SIGHT and no one gets hurt. well BTDT...you better make sure he knows that in no uncertain terms... Link to post Share on other sites
kymberann Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Yes today has been a bad day. In fact so has the week! Lots of crying, and now I feel the anger! At least I have the solace that MM's wife got suspiscious and now will never have anything to do with me. Damn that burns me! Just shows what most men are made of! I am glad it is over, just didn't like how it ended! That makes a difference! Anyway, have a happy day tomorrow! Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Yes today has been a bad day. In fact so has the week! Lots of crying, and now I feel the anger! At least I have the solace that MM's wife got suspiscious and now will never have anything to do with me. Damn that burns me! Just shows what most men are made of! I am glad it is over, just didn't like how it ended! That makes a difference! Anyway, have a happy day tomorrow! Sorry it's a hard week for you...I feel for you...Focus on this being the beginning of something new... And you have a Happy Turkey Day, too! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 I am the one person in this world who has the power and the back-up to make your life a living hell. Why are you so angry? At yourself?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 I know it is hard but IGNORE him. It will drive him absolutely crazy. Men hate to be dismissed. And, for whatever it is worth, he is completely transparent to me. He wants you to squirm. DON'T. This must be so incredibly hard for you. At least my lame brain ex lives in another state so he can't litter in my life. (Thank God.) Your dude is trying to get a rise out of you. Somehow, let him see that you are completely unaffected and unruffled. No response will take the wind out of his sails fast. But you are right. You could blow his world up with a phone call or letter. Stupid, stupid man. Why is it that they absolutely must push us into a corner when it is over? Why cannot they just quietly GO AWAY? Hang in there. You are a tough one. Don't let him get to you. He isn't worth it. BTW, I love your spunk. Thank you. And thank god for LS. I was thisclose to firing off an email or getting in his face, but I know better than to give him that much attention. Just yesterday, at our work party, someone who was standing RIGHT NEXT TO HIM addressed me and I managed to respond to her without even LOOKING at him. It was if he was invisible. And, by the way, I looked GOOD...had the two top dogs of my whole corporation flirting (in a friendly way) with me and my friends. I guess that did it. I don't know. But, wow. I thought I had made really good strides until today. I mean I went from 0 to Pissed Off in record time. I thought I was past that, but it's ok, just gotta give myself a little more time. A**hole, liar to God.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 Why are you so angry? At yourself?? More than anything, yes, I think that's it. I'm angry at myself. Never have I let anyone--male or female, friend or romantic interest--get to me this way. I pride myself on being intelligent, making wise decisions for myself, looking out for myself, counseling my friends on looking out for themselves...now look at me. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 well BTDT...you better make sure he knows that in no uncertain terms... I want him to know that, but how do I do that without contacting him? Even just firing off a note reminding him of that fact will just fuel his ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 They never get it! Keep venting here and elsewhere. Don't let him see anything other than that radiant,wonderful, happy-go-lucky woman that is BTDT. He wants to know that he can still affect you. What an a$$ he is! Does he have any self respect??? Boy it would be nice to stuff him like the turkey he is and serve him up on the table while you and his W go out for a night on the town. Not that you would want to do that, just sounds like a good ending. Thanks, Diva! That IS me...and I want her back, dammit!!! LMFAO...stuff him like the turkey he is....LOVE it. And oh lord, how fun would it be to get his W out on the town, fill her up with drinks and show her a fun time withOUT him.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 Today is a bad day for everyone..... Deep Breathe....Do you have a stress ball? No stress ball but I do have a bar on the way to my parking garage.... Therefore, I feel a little better now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 I didn't read your first paragraph as well as I should have....sorry, with working nights, and have never worked nights before am just a little spacey...lol.... But...OMG what a game player....that was cruel, cold and heartless....but you are not....so be glad your rid of him Thank you....my, er, "individual" used to do the same thing. "we need to talk." Um, no, there isn't anything to talk about! You are married, you f***ked with my head, and I hate you. End of discussion. Hang in there. When you're ready, I hope you'll share your story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 Yes today has been a bad day. In fact so has the week! Lots of crying, and now I feel the anger! At least I have the solace that MM's wife got suspiscious and now will never have anything to do with me. Damn that burns me! Just shows what most men are made of! I am glad it is over, just didn't like how it ended! That makes a difference! Anyway, have a happy day tomorrow! I know what you mean about the way it ended making a difference, but really, as far as you getting over it? This is the best way it could have happened. For YOU. Had it been some drawn-out, romanticisized thing, your heart would have been hurting in a whole other way, the worst way. At least now you can see him for the a**hole-coward-cheater that he is, dust yourself off, and move ON. I'm glad you're in the anger stage. That's the first step. I hate that people see how long this has taken me to get over it because I really don't think it would have taken me this long if I didn't work with him and have to see and/or hear him everyday. Just know that we're with you.... Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 I want him to know that, but how do I do that without contacting him? Even just firing off a note reminding him of that fact will just fuel his ego. Indifference is the best revenge. He's entitled to do whatever he wants, except stick his tool where it's not wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
kymberann Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 THanks BTDT, That would be a difficult position to be in, working with the X. I feel for ya on that one! I am glad it is over and the more I think about it, the more I want to vent. I have lost so much of myself and I didn't even realize it until this past week. There comes those times during the course of the day when I think I am doing good and then BAM damn memories. Then some of the pain starts all over again. Right now I think men are heartless pieces of no good crap, single or not! As for the XMM of mine, I keep reminding myself that his actions did not add up to his words he used on me! His loss, I know he is suffering with the wife! He fears her! Now that gives me a chuckle! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 Indifference is the best revenge. He's entitled to do whatever he wants, except stick his tool where it's not wanted. I know you're right, and I try to live by that rule. But the petty side of me wants to see some "measurable results." You know? I guess when I am TRULY and FULLY over it (notice I did not say 'him', because I don't think it's really him I need to get over), then I won't care if he suffers, gets 'found out', or any of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 THanks BTDT, That would be a difficult position to be in, working with the X. I feel for ya on that one! I am glad it is over and the more I think about it, the more I want to vent. I have lost so much of myself and I didn't even realize it until this past week. There comes those times during the course of the day when I think I am doing good and then BAM damn memories. Then some of the pain starts all over again. Right now I think men are heartless pieces of no good crap, single or not! As for the XMM of mine, I keep reminding myself that his actions did not add up to his words he used on me! His loss, I know he is suffering with the wife! He fears her! Now that gives me a chuckle! I so know what you mean...I hope it helps you to know that it's all part of the process. When those BAM times come, just let it wash over you, give into it, and know that it's what you have to go through to get to the next stage. I hope that makes sense. Just the fact that you realize you "lost so much of yourself" is HUGE! That says that your real self is still there and speaking to you...and she'll come back out, and be better and stronger than she/YOU ever was before! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 But the petty side of me wants to see some "measurable results." You know? You are just as much "to blame" as he is. Time you faced up to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 You are just as much "to blame" as he is. Time you faced up to that. Ahem. Magic. Honey. You know I love you. BUT IF YOU'VE READ MY POSTS AT ALL...you would know that I own as much of the blame, if not more, than I put on him.... Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 BUT IF YOU'VE READ MY POSTS AT ALL What can I say...I like writing more than reading. So you're upset because he's waving his dick in your face. He's the small one. Link to post Share on other sites
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