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The big question


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 30th December 2017, 6:08 PM   #1
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The big question

She has sent pictures to literally a hundred or more men from craigslist and other sites. When I say pictures, I mean everything. She has admitted to several affairs, all one night stands with the exception of the five month affair I just caught her in. This affair featured sex in my home, love songs, smiling together photos at the park, and even matching "wedding" rings. After discovering them, she confessed to the previous infidelities, of which I was unaware. Both were part of a sex group online. They freely posted pictures and bragged about the affair. She freely even told my secrets. We have a 5year old. So, do love like Jesus would and forgive and try to repair our home or burn this thing down, divorce her, and move on? To be fair, she has caught me having two one night stands very early in our 8year old relationship.

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Old 30th December 2017, 6:21 PM   #2
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Is this a serious or a rhetorical question?? Just so there is no doubt: Run!

And being Christian doesn't mean having no backbone. If you recall Jesus threw out the moneychangers from the temple. He would not let someone defile His home.
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Old 30th December 2017, 6:32 PM   #3
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The thought is to love like a hopeless romantic. Be the best person ever and not have our daughter come from a broken home. If we separated, the female usually gains custody. If that happens my daughter's moral compass will be calibrated by her mother. It sucks. Its not fair to me. But, am I putting my daughter first if we aren't together?
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Old 30th December 2017, 6:43 PM   #4
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I'd have a tough time seeing that. You want to teach your daughter to love and respect herself, and it is hard to teach her that if you aren't loving and respecting YOURSELF by staying in such an awful marriage and in the process, implicitly condoning cheating.

Which leads me to my next point: You also want to teach her that cheating in a marriage is unacceptable, right?

Meanwhile many dads do end up w full or at least partial custody. Get a good attorney to protect both yourself and your daughter.

Time to wake up!!

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Old 30th December 2017, 7:37 PM   #5
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1. She has had countless sexual affairs and has put your health at risk for STD's. Get tested now.
2. She brings strange men to home and bed to have sex. I assume that your daughter is in the house as well. You are willing to put your child at risk as well?

You clearly would have to be masochistic to stay with her. How much humiliation and disrespect are you willing to endure? If you do not respect yourself then who will?

This clearly will end very badly for you. Talk about being in denial.
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Old 30th December 2017, 8:58 PM   #6
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She is a serial cheater. You can stay and try but I have yet to see someone really turn this around. I suffered with a serial cheater for ten years. I wont ever do that again.

File for divorce and full custody.

Hate to sound negative but there is really a better life after this. Once you get away from her you will wonder why you didn't leave sooner.

Its the only real regret I have. The damage my xW did to me and my kids can never be fully undone.
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:59 PM   #7
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Your marriage is too damaged to ever have a good marriage. You can be a better father to your child if you show your daughter that multiple serious violations of trust, commitment, and love have to have serious consequences. Do not use your daughter as an excuse for you to fail to take actions that will help your daughter and you have a better life. Your wife is seriously damaged and you probably are also damaged. You are young enough to start over and build a much better life for you and your daughter.


Betrayal has serious consequences; ask Judas Iscariot
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Old 30th December 2017, 11:03 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justcallmebob View Post
So, do love like Jesus...
Don't put this on Jesus!

Read Jesus' Sermon on the Mount and try to get a deeper/better spiritual understanding of it, if it's truly important to you to love as he does. And, in that case, also read what Jesus has to say about sex and sexual relationships, before you decide what you want to do.

Jesus Christ does not forgive outside of the Law of God, so, if you truly want to do as Christ does, then you'd better make sure that you know the Law before you try to obey it.
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Old 31st December 2017, 6:41 AM   #9
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Jesus ain’t going to help you buddy. You have two choices.

(1) get her out of your life
(2) continue to eat the **** sandwiches headed your way

Your call, but there is no grey area here. And before making the decision, stop using your child as an excuse to walk around putting up with this.
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Old 31st December 2017, 6:52 AM   #10
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Any man who would ask this question should stay.
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Old 31st December 2017, 8:51 AM   #11
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Are you kidding me???

Are you kidding me???

Really, what man would ever, ever take a woman like this back?

The kind of man that would take a woman like your wife back is the weakest, most beta fool in the world.

You have to know that. But maybe that is the kind of man you are, are you?

No, you burn this thing to the ground. I mean, PLEASE...
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Old 31st December 2017, 8:57 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Justcallmebob View Post
She has sent pictures to literally a hundred or more men from craigslist and other sites. When I say pictures, I mean everything. She has admitted to several affairs, all one night stands with the exception of the five month affair I just caught her in. This affair featured sex in my home, love songs, smiling together photos at the park, and even matching "wedding" rings. After discovering them, she confessed to the previous infidelities, of which I was unaware. Both were part of a sex group online. They freely posted pictures and bragged about the affair. She freely even told my secrets. We have a 5year old. So, do love like Jesus would and forgive and try to repair our home or burn this bitch down, divorce her, and move on? To be fair, she has caught me having two one night stands very early in our 8year old relationship.
Go see an attorney and find out your rights and the likely outcome of any custody battles, before you make any decision.
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Old 31st December 2017, 9:20 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Justcallmebob View Post
The thought is to love like a hopeless romantic. Be the best person ever and not have our daughter come from a broken home. If we separated, the female usually gains custody. If that happens my daughter's moral compass will be calibrated by her mother. It sucks. Its not fair to me. But, am I putting my daughter first if we aren't together?
Your moral compass isn’t all that great either considering that you also cheated and had one night stands yourself. So, maybe step off your high horse and realize that your daughter has two cheaters for parents.

Sounds like your wife cheated to get back at you so that you could feel the pain that she felt when you cheated and she decided that the best way to “burn you down” was by cheating on you 100 times as hard as you cheated on her. I guess she decided what goes around comes around.
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Old 31st December 2017, 9:24 AM   #14
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justcallmebob,
You seem to have lost something. Just to remind you, here's what it looks like;

Spinal Anatomy | Spinal Regions | Bones and Discs | Vertebrae | Spinal Cord

when you find yours again, get lawyered up and start kicking some a$$, and I don't mean the equine kind.

Good luck
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