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Need to stop this crush on my Priest!!!


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Hi I feel very silly... but I have a bit of a crush on my priest!!!

He is a wonderful man-gentle and warm.Of course,this is a no brainer-Í'm married and so is he-to the LORD!!But I need to get over this because it is getting in the way of my spirituality. I guess I'm looking for a quick fix if there is one..and as stupid as i feel, even writing this might be helping.

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whichwayisup

Don't allow yourself to think about him at all. If your mind starts wandering, MAKE yourself STOP and realize that it isn't going anywhere, it doesn't serve you to have feelings for him.

 

Or just change churches. Out of sight, out of mind.

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BlahBlahQueen

Allow me for a second to play the devil's advocate - literally.

 

I think you should try to seduce the good Father. You'll only be doing him a favor by putting him back into the gene pool. I know a couple, friends of my parents, who met while the man was studying for the priesthood. They fell in love, he ditched the seminary, they got married and have remained so for 30-odd years. They have three children. He's never looked back. Who knows, you may be saving that poor priest from himself. Plus imagine what all those years of pent-up sexual urges might mean in the sack!!!!! :D

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Allow me for a second to play the devil's advocate - literally.

 

I think you should try to seduce the good Father. You'll only be doing him a favor by putting him back into the gene pool. I know a couple, friends of my parents, who met while the man was studying for the priesthood. They fell in love, he ditched the seminary, they got married and have remained so for 30-odd years. They have three children. He's never looked back. Who knows, you may be saving that poor priest from himself. Plus imagine what all those years of pent-up sexual urges might mean in the sack!!!!! :D

 

 

 

Why should she seduce the preist? She said she was married.

 

 

 

 

 

Jade

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I know a couple, friends of my parents, who met while the man was studying for the priesthood. They fell in love, he ditched the seminary, they got married and have remained so for 30-odd years.

 

it's less of a social taboo to leave the seminary because you've discerned a vocation of marriage and fatherhood than it is for a ordained clergyman (priest, deacon or bishop) to do that because their vocation is their holy orders.

 

Hi I feel very silly... but I have a bit of a crush on my priest!!!

He is a wonderful man-gentle and warm.Of course,this is a no brainer-Í'm married and so is he-to the LORD!!But I need to get over this because it is getting in the way of my spirituality. I guess I'm looking for a quick fix if there is one..and as stupid as i feel, even writing this might be helping.

 

it's perfectly normal response when you meet someone who epitomizes your ideal of a good man. The main thing is that you realize it's a crush, because you show your understanding that he's already taken. As you continue the RCIA process, get to know more about Father What-a-waste-he'd-have-made-a-good-catch and learn why he's dedicated himself to the church. I think your crush will develop into full-blown admiration of the sacrifices he's made to serve God in this very special way.

 

one of the priests here in town is a real cutie, not much older than me, and some of the women I've spoken to confess that they hope to catch him jogging (sweaty T-shirt, SHORT shorts, nice legs) :love: :love: however, they'll also tell you that as they get to know him better, those naughty thoughts turn into a kind of admiration for the fine man that he is, and they're truly proud that he's serving this community and that we're blessed to have a good guy like him. Almost as if they don't see what's outside, but recognize the goodness inside and rejoice in it.

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I think this guy is an ideal type for you, representing some of what you may be missing in your marriage--a spiritual energy you'd like to have more present in your life in an intimate way with H.

 

It's not unusual for women to fall for clergy for this reason.

 

But it causes no end to trouble to act on these urges. DO NOT ACT ON IT! I'd confess this to another priest, though, in confessional and see what advice you're given. The confessional isn't just for sins committed but for real pastoral advice.

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Interesting responses...he is cute-tall dark and literally handsome. I don't want to think about his pent up sexual urges, because THAT DOESN"T HELP!!!!:love:

I can't go there.and I don't think for a moment he would. That's a good thing, because it would certainly be a blow to my faith if he were to "sucumb". I already admire him very much for his work, very reverent in all he does.

Yes, he is an ideal. It is certainly hard to work on my marriage when I know there arte men out there who who are not always negative and angry, etc.

I think counsel from another priest is a good idea,though

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BlahBlahQueen

Umm, guys... I was kidding. Duh.

 

Chick, you need to focus on fixing your marriage. This crush of yours is just an attempt to distract yourself from the real issue.

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michelangelo

And steer clear of the priest whom you want to corrupt.

 

And do confess to your new priest (the old and homely one).

 

Reconnect to your husband and stop this nonsense.

 

The priest is unobtainable and you are risking all by continuing this.

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I am deeply offended by the insinuatation that I am trying to corrupt this priest! He doesn't know and he will not know. Maybe you should read the whole post

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michelangelo

You say you want to stop fantasizing and thinking about this priest. But you remain tempted to get him to feel romantically about you.

 

That is what i mean by wanting to corrupt him.

 

I recommend speaking to a priest about it too, but not one whom you'll be attracted to for advice.

 

work on your marriage!

 

I didn't insinuate anything.

 

Also, I think if you recast how you feel about him in the way I described it it will be easier for you to toss aside these feelings.

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How about you don't try to read my mind? All I got on here for was some advice as to what iIshould do to stop these feelings.Are YOU a priest, by the way?

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I wouldn't worry about it too much. I've had plenty of crushes and as long it remains at a crush level, what's the problem. They usually burn themselves out after a while when you realise that the object of your crush is as human as the rest of us.

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I agree with sasperilla – crushes usually run a short-lived course, provided you keep things in perspective. Father What-A-Waste probably is appealing because not only is he pleasant to the eye, but most likely has a good personality you appreciate. And there's nothing really wrong with it, provided you don't act on those feelings of attraction – from the sounds of it, you don't plan to. Just let it run it's course.

 

as for finding a homely priest and confessing this attraction ... nah, I wouldn't bother, unless it really is causing you distress or is leading you toward a state of sin. Having a crush on someone is not morally wrong when it's just a feeling. Turning it into an action (i.e., flirting or behaving with the intent to draw this person away from his "marriage" to the church) is a whole other issue.

 

you're going to be fine. If it helps to lessen those feelings of intense like or attraction, start thinking of Father WAW in different terms, not as the hottie priest or the guy with great manners, but as someone who is a credit to the priesthood for how he interacts with his flock or for how good a model he is. After all the poop flying about due to priests who sexually abuse members of the parish, it's nice to have a positive role model priest.

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michelangelo

I'm not a priest, but if you are fantasizing about a priest and if you are catholic, then you know what I say is true.

 

If you have any chance at acting on these feelings then you will be tempting a man who has vowed to be celebate for spiritual reasons.

 

Pointing this out to you seems to be threatening to you. Why is that?

 

Does it kinda mess up the fantasy?

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Thanks everyone.I think it will blow over-he is a fine man and I would never do anything to hurt him or threaten my newly born Catholic beliefs.

He is a good role model-why would I want to tamper with that because of what is going on strictly inside of me?

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I think so... and I thank you all for letting me have a place to put it down in black and white, and giving me some feedback

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