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Her 3 year affair


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 19th September 2017, 1:00 AM   #1
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Her 3 year affair

I have been married for 20 years three years ago I found out that my wife has been cheating on me with her boss. We both worked very hard to get her through her college degrees now she's at the top of a public company flying all around the world having fun with this guy. I have my own business and I'm always in town taking care of our 10-year-old boy. After I found out I told her she had to quit her job, find a new one or just stay home and then we would somehow work things out. I arranged for counseling for her and got her a lawyer in case of any problems at work. I told her that I would forgive her and that we should start working on things but she never quit seeing him. I don't want to leave my home and my son losing time with him. I filed for divorce and was moving steadily through that process when I begin to have heart problems and had to have surgery setting everything back. I hate sleeping on the sofa and would really like to leave but the guilt is more that I can take because of my young son that totally depends on me. I've got to do something soon
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:27 AM   #2
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Your wife cheats and you sleep on the sofa? Move her stuff into a spare bedroom.

File for divorce and custody.

Inform his wife and HR at her work.

The great majority of people simply divorce under these circumstances why aren't you?

More info please. Why are you allowing her to treat you and your son this way without consequences. Have you not told her parents and your parents
and his family?

Shock and awe is the only thing that might work. Playing nice NEVER works. You can stand up for yourself or get ran over.
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:28 AM   #3
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Different states have very different laws. Who makes the most money and what state do you leave in?
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:34 AM   #4
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Well you took the right step by filing...

Well you took the right step by filing...and you need to keep on with the process.

Here is your first problem, you have no reason to feel guilty about anything. She is the one that chose to cheat and break up the family. And she still continues to see him.

As a man, you cannot allow this to go on. You have to continue the D process and have her served ASAP.

Does she make more money than you? If so she may have to pay you alimony and child support.

If she is jetting around the world with lover boy, who is to say she wants primary custody. She probably does not want to be saddled with the responsibility of a child.

Keep moving forward, take her to the cleaners.

And stop all the nonsense about feeling guilty, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Expose the affair to EVERYONE, family - your and hers, the company that she works for, the other mans wife, everyone.

It is time to think clearly and be strong, stop all the weak guilt stuff that has nothing to do with you.

Remember, she CHOSE to do this to you. She is choosing to still do it.

Take her down...
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Old 19th September 2017, 7:31 AM   #5
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You want to end this affair then you must
expose it.

Contact the OMW.

Tell WW's parents and siblings and your son.

Send letters to the CEO, Director of Human
Resources, and the Board of Directors of the
affair. Outlining how company resources
are being used to conduct the affair on
company time and that the OM is using
the power of his position to manipulate
your WW.

Then end the letter asking what is the company
going to do to end this affair and sexual
harassment.

Do not leave your home or your bed. Let the
WW sleep on your sofa.
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Old 19th September 2017, 8:46 AM   #6
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Divorce her and tell he AP's spouse, and get back in your bedroom.

Don't tell your son anything. That is the BS's ultimate revenge at the cost of a 10 yr old's piece of mind. Despicable.
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Old 19th September 2017, 10:00 AM   #7
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wow, what a heartless evil woman

i would suggest to expose her affair in the office which maybe helpful in losing her job and her affair partner and then demand her to move out.

Last edited by hammyy2k; 19th September 2017 at 10:07 AM..
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Old 19th September 2017, 10:12 AM   #8
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Your heart is probably hurting because your under so much stress. The best way to deal with this is to get in touch with a lawyer today. Have papers drawn up just like the other poster stated. You want full custody and a even division of assets and funds. If you start taking an inventory now you can catch her off guard. The other thing I would do is plan to move out the day she takes another trip. Take your son and get out of there. If you need to go to a family members house. Leave divorce papers on the table and tell her in a note if she has any questions she can talk to your attorney. Don't give her another second of your time.

This stops when you put a stop to it.

