Jump to content

Affair partner physically thrashed my husband and had a physical fight with my sons


sophisticatedlady

Recommended Posts

sophisticatedlady

Here is my story:

 

 

Married for last 18 years to my husband, have two sons and a daughter.

 

 

I am 43-year-old, my husband is 44-year-old, 1st son is 17-year-old another son and daughter are 15 years old (both are twins).

 

 

 

Affair partner is 28-year-old and married with kids.

 

 

I am having an affair with my younger colleague from last two years, we are working together in the same department, it started when for the first time we went for a business trip 2 years ago,

 

 

Somehow, we were able to manage that without anyone notice and not leaving anything suspicious to our family.

 

 

This Friday, I was working from home and I called my affair partner to my house, but to my surprise, my husband along with sons and daughter came with food and gifts in the afternoon to surprise me as my husband got promoted this January.

 

 

So, me and my affair partner were caught naked, in the middle of our sexual act.

 

 

My husband and kids were shocked, and my affair partner got furious, before anyone should react or say anything,

 

 

And affair partner suddenly jumped out of bed and started thrashing my husband and my sons and daughter were also got involved in that fight, where my both sons brutally assaulted my affair partner, my husband is fainted, my daughter called the cops, affair partner fled away with me from my house.

 

 

My husband leg and hand are fractured and he is seriously injured, and currently hospitalised my kids got bruises and at the hospital,

 

 

I never saw that my sons can do such things, my daughter and sons are not talking to me, other family members came to know from my sons and daughter, my parents and in laws are with my kids and taking care of my husband, I got this information from our mutual friend.

 

 

Currently I am staying at a hotel with my affair partner, I want to meet my kids and see my husband in the hospital, but I don’t know how to proceed further, I am scared and worried because cops got involved.

 

 

I do love my family and I love my husband and affair partner both, but now this incident and mess has happened, don’t know how to sort it out.

 

 

Looking for serious suggestions and realistic advice

  • Mad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic

I suggest you get a good attorney, and a good therapist. And advise your husband, your affair partner, and your affair partner's wife to all do the same.

 

Make sure all the kids involved get therapy, too.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Just my opinion but the best way for you to proceed is to give your husband an uncontested divorce, the image of you with your [affair partner] will never leave their minds. His attack on your children and husband was brutal. The fact you are still with your boyfriend while your husband is in the hospital tells everyone who your loyalty is to, it is not with your family. Shame, shame, shame on you for not defending them, you do not deserve them in your life. I do not see them recovering from your actions on discovery and your actions after being discovered. Get yourself some psychological help, there is something really wrong with the way you are handling this.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language
  • Like 35
Link to post
Share on other sites
GorillaTheater

[]

 

Stay away from them. None of them are going to be too keen on seeing you for some time, maybe forever.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content
  • Like 23
Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow..

 

 

File for divorce and give your husband everything.

 

You clearly decided your AP is more valuable to you than your family so why not just make a clean break and walk away.

 

Don't worry your husband will find someone eventually and your children will grow to love that woman. They will heal without you.

 

 

Now if this isn't the path you want then leave the place your staying at right now. Go home and block your AP on every level. Don't call him don't talk to him in any way shape or form. If he tries to talk to you show your husband everything. Beg for forgiveness and give your husband time to decide what he wants. If it is a divorce be incredibly giving in that process. Once your divorce maybe you and your OM can be together.

 

I feel for your husband and children. It had to be incredibly painful to see you defend your new OM and run to him.

 

C

  • Like 11
Link to post
Share on other sites

First, I think your husband should press charges against your affair partner.

 

Second, I think you should leave your husband and children alone. You had the audacity to have sex with your affair partner in your own home, and then you are upset and say "you never knew your sons could do this, and your children aren't talking to you..." Do have no empathy for your children, no ability to see the situation through their eyes?

 

I would bet that they never thought they would stumble upon their mother having sex with another man, not their father, in their family home.

 

If your husband is wise, he will file for divorce and take everything he can get!

  • Like 11
Link to post
Share on other sites

Your statement "my boyfriend fled with you from the house" I take it to mean you fled with him of your own accord and of your own free choice. You fled rather then helping your husband who had to be hospitalized. Your daughter and two sons who intervened to help their dad were all injured and the last thing they saw was their mother running from the scene with the man that caused the injuries. I suspect you are both wanted by the police and are now fugitives hiding in some cheep hotel. I suspect that you and your boyfriend won't have to worry about buying anniversary gifts again. I am sure you and your 20 year younger boyfriend are a perfect match for each other. I am sure his wife is real happy to hear what you have done to her family. You need a lawyer.

