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Suspicious Bruises on Butt


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Old 1st October 2017, 10:34 AM   #1
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Suspicious Bruises on Butt

Hello, I'm new to this forum and hoping that in might be able to get some help / insight as to my partner's behaviour and bruising on her butt.
Things seemed to be off for a while and came to a head one day.
It started with noticing what I thought was men's cologne on her hair. I never said anything as she just came back from the yoga and I thought it might have have been sweat.
A couple weeks later I was looking for change in her purse, for the bus. I have a rule that I don't go into women's pursues but she was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her. Anyway, in a small wallet I found three condoms, old expired condoms, but condoms nonetheless.
That same night, when going to bed I noticed bruises on her butt. The common thing then this made me get very nervous and anxious. I asked what happened and she didn't know. She then jumped online and started trying to find reasons for the bruising. And then became very defensive and attacking me.
Then she said the following: "if I die from this you'll be sorry" "what if it is malnutrition or a blood disorder, did you ever think about that, huh?"
The best explanation as to a cause was something called "purpura" which isn't even close.
Now, she did let me take photos of the bruising to show her.
QUESTION: does this site allow photos to be posted, for feedback? It would be of her butt and I would of course be respectful.
I love this girl very much but have concerns and need to know of they are valid. She of course has denied everything.

On another note, she looks at her last few exes fb, IG, etc online daily. She said this is normal for women to do b/c they want to know about exes. I stumbled across this on our computer and she locked it down after I asked her about it.
She was very defensive about this as well
Help!
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:44 AM   #2
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I'm a woman and do not look at my exes daily, or even weekly. Every now and then maybe if I'm curious about what they're up to.

The last many I dated saw bruises like you described on his on and off cheating wife just before she left him for a new man. She just married him. (She also denied the bruises were anything)

I don't think you should post a pic, but are they on both sides?

Also, I never smell like men's cologne unless I've been very up close and personal with a man wearing cologne.
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:53 AM   #3
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Hmmm

Looking at exes a lot is not a good sign, what do you think bruises are from, sex?
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:53 AM   #4
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Her extreme defensiveness would be very suspicious to me...
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:59 AM   #5
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How long have you been with her? Is she known to bruise easily? Is there any discinerable shape to the bruising? I'm guessing she got defensive because you were outright accusing her of cheating. I've had a bruise here and there that I can't explain and don't remember the cause of it. Not on my butt though.

It's not normal to look at an exes social media on a daily basis and sweat does not smell like a man's cologne.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:07 AM   #6
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The bruises are like a hand prints on either side of her butt.
On the bottom crease of the butt there are bruise on either side, quite large. Then on the left side there are four small bruises high on her butt cheek that look like finger prints, and actually very the top of and inside where the butt starts. On the right side, it appears like a mark from being spanked.
I left out an important piece...she loves rough sex. I understand not posting a photo but it would certainly help. As this is driving me nuts.
Yes, I suspect it is from sex

She cheated on her ex husband for 3 yrs and was very open about this when we first met They then had an open marriage for 6 years and has dating multiple guys and at the same time. Yes, all red flags but I was an idiot.

The constantly looking at exes online seems odd to me. And it was daily, not just once a month, which I could maybe understand. Then locking down the computer and she is very protective of her phone. When we're together is is always on DG and IG. As a matter a fact she met her last bf on IG and her lived 300o miles away.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:09 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brett Hatton View Post
When we're together is is always on DG and IG. As a matter a fact she met her last bf on IG and her lived 300o miles away.
What's DG?

This woman is cheating. I have no doubt. How long have you been together?
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:13 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brett Hatton View Post
The bruises are like a hand prints on either side of her butt.
On the bottom crease of the butt there are bruise on either side, quite large. Then on the left side there are four small bruises high on her butt cheek that look like finger prints, and actually very the top of and inside where the butt starts. On the right side, it appears like a mark from being spanked.
I left out an important piece...she loves rough sex. I understand not posting a photo but it would certainly help. As this is driving me nuts.
Yes, I suspect it is from sex

She cheated on her ex husband for 3 yrs and was very open about this when we first met They then had an open marriage for 6 years and has dating multiple guys and at the same time. Yes, all red flags but I was an idiot.

The constantly looking at exes online seems odd to me. And it was daily, not just once a month, which I could maybe understand. Then locking down the computer and she is very protective of her phone. When we're together is is always on DG and IG. As a matter a fact she met her last bf on IG and her lived 300o miles away.
We don't need a photo to understand that she is probably cheating on you...
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:14 AM   #9
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She had a bit of an anger mgmt issue. So I tried not to openly accuse her of cheating. I was just trying to understand the cause and was actually more concerned for her health.

The disappointing thing was she attacked me. I will be honest, I try to avoid conflict so I hold onto some things to avoid conflict. . She somehow turned it around and said that she doesn't trust me because of that... I don't see the connection other than delfecting. She is a lawyer, so she is very good at it!
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:29 AM   #10
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Oops...sorry, not DG, I meant FB
We were only together one year when I noticed the bruises.
As far as the condoms, she said that they were still there from before we started dating.
It has been 2.5 months since I noticed the bruises and she has become more secretive with her phone and shares very little.
It blew up last night after a day out with friends. She is interviewing for a different job which she originally said were require travel out of town maybe quarterly. When talking with friends she said there would be a "**** ton" on traval. I asked her later that night of the amount of expected travel had changed and she once again became defensive and walked, not wanting to talk about it.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:37 AM   #11
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Random shapeless unexplained bruise? Probably nothing, I get them myself all the time. On my legs, 80% below the knee. But...

Quote:
The bruises are like....hand prints on either side of her butt......there are four small bruises high on her butt cheek that look like finger prints....
Can't possibly be innocent. You don't even need the condoms to bolster that case (and since the condoms are old and expired they speak more to past behavior than current). It is certain somebody grabbed her ass very forcefully with both hands on either side. The logical and near-inescapable inference is that they were engaged in a sex act.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:42 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Brett Hatton View Post
Oops...sorry, not DG, I meant FB
We were only together one year when I noticed the bruises.
As far as the condoms, she said that they were still there from before we started dating.
It has been 2.5 months since I noticed the bruises and she has become more secretive with her phone and shares very little.
It blew up last night after a day out with friends. She is interviewing for a different job which she originally said were require travel out of town maybe quarterly. When talking with friends she said there would be a "**** ton" on traval. I asked her later that night of the amount of expected travel had changed and she once again became defensive and walked, not wanting to talk about it.
So tell us, why are you dating her... She has a temper, she doesn't communicate with you, she cheated on her ex husband and has proven that monogamy is not for her, and she is constantly checking social media - probably chatting up ex's or who knows how many other men... If you expect monogamy from this woman, you will be sorely disappointed... Why do you stay?
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Old 1st October 2017, 12:05 PM   #13
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I'm also curious to know why you got involved with a known cheater who has anger issues. What exactly is attractive to you about her.

If I had that many bruises on my butt and I honestly didn't know how they got there I'd being going to the doctor ASAP

She is clearly cheating. Her anger and defensiveness is meant to deflect and confuse you.
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Old 1st October 2017, 12:10 PM   #14
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All very good questions. When things are good, they are amazing!
But you are right, all the signs were there and I still continue.
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Old 1st October 2017, 12:13 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Brett Hatton View Post
All very good questions. When things are good, they are amazing!
But you are right, all the signs were there and I still continue.
But, things are bad...

They better be damn good to outweigh the bad... Because I'll tell you, this isn't going to end well for you. And at this point, you can't say that you didn't see it coming...
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