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On the verge to lose my marriage and my wonderful and lovable husband


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 21st December 2017, 1:25 PM   #16
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wrong thread
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:35 PM   #17
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I do not think you could have done much more to guarantee that your husband never ever wants talk to you ever again, save perhaps murdering his mother or burning his house to the ground.
ROFL!!! Well, then there's that!!! But so very true.

I just love the narcissism flowing out of the side of her head. " I would always defend my husband." - (Except when in the sack with OM...)

"I truly love dear husband." (Except when filming bukkake with OM).

Tone deaf and no self awareness....Please, no kids. They would be just ruined being raised in this environment.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:46 PM   #18
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Unhappy On the verge to lose my marriage and my wonderful and lovable husband

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ROFL!!! Well, then there's that!!! But so very true.

I just love the narcissism flowing out of the side of her head. " I would always defend my husband." - (Except when in the sack with OM...)

"I truly love dear husband." (Except when filming bukkake with OM).

Tone deaf and no self awareness....Please, no kids. They would be just ruined being raised in this environment.

I know, i have betrayed my husband, as far video and pics are concernd these are made by my Ex bf.

Definitely , one day i am going to have kids with my current husband.

You can laugh and make fun of me, because of my mistake.

I am alone and sad right now, but definitely one day i will be with my husband.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:49 PM   #19
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Unhappy On the verge to lose my marriage and my wonderful and lovable husband

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I do not think you could have done much more to guarantee that your husband never ever wants talk to you ever again, save perhaps murdering his mother or burning his house to the ground.
At this moment, everyone is bashing me for my mistake,makingsarcastic and rude comments.

God bless you, have a good day.

Note :I love my mother and father in law in the same way as i love my parents.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:54 PM   #20
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I know, i have betrayed my husband, as far video and pics are concernd these are made by my Ex bf.

Definitely , one day i am going to have kids with my current husband.

You can laugh and make fun of me, because of my mistake.

I am alone and sad right now, but definitely one day i will be with my husband.

Those videos were made against your will? You were forced to upload them to your home computer?

That's not what we call a 'mistake'.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:59 PM   #21
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But my husband was quiet,didnot reacted and acted normally, so he invited my inlaws and mom and dad and he asked my inlaws and my parents and me, there is some surprise and on our TV he showed all those videos and pics to me ,my inlaws and my parents, now

my husband has left the house and not contacted me since that day and tomorrow is our 2nd marriage anniversary.

I know, what i have done thats wrong ,but everyone one do mistake.

My inlaws dont talk to me and my parenst they are upset with me.

so during these days,my ex boyfriend is trying to console me and again we had sex and my ex bf abused my husband and said my husband is a loser and old guy, who dont know how to treat a woman.

i need some suggestions and advice.

This was a little more then bouncing a check. No you are not entitled to "one mistake" when it comes to having a physical affair. A mistake is putting yourself in a risky situation & getting caught off guard when the OM kisses you. It is not having sex with him, taking trips with him & saving homemade porn of your trysts.


You need to apologize to your husband & BEG him for marriage counseling. You need to end everything with your EXs & give your husband total transparency in your actions. Since you are both software people that may include passwords, keyloggers & GPS trackers. It's highly unlikely that he will take you back. I suspect that he showed both families the videos to shame & humiliate you but also to make sure his parents hate you so much that if he got weak & considered taking you back, they would talk him out of it.


Your best option here is probably a good lawyer. Then figure out a way to make it up to your own parents.
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:22 PM   #22
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What you did would make a western man, in a promiscuous society leave you.

Your virgin, Hindu husband won't forgive this.

Spend some time on your own. Think about what you want for your future. Make new plans without your husband. He doesn't want you.
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:31 PM   #23
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[QUOTE=unique women;7490993]hi,

i have been married to my husband for around two
years.Me ( age -26 years )and My Husband (27 years old) are Currently living in India,we both are from India and both of us belongs to Hindu Community.
...

My husband lost his virginity to me during our honeymoon post marriage.and prior to my marriage i was in a relationship with two guys, so i was not a virgin.i was hiding this fact to my husband,

...

so after 4 months during our marriage, my husband was suppossed to vist California,United states on a business trip for 1 month.

during those days, i feel lonely and contacted one of my ex boyfriend( who is married ).some how, after 2-3 days,we had sex and both cheated on our partners and my ex boyfriend made video, took our nude pics, and my nude pics and prior to my marriage ,he made several video ... i saved and copied it on my home PC.

so whenever my Husband is away on a business trip outside India, i used to have sex with my ex boyfriend, once we went to switzerland and Paris
together for two weeks and stayed in the same room and made a video and pics.

...

So during these days,my ex boyfriend is trying to console me and again we had sex and my ex bf abused my husband and said my husband is a loser and old guy, who dont know how to treat a woman.

[QUOTE]

I'm not sure if this is a language barrier or if you truly do not grasp the gravity and extent of your betrayal.