  • Like 12
Link to post
Share on other sites

[]I commend your sons for jumping in to defend their father. That was the right thing for them to do.

 

Where is your shame and remorse for putting your family in such a horrible position? And now you are hiding away at a hotel with your affair partner after causing so much trauma to your children. I don't think you love your husband and I seriously have to question if you even love your kids.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content
  • Like 15
Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and kids were shocked, and my affair partner got furious, before anyone should react or say anything,

 

 

And affair partner suddenly jumped out of bed and started thrashing my husband and my sons and daughter were also got involved in that fight, where my both sons brutally assaulted my affair partner, my husband is fainted, my daughter called the cops, affair partner fled away with me from my house.

 

 

My husband leg and hand are fractured and he is seriously injured, and currently hospitalised my kids got bruises and at the hospital,

 

 

I never saw that my sons can do such things, my daughter and sons are not talking to me, other family members came to know from my sons and daughter, my parents and in laws are with my kids and taking care of my husband, I got this information from our mutual friend.

 

 

Currently I am staying at a hotel with my affair partner, I want to meet my kids and see my husband in the hospital, but I don’t know how to proceed further, I am scared and worried because cops got involved.

 

[]

 

[Y]our AP got "furious". Really? WTF reason could he have for that. You don't "belong" to him. Not his house. Not his bed. []

 

Third, your AP attacks YOUR FAMILY. And, I guess you lay there and watch this carnage. This naked AP is attacking your 15 year old DAUGHTER!!!

 

And your husband feints?!?!?!??!?!?! []

 

And you are shocked that your sons beat this guy to defend themselves, their father and sister!!!! I say they are the real heroes! Good for them.

 

[]

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited for topical content, tone and language
  • Like 13
Link to post
Share on other sites

[T]here is no sorting this out except through a lawyer. Do you know if you both still have a job? The best thing for you to do is find out if you are wanted by the police, if you are both still employed and if your charge cards still work.

 

I doubt if you'll need to worry about future anniversaries, birthday's for your children or for your future grandchildren.

 

The potential felon( depending on your husband and children filing charges) your with looks like your future. I don't think you need to worry about being in love with him and your husband anymore, running off with him took care of that issue.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Good afternoon

 

Two major reminders...

 

1. Always deem any thread posted on LoveShack.org to be valid unless and until moderation makes a determination otherwise. Respond to the topical content or move on.

 

2. Language. We've long had a language policy here and it's announced at the top of every forum now for over two years. I suggest reviewing it.

 

Thanks!

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Your children have been raised well. To come in defense of their father against a madman speaks to their maturity. And your daughter was smart enough to call the police instead of panicking.

 

At this point in time, the most important thing is the healing of the victims in this. Your husband and children need space from you at present. Or possibly permanently. They also need to go through the process of pressing charges against your affair partner. As the police were called, this WILL go through legal processes.

 

What you want or how you feel is of little consequence at this time.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW.

 

So someone comes along and assaults YOUR FAMILY, you take that person's side, and you "don't know how to sort it out".

 

Leave. And leave everything behind. Let our husband have everything and apologize to your kids for being such an awful mother. Your family would just be so much better without you.

 

I'd say what I really feel about you but I don't want to get banned so I'll leave it at that.

  • Like 11
Link to post
Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider

Okay, so the district attorney will take care of the assault part. And luckily for you...I would venture that your "affair fog" just turned into blazing sun!

And when your WHOLE family presses charges for assault and battery, crimes against children and more....Your AP will be doing some good "time". You will have effectively ended the affair and gone NC. Also, you might want to contact an attorney and start working with the plaintiff side for a plea bargain. I'm not sure what state you are living in, but can realistically see you getting wrapped up in "accomplice" status. You will get nothing, divorce will be automatic and good luck with the supervised visits with the kiddos...Provided they want to ever see you again. Oh, and you need to get a STD check...For you, your XH, and the poor kids. Somethings can be transmitted by toilets...Nice one huh...

 

Turn yourself in....Love yourself just a little bit and feel empathy for the first time for others. Walk away from this and get serious help.

The idea that you can separate your kids, husband, affair a**hole while remaining aloof about the situation your in, speaks volumes. You are a narcissist, and possibly borderline. Get help, and stop this madness.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

According to your opening post, your sons "brutally assaulted" your affair partner, so why is he not injured but living happily in the hotel with you? Why didn't he go home considering he is married with kids?

