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My love of 5 years dropped a bomb on me!!


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 20th December 2017, 12:21 PM   #46
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Count your blessings, I KNOW you invested 5 years but better than being married and having kids with her. Then, it would be a lot harder to walk away. She has too many issues for you to deal with. She even cheated on you. It's not like she is genuinely sorry and trying to work things out. A relationship is 2 people invested, not just one.
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Old 20th December 2017, 11:52 PM   #47
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I went through something similar. I got married at 28 to what I thought was the love of my life. We got married within a year and then moved far away where I started a job. I did well at that job. She had just about anything she wanted, but there was a catch. I had to travel.

Well one day I come home and she just leaves. I never saw her again, but I found out she had an affair.

Itís not your failure. Itís hers. We all make choices and sometimes they are dumb.

I do have some good news for you. When you are done grieving you will be better. You will find someone you love and can grow old with. It hurt me for about a year. The pain subsides and you grow stronger.

Cut off contact. Your stuff isnít worth your sanity.
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Old 21st December 2017, 8:52 AM   #48
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Just wondering why you call yourself "typartytonight"? Usually (though not always) betrayed spouses starting their first thread on LS have names that reflect their current situations. No rule, of course. I'm sorry for all you went through with your ex-gf. Hope she's out of your life now.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:06 PM   #49
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Just wondering why you call yourself "typartytonight"? Usually (though not always) betrayed spouses starting their first thread on LS have names that reflect their current situations. No rule, of course. I'm sorry for all you went through with your ex-gf. Hope she's out of your life now.
It's a song and a username I have used on other sites before. It has no hidden meaning and only serves a purpose of being able to remember usernames. I don't really think about those things...nor do I personally care about meaningful handles. Just a name.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 12:20 AM   #50
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tvpartytonight
Do you guys really think she is "in love" with this guy so quickly?!
A week before this happened, she told me she wanted to spend her life with me.
Your GF has no idea what real love is!






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This has me in a state of shock. I wonder if she will regret this? Not sure if I would ever take her back unless she got help. Any positive advice?
My positive advice is for you to FORCE yourself to put her out of your mind. When you slip and start thinking about her in any way then FORCE yourself to stop and instead think of something positive. Better yet DO something positive that has nothing to do with her.


Your GF is a drinker that is a bar tender and is a weak woman that has betrayed you more than once; you know what that produces. Do you want to try and carry that load?


You are at war for your emotional health; you have to choose either her or yourself as you cannot have both. What are you doing to build yourself back up?
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:48 AM   #51
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Hi tvparty, so are there any updates? How ate you doing? It is a terrible time to be alone for a young man. Do you have single guy friends that you can hang out with? Try and make it through the festive season having as much gun as you can. Do not let thoughts of your cheating GF bring you down. Why not try and meet good female company at places frequented by them? Not bars but at social gatherings, church functions and such like. Just do yourself a favour. Warm wished.
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Old 30th December 2017, 2:07 PM   #52
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The first couple weeks were great, but her patience in dealing with my healing over the infidelity started to wear thin quick. She started to stray. Her drinking amped up again and she retreated. She wanted me to be over the affair overnight and that was not possible.

I am currently keeping active no contact while I maneuver out of the house to avoid drama. I plan to go full No Contact in a couple days as soon as get out.

After all of this awful behavior and emotional abuse, I still do love her. I know who she is deep down and this is not like her. The death of her father and the coupling of her heavy drinking...changed her. Turned her cold on me.

Do you guys really think she is "in love" with this guy so quickly?! A week before this happened, she told me she wanted to spend her life with me.

This has me in a state of shock. I wonder if she will regret this? Not sure if I would ever take her back unless she got help. Any positive advice?
How she reacted to her father's death and to you are a huge red flag even without the affair. You got rid of her just in time. That's the way to think about this.

