LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships > Infidelity

What is the best method for finding out?


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

Like Tree65Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 1st October 2017, 9:29 PM   #61
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Do you have access to the online banking? Debit purchases show up there...

Charging your phone on an outside outlet is a bit much. Never heard of doing that.

Guarding the phone is a really big red flag, as it suddenly taking out large amounts of cash. Could be an affair, gambling, or drugs....???
Yes, we do get bank statements. He uses debit for food, gas, a trip to the store etc. So he uses it for everything. But then takes out 300.00 a week on top.of that. It just seems odd considering he works out of town all week until the weekend. He buys groceries for the week for dinner and eats lunch out daily. I was just curious why so much cash and then use debit for everything else.
Gambling could be a possibility as it has been in the past a few times.But there isn't any casinos where he is working.
Drugs I wouldn't suspect at all. He would lose his whole career and his work is known for random drug tests.
Cally1975 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 9:45 PM   #62
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 57,484
Hire a PI. Then lay low and pretend all is good. Once you get information on him possibly cheating then confront him with evidence so he can't deny it.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 9:51 PM   #63
Established Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,017
Check your phone bill and get a voice activated recorder. Minimal cost and you can Velcro it under the front seat of his car seat.

You got some red flags here.
Marc878 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 9:52 PM   #64
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cally1975 View Post
Yes, we do get bank statements. He uses debit for food, gas, a trip to the store etc. So he uses it for everything. But then takes out 300.00 a week on top.of that. It just seems odd considering he works out of town all week until the weekend. He buys groceries for the week for dinner and eats lunch out daily. I was just curious why so much cash and then use debit for everything else.
Gambling could be a possibility as it has been in the past a few times.But there isn't any casinos where he is working.
Drugs I wouldn't suspect at all. He would lose his whole career and his work is known for random drug tests.
Yeah, that cash is very suspect . And frankly, if you are sharing a banking account, you have ever right to question it.
merrmeade and S2B like this.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 9:53 PM   #65
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cally1975 View Post
And makes you feel as if your crazy.
Oh, and P.S. Cheaters are very, very, very good at this. You are not crazy.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 9:57 PM   #66
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc878 View Post
Check your phone bill and get a voice activated recorder. Minimal cost and you can Velcro it under the front seat of his car seat.

You got some red flags here.
The thing that really stinks is we changed to a no contract cell phone company. So there is no possible way that I know of to see his phone activity. I have never heard of a voice activated recorder. I will have to check into that.
Cally1975 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 9:59 PM   #67
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
Hire a PI. Then lay low and pretend all is good. Once you get information on him possibly cheating then confront him with evidence so he can't deny it.
I may have to do that. The hard thing will be finding one where he is working out of town. It's like 5 hours from home.
Cally1975 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:02 PM   #68
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Oh, and P.S. Cheaters are very, very, very good at this. You are not crazy.
Yeah I am learning that. I think that's why my gut feeling is so strong. To tell me he never searched for that girl. He erased his searches and unfriended her after i confronted him.
Cally1975 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:03 PM   #69
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cally1975 View Post
Yeah I am learning that. I think that's why my gut feeling is so strong. To tell me he never searched for that girl. He erased his searches and unfriended her after i confronted him.
Right. You are NOT imagining it. I can't tell you how many times my ex told me I didn't remember something correctly or he "never said that," etc. I literally just rolled my eyes thinking about it lol!
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:25 PM   #70
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cally1975 View Post
I have this gut feeling my husband isn't being faithful. Let me list some reasons...
1. He uses his debit card for EVERYTHING. Lately he pulls out cash. Like 300.00 last week. Plus uses his debit card for everything else. When asked why he pulls cash out and then uses debit card for everything he flipped out and refused to answer. Flat out refused. It seemed odd to me for a married man to have a spending budget of like 500.00 a week.
2. He guards his cell phone at all times. Bathroom, shower, sleeping it goes under his pillow. If he is in the middle of charging his phone and goes out to do yardwork he unplugs it and plugs it in the outside outlet in plain sight. If he is ever showing me something on his phone and I hold it to look closer he stands right over me
3. He changed all passwords to his phone, e-mail etc.
4. He travels out of town a lot this past 6 months and the phone calls home have been less.
5. He never seems to want to go do things together this past 6 months. It's like he just wants to stay home.
6. When asked why he seems so crabby all the time he says he is in a funk and don't know why.

