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On the verge to lose my marriage and my wonderful and lovable husband


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 30th December 2017, 11:02 AM   #91
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Your husband is never going to look at you the same way again. He will never let you climb back on top of the pedestal he had you on so it's best to figure out what you are going to do with the rest of your life. It's good you are in therapy and now miss sex with your husband but it's too late.
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Old 30th December 2017, 11:22 PM   #92
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So, finally I had a session with Counsellor and I shared lot of things about me, my husband, affair and marriage and counsellor responded that you have to work a lot on yourself



If you are wise you will follow your counselorís advice and take actions to work on yourself. I know you want your husband to come back to you but those chances a very low. Even if your husband comes back to you will not have a great marriage. Working on yourself so that you understand a lot more about love, commitment, trustworthyness, and sacrifice will give you the best chance of you ever having a successful marriage. If you do not work on yourself you will have very bad relationships with husbands.




You have taken some steps to get better (refused the OM and beginning to be remorseful) but get all the help that you can so that you can continue (years) to take actions to get better.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:42 PM   #93
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Hi everyone, best wishes for new year 2018, today I sent messages to me in laws and my parents and the message got delivered and I got the new year wish from my in-laws and parents.


My parents dropped a bomb on me, they said my husband had a word with my parents and my husband told my parents ďmy ex-boyfriend will be charged with adultery under Indian penal Code 498a and ex bf will serve the punishment in the form of imprisonment (in jail) for some years( in this case my ex bf will be fired from his organization and a case is going to be filed against me for cheating and fraud and adultery and I will be fired from my organization, in that case, and I will be under imprisonment for some years.


By the way my husband greeted my parents and wished them a new year, he did not say or abused anything bad about me or my ex bf.


I was shocked, today is new year day, how the new year is going to begin, I never though that my husband can do such things, now I can see my husband other face.


I do understand my mistake and horrible acts, but why my husband is going to make it more worst.


Donít know why?


I am worried for my ex bf, my life, and more important my husband life, I donít know what this new year is going to rewards us.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:06 PM   #94
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Originally Posted by unique women View Post

My parents dropped a bomb on me, they said my husband had a word with my parents and my husband told my parents ďmy ex-boyfriend will be charged with adultery under Indian penal Code 498a and ex bf will serve the punishment in the form of imprisonment (in jail) for some years( in this case my ex bf will be fired from his organization and a case is going to be filed against me for cheating and fraud and adultery and I will be fired from my organization, in that case, and I will be under imprisonment for some years.

...I am worried for my ex bf, my life, and more important my husband life, I donít know what this new year is going to rewards us.
Now is not the time to start worrying about your husband, now is the time to start protecting yourself. I suggest you alert your ex bf too
Get legal advice. and find out how likely he would be to be successful here or is this all just bitter hot air.

YOU need to start realising that your husband is no longer that lovely man you married, you wronged him and he is now your enemy.
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:20 PM   #95
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Originally Posted by unique women View Post
My parents dropped a bomb on me, they said my husband had a word with my parents and my husband told my parents ďmy ex-boyfriend will be charged with adultery under Indian penal Code 498a and ex bf will serve the punishment in the form of imprisonment (in jail) for some years( in this case my ex bf will be fired from his organization and a case is going to be filed against me for cheating and fraud and adultery and I will be fired from my organization, in that case, and I will be under imprisonment for some years.
It would appear base on a quick google search that the boyfriend has indeed committed a criminal act under section 497 (not 498a) and could face five years in prison for trespassing on the property of another man, however, this law applies only to the male and not the adulterous woman. Based on the article the woman will not face criminal charges and is not in danger of being imprisoned.

Indian Adultery Law

Section 498a is about abuse of women and does not seem to apply.


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I do understand my mistake and horrible acts, but why my husband is going to make it more worst. Donít know why?
OP, you seem to have such a childlike naivete about all of this. You related the whole story without any expression of conscience or remorse, and you continue to be bewildered and confused as to why everyone is making such a big deal of it. You actually expect that your husband should be able to just overlook a mistake and give you another chance, which you believe you deserve. In the quoted text above, you say you understand your mistake, yet in the same sentence you ask why your husband would want to make it "worst."

Have you considered the possibility that he's seriously pissed off?



(If you are a troll, well played.)
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:20 PM   #96
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I am not sure which part of India you live in but this is rare these days (infidelity imprisonment). However, you should get legal advice to protect yourself.

Finally, accept that your marriage is over and that you single-handedly destroyed it. There is just nothing redeeming in what you did. After being confronted by your husband, you had sex with the other guy again?! And then, got upset with a poster who criticized your lover?!

OP, if you truly love your husband, let him go. Give him the divorce he desires without argument and apologize to him and his family for wasting their time and hurting them. Promise to never contact them again and keep that promise. That is the most loving and dignified thing you can do for them now.
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Old 1st January 2018, 7:35 PM   #97
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Originally posted by unique women
I was shocked, today is new year day, how the new year is going to begin, I never thought that my husband can do such things, now I can see my husband other face.