All the ways you feel are normal. You're so ahead of the game with No Contact. I'm sorry you have to suffer for her sake.
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Old 30th December 2017, 3:56 PM   #53
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Yeah, I get that... But then I guess you don't have a lot of self respect, and no offense.

Dude, if she begged you back it would be foolish if you took her back.

And yes, the word is crazy. My guess is that she is undiagnosed bi polar and her fathers death sent her into a manic state.

The thing is that you cannot fix that. If she came back, if she goes on meds, if she stopped drinking, if she stopped seeing the new guy, if you were monitoring her 24 hours a day, if, if, if, if.

What I am telling you is I have lived this. It does not work, no matter how much you love a woman, you cannot fix her and you never will.

I spent 26 years of my life with a woman like this and it was a nightmare.

Please believe what we are telling you...

I came to this thread late but there couldn't be more truth in what BP says about ifs. I had my ass handed to me by this lady who had a hedge fund of sorts on farm land and I had some questions about our farm. I said "if commodity prices stay high and if the government subsidies stay the same and if there are no changes to the crop insurance program" when she immediately cut me off. She said you just spit out 3 if's that if you are wrong on any one of them you'll lose your ass farming. It was embarrassing but so true. I'd run.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 4:08 AM   #54
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Hi tvparty, so are there any updates? How ate you doing? It is a terrible time to be alone for a young man. Do you have single guy friends that you can hang out with? Try and make it through the festive season having as much gun as you can. Do not let thoughts of your cheating GF bring you down. Why not try and meet good female company at places frequented by them? Not bars but at social gatherings, church functions and such like. Just do yourself a favour. Warm wished.
I am doing ok regardless. New Year, new horizons. She went and got married on New Years day. A friend showed me her photos she posted. She went and got married 3 weeks after we broke up. Bizarre. It is utterly mind blowing. I feel like it is a weird dream. I have nothing good to say about her. As I sit am sitting here, processing my feelings like a normal person does...and she is living in a fantasy realm. It feels unfair. I don't know what else to say about it.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 4:23 AM   #55
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Bizarre is right. Count you blessings that I was not you
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:56 AM   #56
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Hi tvpartytonight, sorry to know that your GF of 5 + years had a shotgun wedding with a guy she knew for barely a couple of months or so. In any case her actions tell you exactly what kind of person she is. There is no point your shedding any tears for someone like her or even allowing her memory to occupy your thoughts. For you it is good riddance of bad rubbish.

You should not sit in your room and mope but go out and have all the fun you can. There will be plenty of ladies out there who will love you for yourself and who would commit to you for life. Go out and find them. Warm wishes.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:14 AM   #57
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I am doing ok regardless. New Year, new horizons. She went and got married on New Years day. A friend showed me her photos she posted. She went and got married 3 weeks after we broke up. Bizarre. It is utterly mind blowing. I feel like it is a weird dream. I have nothing good to say about her. As I sit am sitting here, processing my feelings like a normal person does...and she is living in a fantasy realm. It feels unfair. I don't know what else to say about it.
Well, I'd say from your words, you've started recovery - feel like ...; ...nothing good to say about her; ...processing my feelings like a normal person does; ...unfair. It's all those things and would suck whether it was New Year's day or not. You have to do this, and you will be SO relieved at some point. You're rid of her.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:44 AM   #58
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Although you don't realize it fully just yet you have dodged a big bullet my friend.

She is an alky. She is seriously effed up! Count your blessings and move on. Someone who you deserve and who deserves you is in your future.
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Old 8th January 2018, 3:55 PM   #59
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She realized that she was too much of a piece of **** to be married to a guy like you. Let her and this loser stew in each other's juices. They deserve each other.


You on the other hand deserve a good woman and a good life. You'll find both.
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Old 8th January 2018, 5:20 PM   #60
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On the other hand...You have statistics on your side. Over 90% of relationships that start in infidelity end in failure not long after....

"You'll be fine Mr. Grafton, you will be just fine..." - Flight of the Intruder
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