First, you say you lied to your husband about your virginity. That is one bombshell he got hit with when he discovered these videos. So not only did he learn that you've been cheating with him since 4 months after you married, but that you had sex BEFORE marriage when you told him you had not. Right?

Secondly, you say he had a one month long business trip which led to you getting "lonely" and contacting your ex (initially). If you can't handle your H leaving for one freaking month, you do have serious issues. No wonder he is questioning EVERYTHING. Not only this, but you have betrayed him in hideous ways almost immediately after marrying him.

Third, you went on extravagant trips with this guy AND allowed him to take pics and video the two of you during your sex acts. AND saved them to your computer. Just a million stabs in his heart, okay??

On top of it all, now that he's left, you've allowed your ex to "console" you by continuing to have sex with you?!

Finally, I'm not sure what the Hindu community in general feels about infidelity, but whatever that is, you've got to contend with it.

You may never get your H back. If you even want that one in a million chance, you should probably stop having sex with your ex bf.

I am not saying any of this to insult you or be rude. I've been the wayward wife. It is a horrible place to be. You've done terrible things. But the first thing you have to do is STOP! Then you have to actually admit to yourself what you've done. If you get there...maybe we can help you further.
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:31 PM   #24
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Iím curious as to why you and your exboyfriend (who you describe as your first love) broke up and did not get married.
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:36 PM   #25
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Blame shifting. You TOOK the videos from him and put them on your own damn computer... Give me a break!
Look here, I know that our cultures are different and languages get in the way. But seriously, you need to know this. You cheating, is soley on you. You are broken and unsafe.
Your husband deserves a safe partner that doesn't get "exploited" on a porn version of Bollywood...These were all YOUR choices. Did you even think of getting to the doctor for STD checks? Ooops.
Did you look around your enviornment and see all the things and times your "inlaws" were involved in your life? Oooops.
Did your parents raise you to act and behave like this? I know many an Indian friend here in the US. And pride and honor play big parts in their families lives. Bet your father is just loving getting up everyday having to see friends and family along with co-workers knowing that your "porn videos" are being circulated around.
I am not trying to make fun of you. But this is your new "reality". You need to own your decisions, make yourself better and healthier. Start finding complete remorse for destroying another human beings life. You said your are hindu no? What does your background tell you about destroying life? You might as well have taken a gun and shot the poor man. Same difference. Except now, he gets to get up everyday and relive the trauma.
You are in limerence with your OM. You actually watched your family view your "porno" and yet went to exBF's house and had sex again.... Karma much?
Like I said. Leave the poor ex husband alone. You need to work on yourself with counseling and other outlets for your time. ie. hobbies and community work would be a good place to start. And keep your clothes on for a change!
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:45 PM   #26
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Iím a pretty forgiving guy but if I was in his position and did what he did.... invite everyone over for that movie Iím sure he thought it over very carefully and decided that was it.

My moneys on he is done and he is mentally checked out !

Your best chance if any is to stop contacting him and give him his space to keep moving or have a change of heart
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:55 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by unique women View Post
I know, i have betrayed my husband, as far video and pics are concernd these are made by my Ex bf.

Definitely , one day i am going to have kids with my current husband.

You can laugh and make fun of me, because of my mistake.

I am alone and sad right now, but definitely one day i will be with my husband.
This is doubtful. He has already wisely left you because of the lifestyle choice you made where you're married but get to have sex with another man. He didn't make that choice, but he did make the choice not to accept it, or you, anymore. Good for him.
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Old 21st December 2017, 3:26 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by unique women View Post
I know, i have betrayed my husband, as far video and pics are concernd these are made by my Ex bf.

Definitely , one day i am going to have kids with my current husband.

You can laugh and make fun of me, because of my mistake.

I am alone and sad right now, but definitely one day i will be with my husband.
Why?

Why should he take you back?
Why would he want to have kids with you?

I mean you are here telling us not to speak poorly about your boyfriend. What about anything you have done and are doing makes you appealing to reconcile with? Try to explain just why your husband would want you back. Because, to the rest of us it's hard to understand what would motivate him to that decision.
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Old 21st December 2017, 3:50 PM   #29
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I know little of Hindu society and maybe marriage is considered for life, but this man chose to etch the porn videos and pics of you and your lover on the brains of his parents.
No-one is ever going to forget that day and that sounds to me like a man who is done.

He is a man who has deliberately burned the bridges and scuppered the boats to make sure he has cut off any way back.
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Old 21st December 2017, 3:51 PM   #30
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I know, what i have done thats wrong ,but everyone one do mistake.
Yeah, that's quite a whopper of a "mistake". If you really love your husband, do him a huge favor and let him find a good woman who is capable of a real relationship. You are not that person.

By the way, kudos to your husband. He handled this like a boss.

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Tomorrow is our 2nd year of marriage anniversary, don’t know how and with whom to celebrate.
You never had a marriage to begin with. Just a piece of paper.

Last edited by WilyWill; 21st December 2017 at 3:56 PM..
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