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How often are we wrong


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 2nd September 2016, 1:58 AM   #16
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I would bet money on an affair. Sounds like you have the finances to find out for certain. Get a private investigator if you really want to find out the truth.
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Old 2nd September 2016, 2:05 AM   #17
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One thing I can't stand about this forum is how quick people are to say "your spouse is probably cheating" at the smallest of insignificant signs that doesn't necessarily point to your spouse cheating. It's like people just project their own infidelity situations on to other members. It is very common, and in some cases a huge leap to come to that conclusion.

Having said that.... Dude WAKE THE HELL UP! Everything everyone else has said is spot on. Pull your head out your ars. Of course they are having an affair. Of course she was prego with Sancho's kid. Of course you have a serial cheater on your hands. There is zero doubt. I think even in your own mind. You are like the guy from the matrix that wants back in. You keep swallowing the red pill, only to immediately reinstate yourself back into your own mental fantasy land. And it's happened to you several times over.

If you want to keep your head in the sand for your entire life because you are comfortable, that is fine. Just at least acknowledge the truth. I suspect your wife even figures you know about it, and do nothing. I don't know, is someone a cake eater if said cake eater is being served and spoon fed the cake by their spouse?
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Old 2nd September 2016, 2:20 AM   #18
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For me - I had it all... All the stuff and a nice cushy life.

And he expected I would swallow that **** sandwich he served up on that silver platter.

He forgot, though, that he could take my self respect.

And in order to keep my self respect intact FOR MYSELF - I had to leave him and the 25 years we had been together.

Giving up all of the "stuff" was well worth it! I found happiness within. None of the stuff mattered to me when I needed to respect myself enough to end it.

But he was shocked... And frankly at that point I didn't care how he felt...he showed me exactly who he was - he wasn't who I THOUGHT he was.

But I am free - free from the lies and denial. And he is stuck with being a real jerk...and nothing can make that different for him.

Change is good. Change brings hope that things can get better.

You know exactly what you need to know or you wouldn't have posted here.

And you know what you need to do to have some self respect.
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Old 2nd September 2016, 2:42 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by jay12 View Post
She would party with them minus me and she even brought a guy home with her once.
What does this mean?

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Originally Posted by jay12 View Post
She became somewhat distant during our second year of marriage and our lovve life floundered. About May of the second year she got a phone call which turned out to be the doctors office advising her that the pregnancy test was positive. She hung up, looked at me, told me she was pregnant and that she would be having an abortion. When I asked why, she simply said that she did not want a baby. I could not recall the last time we had sex, so I was a little taken aback. She had the abortion and we did not talk about it again.
Are you implying she was pregnant with another man's child?

Wow. Denial isn't just a river...

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Old 2nd September 2016, 3:02 AM   #20
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. Also, as stated, life is very good for the both of us right now.
So why don't you continue with your "very good life"? why are you here?
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Old 2nd September 2016, 4:50 AM   #21
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Wow, I can't believe how many of you seem to agree that my wife actually has been unfaithful. Out of the blue one of the guys in our group who actually new my wife before I met her told me that "I was naive".
Our life today is good, a couple months ago she moved into a seperate bedroom because I snore. She still slios into bed with me once a week for some great sex.
I have checked all known mail and i set her phone up and know exactly what is on it. And there is absolutly no smoking gun.
This is why I question myself and think that perhaps I have mistakenly put actions together and my delusion is that I think my wife has cheated, when she really hasn't.
It is a strange life I seem to lead.
Are you guys really convinced that she has been unfaithfull or is that the conclusion you have drawn based on my interpretation of my circumstance?
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Old 2nd September 2016, 5:13 AM   #22
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So why don't you continue with your "very good life"? why are you here?
So that is a good question. I guess I am here because there is no one else I can bounce these question off of, because every one I know also knows my wife.
I still love her and she loves me. If anything inappropriate happened in the past, then it has been a couple years since and we enjoy a good life.
Beihg in our 50's it would be tough both financially and emotionally to split. Also there are our daughters tovthink about. They love both of us and would never have a clue that anything is amiss.
I am shocked at how many here seem to side with my Othello delusion, maybe I have misjudged this.
Good grief, this was not what I thought I would find.
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Old 2nd September 2016, 6:35 AM   #23
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Grow a pair

Dude come on if you want to believe in Santa Clause the tooth fairy, and all that other BS. then go right ahead keep your head in the sand obvious that you came here for a reason and you know just as well as we do she's probably been doing it the whole time from when it sounds like. Your buddies of like an answe probably been doing it the whole time from when it sounds like. Your Buddy ain't your buddy. You need to read that book no more Mr. nice guy. Because you have been getting walk over your whole marriage... And she didn't have respect for you at all... I mean think about it have you been a good role model for your daughters.?
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Old 2nd September 2016, 6:43 AM   #24
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After her next 'date' when she comes home with saturated panties why not use a semen detection kit on them? I think it's called Checkmate.

