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Having an affair w/ a MW


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:06 PM   #31
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Iím sure it would be bad.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:11 PM   #32
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I appreciate the honesty. No I did not mention my wife. I do love her very much and do not want to divorce her. In fact there is less than a zero percent chance I could live with the OW. She is neurotic and has lots of weird personality traits that I donít find attractive at all. I must admit I do love her on some level but could never marry her. No way. Itís probably more of a physical thing than anything because I find myself not wanting to talk less and less to the OW. I have issues that Iím not proud of. I donít mind the honest feedback. Itís actually helping me to see who I really am. Not a very good person.
You have issues like what? Be specific.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:12 PM   #33
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You are so full of excuses. That's all that is coming out of your mouth because you are not a brave man .
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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:15 PM   #34
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What's crazy to me is that the OP is willing to risk everything he says he lives to get laid...yet he doesn't even care much for the OW.


Just more evidence that some men will mess around anything that's offered to them.

Please seek professional help for yourself - you need to understand more about yourself to fix what's broken deep inside of you.

I say that with kindness.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:21 PM   #35
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Ok that is enough...

Ok that is enough...

You OP, need to man up. Oh poor me what a mess I got myself into.

Just stop all of this foolishness, and self victimization.

You are screwing her because you can, you know that is the truth. I know, believe me.

Your entire world, sooner or later is going to blow up and you have no idea how bad it will be.

Now, if you love your wife and family the suck it up and put your big girl panties on and end it now.

If you don't love your wife, I know you love your kids, the file for divorce and face the music.

I get it, you thought is would be fun to get a little strange because she is nuts and hot. And you were too big of a wimp to end it after the first couple of times.

Now look where you are at.

Listen brother, you do have issues, you are selfish and entitled and you need to grow up.

Either end the affair and/or file for divorce...
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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:40 PM   #36
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We are supposed to meet Wednesday. Normally I would be excited about it. Iím not at all.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 8:46 PM   #37
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We are supposed to meet Wednesday. Normally I would be excited about it. Iím not at all.
We aren't listening to this kind of whining anymore. Nobody cares. Tell us steps you're taking to right your life, and we'll care.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 9:12 PM   #38
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You are stuck, OP. Look up limerence. That is what you're feeling for your OW.

You know what you have to do... it's just a matter of when you'll be ready to do it. I'm not going to be hard on you, you'll get enough of that from everyone else.

Thing is... you'll probably have to hit bottom before you make any changes (get caught, confess, whatever...) It's an addiction. You hate yourself for what you're doing, and you want to stop, but you feel powerless. Believe me, I get that.

You will have to make the choice to stop. You'l have to make a stand and make a choice. It won't be easy. Read all the stories around here. You'll see both sides of it. You'll read things you don't want to read. You'll see that there's no happy ending in this situation.

Hopefully Jenkins will chime in soon... He really empathizes what you are experiencing. Other thing that will help is to keep posting. You've done the important first step: you've admitted there's a problem. Now it's up to you to keep going.

You can't continue. That roller coaster sucks. I was on it. I know the self-hatred and I know the obsession and I know how my selfish needs came first over everything else. Other thing you have to do is own every bit of this. That's not easy either. You will have to own your mistakes and how you let yourself get into this to begin with.

Good luck OP. When people post the harsh things to you, and they will, keep in mind they are coming from their experience and their pain: this is what your wife will experience when she finds out. Somewhere inside you know all of this... you just have to be ready to do something. Change this. You have the power.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 9:26 PM   #39
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I don't think Jenkins is comparable, Jenks actually cared deeply for his OW, OP has admitted that he doesn't even really like talking to his OW. This is purely sex and he knows it.

With that said it all addiction as you mentioned.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 10:35 PM   #40
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Itís a sorry mess that Iíve gotten myself into.
You are right and that is what you willfully partnering with the OW in betrayal for 3 years gets you!


Your willful selfish acts have harmed a lot of people and you owe it to your wife and family to do everything to put them first..


You were bold enough to crap on your wife and children for 3 years now be bold enough to take your consequences and spend the next decades putting your wife and children ahead of your selfish selfÖYou did the crime now do the time!

What actions have you taken to put your wife and children ahead of your selfish self?
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Old 23rd October 2017, 10:49 PM   #41
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We are supposed to meet Wednesday. Normally I would be excited about it. Iím not at all.
Well now aren't we supposed to feel sorry for you?

Boo Hoo - poor baby isn't excited to get laid anymore.

Maybe it's because you have to look yourself in the mirror knowing full well you may have given your wife a disease!

If you intend to meet Wednesday then at least do what's right and set your wife free! File for divorce and allow her to find a man who loves her AND acts like he does love her!
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Old 23rd October 2017, 11:06 PM   #42
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You know what really sucks is when I compare myself to my dad. Iím not half them man he was. I want to be
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Old 23rd October 2017, 11:31 PM   #43
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We are supposed to meet Wednesday. Normally I would be excited about it. Iím not at all.
Ummm, don't go?
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Old 24th October 2017, 12:04 AM   #44
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Brad....what is it that you're looking for here?
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Old 24th October 2017, 12:29 AM   #45
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I appreciate the honesty. No I did not mention my wife. I do love her very much and do not want to divorce her. In fact there is less than a zero percent chance I could live with the OW. She is neurotic and has lots of weird personality traits that I donít find attractive at all. I must admit I do love her on some level but could never marry her. No way. Itís probably more of a physical thing than anything because I find myself not wanting to talk less and less to the OW. I have issues that Iím not proud of. I donít mind the honest feedback. Itís actually helping me to see who I really am. Not a very good person.
so is risking everything worth it? Since you're not in love with this MW, you're in lust. It's about you and how she makes you feel in bed, like a king? You want to lose the life you've built with your wife and mess up your children's lives, all for what? A hot affair? You're not happy and you seem to be really down on yourself. I'm sure you're a good person just for 3 years you've made some bad choices that will eventually catch up to you. I'm surprised nobody has caught on. It is possible your wife knows something is 'off' with you but doesn't want to even think that you'd cheat on her.

How long are you going to live life like this?

time to get yourself to counseling and fix what's broken inside of you. If you don't you're gonna lose all that you love and one day look back full of regret from your selfish choices.
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