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

hope your husband and kids get well. they will need some counseling.

 

your AP hopefully will be charged and serve a long time.

 

You may be charged as well. You could turn yourself into the police.

 

Why are you and your AP not staying at his house with his wife and kids?

 

how is your work going to handle this? will you both be fired?

 

your work may not like the publicity.

 

Good luck to your ex H and your kids.

Link to post
Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider

"Why are you and your AP not staying at his house with his wife and kids?"

I'm betting his BS is getting talked to by the cops right about now...

 

Poor woman..."Ma'am, your husband was with another married woman, your husband assaulted her family and went into hiding..." She probably fainted. lol

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

SLady,

I do love my family and I love my husband and affair partner both, but now this incident and mess has happened, don’t know how to sort it out.
^^^^despite what you say above it is plain to me that the only person you love is yourself.

 

If your AP assaulted your husband so violently that he has a broken hand and leg, then we are talking about some serious jail time here.

Your AP has shown himself to be a dangerous person with anger management issues and you need to get away from him.

 

Leave the hotel and your AP, go home, pack a bag and then find somewhere to live on your own/with a friend/friends and get legal advice.

 

[]

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote

 

I am having an affair with my younger colleague from last two years,

 

This Friday, I was working from home and I called my affair partner to my house,

 

So, me and my affair partner were caught naked, in the middle of our sexual act.

 

My husband and kids were shocked, and my affair partner got furious,

 

And affair partner suddenly jumped out of bed and started thrashing my husband and my sons and daughter were also got involved in that fight, where my both sons brutally assaulted my affair partner, my husband is fainted, my daughter called the cops, affair partner fled away with me from my house.

 

 

My husband leg and hand are fractured and he is seriously injured, and currently hospitalised my kids got bruises and at the hospital,

 

my daughter and sons are not talking to me, other family members came to know from my sons and daughter, my parents and in laws are with my kids and taking care of my husband, I got this information from our mutual friend.

 

 

Currently I am staying at a hotel with my affair partner, I am scared and worried because cops got involved.

 

 

I do love my family and I love my husband and affair partner both, but now this incident and mess has happened, don’t know how to sort it out.

 

 

Looking for serious suggestions and realistic advice

 

 

Your scared and worried for yourself and your boyfriend. You have said nothing about your worry for your hospitalized husband or your daughter who got beat up. You have not said anything about your worry for your two sons who by the sounds of it took a beating. Your husband didn't faint, he was probably unconscious from a surprise hit from your boyfriend, had your children not intervened this could possibly have been a homicide. By running away from the attack you are now very likely an accomplice to whatever your boyfriend is going to be charged with. Even your parents aren't talking to you by the sounds of it.

 

You need to turn yourself in before things get worse for you and you need the best lawyer your parents can afford because I don't think you can count on your husband for anything going forward. Great way to celebrate your soon to be ex husbands promotion.

Edited by aliveagain
  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Your priorities are ALL messed up.

 

He assaulted your KIDS for goodness sakes and you aren't with THEM???? Even if your marriage was in trouble, your kids still need you, you are their mother.

 

Actually no, your kids don't need someone so selfish that she would stay with the AP at a hotel room instead of being with her kids.

 

I sure hope your soon to be ex husband gets full custody of the kids because you have shown that you do not have their best interests at heart. Hope the AP enjoys jail time too.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

The realistic advice is,

1.make a real deep apology to husband and your kids. by email or phone, both r ok.

2. leave your young partner, it will be difficult to leave him ,yes .....

but u need to leave him which is the right decision for u both. he is a married man a father too. wake up!

3.take a vacation , go to another city,which is only u yourself....

to sort out all these by yourself. u can get support from online forums, or counselors same time.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It won't be long before you'll be facing his wife. My guess is your husband will contact her and the affair will be exposed to her.

 

affair partner fled away with me from my house.

 

You obviously have chosen your affair partner over your husband and 3 kids. Leaving with your AP says a lot.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

If your boyfriend gets charged with assault for his attack on your husband and children, you, because you did nothing to protect them choosing instead to run into hiding with him have put yourself at risk. Your actions will likely cause you to loose your children. You stand a very good chance that you will be charged as his accomplice. Your actions are proof to the court that you are an unfit mother. I don't know if a husband can sue his wife but because he suffered some serious injuries there may be some allowable exceptions. You really need a lawyer because your at the center of all this.

Edited by aliveagain
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...