Then you'll have proof of semen versus vaginal discharge.
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Old 2nd September 2016, 6:53 AM   #25
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Cheating is a character issue. She has a character flaw.

You are an enabler that has looked the other way for a quarter of century so you don't have to deal it.

when you are ready to open your eyes to reality, you will see.
This is a real thing. And the auto-pilot lying they do without a second's hesitation. This was my life and I had no clue for decades.

Don't stop here. Keep digging. The out-of-town ruse with the PI is the best way to get confirmation fast.
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Old 2nd September 2016, 8:17 AM   #26
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So that is a good question. I guess I am here because there is no one else I can bounce these question off of, because every one I know also knows my wife.
I still love her and she loves me. If anything inappropriate happened in the past, then it has been a couple years since and we enjoy a good life.
Beihg in our 50's it would be tough both financially and emotionally to split. Also there are our daughters tovthink about. They love both of us and would never have a clue that anything is amiss.
I am shocked at how many here seem to side with my Othello delusion, maybe I have misjudged this.
Good grief, this was not what I thought I would find.
Your daughters are adults. If you were to split, they would be somewhat sad of course and they would have the issue of who's house to visit first on the holidays, but they would otherwise be unscathed. People use "the children" as their own hang up. Your adult children will be fine and not harmed in any way.

The chances are once they find out that their reaction is going to be, "..it's about time you woke up and grew a pair.."
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Old 2nd September 2016, 8:20 AM   #27
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Jay of course she is cheating, you know that...

Jay of course she is cheating, you know that. What's more is that she has been sleeping around on you the entire marriage.


She cheated when the marriage started and aborted the other man baby. You should have dumped her then if you had any self respect.


I mean, dude you know that she is sleeping around, she is not even hiding it that well.


Question is, are you going to continue to be a Cuckold husband or are you going to get rid of her.


I hope you come to realize what is really and has really been going on for the last 20 years.


Wow, I am sorry for what you are dealing with...
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Old 2nd September 2016, 8:24 AM   #28
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Well I guess I need to reassess my current situation. Having said that, maybe her wandering days are over and we will be able to live out the rest of our lives comfortably.
She sure is good at covering though. I am very good friends with my buddy's wife, so maybe I should set up a coffee with her and see what she thinks. She is well awsre that her husband has been cheating with many different women since she married him.
She has taken him back more than a couple times, but then she catches him again, so maybe she can shed some light on the situation.
Thanks very much for your comments so far, never had so many people tell me that my concerns may have some validity.
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Old 2nd September 2016, 8:54 AM   #29
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jay12,
I say this kindly - IMO you don't seem to be too bothered about this situation.

So it seems you are either very controlled or very passive.

Most guys I know, if they suspected their SO of cheating would be hell-bent on finding out and would be getting primed to punch the other guy's lights out.

Do you have a (latent) cuckold fetish? If you do then that's fine, whatever rocks your boat, but if you do please own it.

People here are making suggestions and you just seem wishy-washy about the whole thing, which is very frustrating for those of us who are trying to help you.

What do you actually want from the posters here?
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Old 2nd September 2016, 8:54 AM   #30
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Well I guess I need to reassess my current situation. Having said that, maybe her wandering days are over and we will be able to live out the rest of our lives comfortably.
She sure is good at covering though. I am very good friends with my buddy's wife, so maybe I should set up a coffee with her and see what she thinks. She is well awsre that her husband has been cheating with many different women since she married him.
She has taken him back more than a couple times, but then she catches him again, so maybe she can shed some light on the situation.
Thanks very much for your comments so far, never had so many people tell me that my concerns may have some validity.
Well, you sure took that in stride... This is blowing my mind. Are you just keeping a stiff upper lip or are you really that detached? Is "maybe her wandering days are over" just conjecture? Whether it happened, you just shrug and just go on from here?
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