My one and only thing I can get into is his facebook. He had signed into his from my phone before. Last week he was out of town at a company meeting for an over night trip. Some gut feeling told me to look at his facebook. I think because I knew he was drinking. Well, he was searching this girl's name. This girl lives 3 states over but was visiting the same town my husband was in that same night. I knew that from a post she made. Then I seen he became friend with her. I confronted him on it amd he denied it like I was crazy!! He said I am not friends with that person. I have no idea who that person is. I would never search for her I don't even know her.
He has done things before that has made me question his honesty with me. But he is VERY confrontational and denies everything or brushes it off like I am crazy.
How can you concretely find out proof? When he hides his phone. Won't answer financial questions. And makes you feel as if your crazy.
Go online and look at the phone records- voice and text. No one that isn't cheating has a death grip on their phone like that. He is at best in an EA and possibly a PA when that girl came to town. When my WW was in that mode I saw her open it from the other room when she didn't take note of where I was and opened it later on her when I had the chance. Don't be weak here. If you have to grab it when he is in the shower and run then do it. By the way, if you have to have a secret code on your phone then you are cheating. Period. If you gotta have it on you like a body part you are cheating. It never ever fails. He just doesn't think you can figure that out. The smoking gun is in the phone. All you need to do is look at the phone records and you will have your answer.
40somethingGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:29 PM   #71
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by 40somethingGuy View Post
Go online and look at the phone records- voice and text. No one that isn't cheating has a death grip on their phone like that. He is at best in an EA and possibly a PA when that girl came to town. When my WW was in that mode I saw her open it from the other room when she didn't take note of where I was and opened it later on her when I had the chance. Don't be weak here. If you have to grab it when he is in the shower and run then do it. By the way, if you have to have a secret code on your phone then you are cheating. Period. If you gotta have it on you like a body part you are cheating. It never ever fails. He just doesn't think you can figure that out. The smoking gun is in the phone. All you need to do is look at the phone records and you will have your answer.
False. I'm single, but I will always have a code on my phone since I have a banking app on my phone, my email always "open," etc. Yes, my bank app requires a pin, but I'm still extra cautious since personal info can be accessed on my phone.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:29 PM   #72
Established Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cally1975 View Post
The thing that really stinks is we changed to a no contract cell phone company. So there is no possible way that I know of to see his phone activity. I have never heard of a voice activated recorder. I will have to check into that.
Best Buy, Walmart. Sony has a good dependable one. Get good batteries.

Look them up online. Read the operating instructions as some have a beep that you need to turn off, etc.
Marc878 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:29 PM   #73
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cally1975 View Post
I may have to do that. The hard thing will be finding one where he is working out of town. It's like 5 hours from home.
Did he change to a no contract phone carrier? Really, all you have to do is tell him to open up and hand over his phone or you will divorce him and take him to the cleaner. If you are that important to him he will do that. Don't buy the 'privacy' BS. His conduct is not one where he gets that privilege.
40somethingGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:31 PM   #74
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 182
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
False. I'm single, but I will always have a code on my phone since I have a banking app on my phone, my email always "open," etc. Yes, my bank app requires a pin, but I'm still ext

ra cautious since personal info can be accessed on my phone.
Secret code meaning you have to hide from your spouse. We all have codes on our phone but I know my spouses and she knows mine. I stand by what I said.
40somethingGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st October 2017, 10:34 PM   #75
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by 40somethingGuy View Post
Secret code meaning you have to hide from your spouse. We all have codes on our phone but I know my spouses and she knows mine. I stand by what I said.
Ah ok. Well, I will agree with that .
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Wim Hof Method -Anyone Tried it? TheArtist Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management 2 22nd July 2016 11:11 PM
So...dating/finding a long-term relationship is like finding a job? Bobbi7 General Relationship Discussion 48 16th March 2016 8:51 PM
NC right method? Weezy Second Chances 8 25th December 2008 11:07 PM
NC right method? Weezy Breaks and Breaking Up 0 22nd December 2008 2:32 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:43 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.