You are the one that created your husbandís ďother faceĒ. He is reacting just like many men would when they have been stabbed in the back by the woman that promised to be loyal. What you did to your husband is very serious and does great damage to a relationship.


You do not understand how devastating what you did to your husband is. You are very sorry that you are starting to pay the consequences of your betrayal; you are very concerned about YOU. However, your failure to understand and feel strongly your devastating violation of trust and loyalty is a great detriment to your character and to anyone wanting to take a chance at having you as a trustworthy and loyal GF or wife.


If your story is real then GET ALL THE HELP THAT YOU CAN to get you to become a better person. Your counselor has told you that you need to work on YOU! What are you doing to improve your deficits including deficiency in loyalty and trust?
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Old 1st January 2018, 7:53 PM   #98
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That section 497 sounds like a thing I can get behind. If it were passed in America, they would have to let all the murderers and druggies go and even then there wouldn't be enough room for all the OM's that would clog up the system. Well, when your boyfriend is in the klinker for those 5 years, I am sure he will learn to cozy up to the alpha dogs for 'protection'. Don't worry so much for your boyfriend - you can bake him a cake and feed it to him on visiting days... Save enough for the guards and I'm sure they'll treat him right...
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Old 1st January 2018, 11:11 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by Poutrew View Post
That section 497 sounds like a thing I can get behind. If it were passed in America, they would have to let all the murderers and druggies go and even then there wouldn't be enough room for all the OM's that would clog up the system. Well, when your boyfriend is in the klinker for those 5 years, I am sure he will learn to cozy up to the alpha dogs for 'protection'. Don't worry so much for your boyfriend - you can bake him a cake and feed it to him on visiting days... Save enough for the guards and I'm sure they'll treat him right...
It is actually a crime in 48 of 50 States and a felony in 6. It is rarely charged in any, but has been a few times in recent years, all in the Bible belt.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:11 AM   #100
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I know, i have betrayed my husband, as far video and pics are concernd these are made by my Ex bf.

Definitely , one day i am going to have kids with my current husband.

You can laugh and make fun of me, because of my mistake.

I am alone and sad right now, but definitely one day i will be with my husband.
A mistake? It's not a mistake when you purposely continued doing it!

You seem to have no idea what kind of pain YOUR ACTIONS and selfishness have caused to your loved ones.

Leave your husband alone. You've ruined everything about the marriage. You trampled all over your husband and he wants to be rid of you.

Save him from more pain and offer him a divorce.

You really need help - ask a professional to help you with your narcissistic/sociopathic tendencies.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:39 AM   #101
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Quick Update,

had a meeting with two lawyers and discussed my case, lawyers told me, most probably, my ex bf will be charged under 497 and 498 under Indian penal Code and will serve the punishment for some years in imprisionment as the evidence are strong and there is no sign of any abuse or violence from my husband side, so things are in favour of my husband.

as these two sections and acts 497 and 498 are so much effective in India.

Second update
: Both lawyers told me : Divorce can be done on many aspects, such as adultery or infidelity,domestic violence, fraudaulent or trust issue or abuse issue,compatability issue or financial issue or health issue or mutual consent and apart from that there are many other apsects and reason for divorce.

as per discussion with lawyer ,in my case probability of divorce is high on two factors either its mutual consent,

second adultery or infidelity on my part and fraud intentions,(as i was not virgin during the marriage time,which i have not told about my husband, so thats a fraud and divorce can be granted on ths reason in india.)

illegal trespassing in my husband house by my ex bf.

third update, i and my ex bf did such things in my home, which belongs to my husband , so thats illegal in India, being a married man or lady its a crime and illegal in india to have sexual or emotional relations outside of marriage,


So my ex bf and i are in big trouble just because of our stupid and idiotic acts

Only thing i want right now is to have a discussion with my husband and i know people will tell me its too late, but i dont have any other option.

Last update
, Police went to my ex bf house and office, now my ex bf wife, parents, and other family member,relatives and pals knows that what he did to my husband , i am clueless and not sure what to do rigth now ?

i am crying while typing , i dont know where to go,
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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:53 AM   #102
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It's not only what your exBF did to your husband - it's mainly what you've done to your husband!

You did this. Why do you act like you aren't responsible for all the harm and shame YOU have caused?

You have no right to talk to your husband. OFFER him a divorce so he can get past this nightmare you've caused to him.


I hope you will grow up... I say that kindly.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:27 AM   #103
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So your husband wants you in jail? I didn't think he was that way from everything you've said.

Why bother offering you a good settlement knowing this is what he planned.

He already got your Ex fired and prevented his marriage...now this.

I do feel sorry for you and your whole family. I don't know how he can send good wishes to your parents after he has plans for you to go to jail.

Don't get in touch with your Ex like someone suggested. You need to look out for yourself.

He must really hate you to do this. I truly feel sorry for you.
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