C
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Old 19th September 2017, 7:16 PM   #9
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One sort of contrary thought. You may need to determine whether the AA is or might be a deal breaker in the long run. Why? Getting her fired if D is in your future is counterproductive. If she gets fired and her income is zero
or substantially reduced, you could wind up paying spousal
Support or more child support. And she'd have more free time for custody.

But as the saying goes, your mileage may vary. You may be eell served by consulting with a local lawyer to seen what divorce would look like in your circumstances. Knowledge is power and the fear factor can be reduced.
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Old 19th September 2017, 7:27 PM   #10
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1. Kick her out of the house. Just tell her if she's cheating on the marriage she cannot be in the marital home and move yourself back into the bedroom.

2. No judge is going to give custody to a parent who flies all over the country for work over one who is at home with the child all the time.

She's not suffering any consequences for her actions right now and because you "arranged" everything for her, you didn't really get her buy in or commitment to the marriage and she's not in it obviously.

A line needs to be drawn.
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Old 19th September 2017, 7:35 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Searun View Post
I have been married for 20 years three years ago I found out that my wife has been cheating on me with her boss. We both worked very hard to get her through her college degrees now she's at the top of a public company flying all around the world having fun with this guy. I have my own business and I'm always in town taking care of our 10-year-old boy. After I found out I told her she had to quit her job, find a new one or just stay home and then we would somehow work things out. I arranged for counseling for her and got her a lawyer in case of any problems at work. I told her that I would forgive her and that we should start working on things but she never quit seeing him. I don't want to leave my home and my son losing time with him. I filed for divorce and was moving steadily through that process when I begin to have heart problems and had to have surgery setting everything back. I hate sleeping on the sofa and would really like to leave but the guilt is more that I can take because of my young son that totally depends on me. I've got to do something soon
Why are you sleeping on the sofa? Jeeze man!!!

What do you think your son would think once he found out his father is allowing himself to be disrespected this way?

Exposure would be a good place to start. Living in fear will get you nowhere.

Except more disrespect and worse health issues.

What the hell are you thinking?
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:18 AM   #12
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Yeah, if she quit her job already...then that's that. If she's still working there, DO NOT contact their HR department. I was all for exposing at work, but when you think about it, if she gets fired and you still divorce, then she can apply for alimony. If she has a job and the money is about the same as what you are making, then they're not going to award her alimony. And if it's a damn good paying job, she may end up owing YOU alimony. So, I wouldn't mess with her work.

If the guy is married, definitely expose to the OMW. She has a right to know what kind of man she married and she can make an informed decision on how she wants to handle her own marriage. 9 out of 10 times, the other dude is going to throw your wife under the bus to save his own ass.
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:32 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi townD View Post
Yeah, if she quit her job already...then that's that. If she's still working there, DO NOT contact their HR department. I was all for exposing at work, but when you think about it, if she gets fired and you still divorce, then she can apply for alimony. If she has a job and the money is about the same as what you are making, then they're not going to award her alimony. And if it's a damn good paying job, she may end up owing YOU alimony. So, I wouldn't mess with her work.

If the guy is married, definitely expose to the OMW. She has a right to know what kind of man she married and she can make an informed decision on how she wants to handle her own marriage. 9 out of 10 times, the other dude is going to throw your wife under the bus to save his own ass.
So much this. Following a scripted cookie cutter formula for every single case is...STUPID. Period. She loses her job, and then YOU have to pay HER.
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Old 20th September 2017, 11:15 AM   #14
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Where I live if you lose your job or get fired, the judge assumes you will get another job making the same money. If you get paid less, tough.
Losing or quiting your job has no affect on alimony. It can actually rile the judge.
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Last edited by Chaparral; 20th September 2017 at 1:31 PM..
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Old 20th September 2017, 11:38 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaparral View Post
Where I live if you lose your job or get fired, the judge assumes you will get another job making the same money. If you get paid less, tough.
Losing or quiting your job has no affect on alimony. It can actually rile the judge.
Judge can and usually will award alimony for a set period of time for the other person to find work.... nothing is written in stone.
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