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My ex-Affair Partner Moved to my area! Smh!


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 8th September 2017, 8:14 AM   #16
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NC means NC. forever.

Now he knows where your daughter goes to school.

In the past he was going to harm your H. Now he can get to your daughter.

Do not lie to your H.

Tell him that you told him where you live.

Be totally honest.

Would you like your H to have a potential AP so close to your family?

He does not respect your family. He is a threat to your family.

Most APs would move on, and he is back into your life. Too close for comfort and too close to avoid NC.

Since you have contact, you are back into the A in your H's mind.

Did you tell your H when you broke the NC and told him where you live?

Last edited by harrybrown; 8th September 2017 at 8:15 AM.. Reason: edit
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Old 8th September 2017, 8:24 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by MJJean View Post
If I were your husband and it was even remotely financially feasible, I'd be putting my house on the market and strongly considering divorcing the WW who broke NC and told the AP where we live.
Nothing to do with feasible but mandatory that the
house be sold even at a loss.

Another shinning example of why the WW must leave
her job when she works with her OM.

NC, means NO CONTACT, and here you are talking
with the OM as if nothing happened.

1 Tell your BH everything from how you broke NC.
2 Told the OM where you live.
3 Met OMW and child at daughter's school.
4 Your plan to fix this.
a leave the job
b sell the house and move
c go NC with everyone that knows you an OM
so he will not find out where you live.
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Old 8th September 2017, 8:27 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by harrybrown View Post

Did you tell your H when you broke the NC and told him where you live?
This sentence and it's answer are crucial.

If you hid this from your BH then you have
hidden the restart of your affair with the OM.
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Old 8th September 2017, 8:30 AM   #19
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I could not edit post 17 so:

Edit to add knowing that your OM threatened your
BH's life it is mandatory that you go to the police
and get a restraining order against the OM. Tell
the police he is now stalking you and your family
after he made his threat.
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Old 8th September 2017, 8:31 AM   #20
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Also your link does not go to that thread in
your first post.
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Old 8th September 2017, 10:54 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by MJJean View Post
If I were your husband and it was even remotely financially feasible, I'd be putting my house on the market and strongly considering divorcing the WW who broke NC and told the AP where we live.
I do think your H will be so upset and feel betrayed that you had a personal conversation with exMM and told him where you are living now. Own it, apologize and offer to move again if need be.
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Old 8th September 2017, 11:16 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by road View Post
I could not edit post 17 so:

Edit to add knowing that your OM threatened your
BH's life it is mandatory that you go to the police
and get a restraining order against the OM. Tell
the police he is now stalking you and your family
after he made his threat.
There is no proof here whatsoever.
She tells the police her MM said that once and the MM just simply denies it... and there is no law against moving into a new area either.

If she had screeds of evidence of harassment and stalking then maybe but an off the cuff remark a few years ago...
and the MM was not the only one to make threats either...
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My husband told me I wasn't going anywhere and that we would fight for our marriage.
He called my AP up and told him to never contact me again, or there would be consequences and repercussions.
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Old 8th September 2017, 12:02 PM   #23
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The question is not WHY did AP do anything. The question is what will YOU and your husband think, feel and do about it?

And the answer should not include your taking any more seconds on this earth analyzing or thinking about AP at all - except to say that he's an utter A-hole, if not a sociopath for subjecting you and his wife to this strange, cunning manipulation of life circumstances. You should not be the least bit ambivalent about anything and why he did it just doesn't matter.

He was not in your life, but now he's trying to be. So what will you DO about it?
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Old 8th September 2017, 12:43 PM   #24
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If this MM/AP is a sick as I think he is - it would not matter if OP told him where she was moving - he would have found out soon enough. Maybe he would have showed up 6 months or a year later but he would have showed up.

Not hard these days to locate anyone. I know this first hand.

Also what if you move - and he shows up there in another year again?


Thinking about this more - I would really try to get MM's wife on your side or your husbands side, or at least get her neutral to it all. It would deflate this crazy guys game if the three people all united on some basic level and agreed to not let this become an issue. Maybe try a mediator/counselor ?
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Old 8th September 2017, 12:45 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by l8estnews View Post
Woah, I am very sensitive to cheating but this escalated so quickly!

But yes,OP. You shouldn't have talked to him again. When you saw him, you should've turned the other way around.
This. Conqueror, why on earth did you tell your former OM where you lived?

Are you sure that you intend to stay faithful to your husband? I'm asking because your actions show the complete opposite intention. You opened the door to conversation with the man you cheated with and you didn't tell your husband that your former OM threatened to kill him!

You need to approach this situation as a married mother with integrity. Your husband deserves the truth. I don't know if your husband will trust you when he finds out that you were conversing with the OM and you told him where your family is living.
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Old 8th September 2017, 4:28 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by MJJean View Post
If I were your husband and it was even remotely financially feasible, I'd be putting my house on the market and strongly considering divorcing the WW who broke NC and told the AP where we live.
This is just the most, weak & immature logic. A grown man is going to what "run away from another grown man bc he lives in the same town"? He forgave the A, if one truly forgives & wants to reconcile it means you can't blame WS for what the AP does after, it doesn't even make sense.

OP...all this panic is for no reason. You were pregnant, got cornered & opened your mouth...pregnancy brain. Tell your husband but this isn't your fault, not at this point. The best defense is an offense, simply ignore...ignore his wife, ignore him & just do what you're doing. Why give him any more power? By being scared, you're giving him power, if you move you're giving him power, if you or your husband allow him to mentally push you around, you're giving him power.

Be a grown woman & take your power back, are you a little girl or a mother that isn't going to let anyone push her family around? The choice is yours...good luck
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Old 8th September 2017, 5:02 PM   #27
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Not the lady's fault

Hi guys,
I was reading this thread at work and so couldn't add my two cents till now..the comments that this woman invited the AP to find her were just plain cruel. First of all it seems they were at a work meeting , AP was NOT sought out..and no woman would come on to a former AP when she was heavily pregnant with her husband's child. Also, as has been said, it is VERY easy to find where a person lives. I Googled my exMM and his new address came up!I had no idea he had bought a house- but it came up on Zillow! Unfortunately the prior thread to this story cannot be found. However it seems this AP is unstable and his move is part of HIS agenda. To even hint otherwise speaks more abut the mindset of the posters..
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Old 8th September 2017, 5:34 PM   #28
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Might as well gave him your ph number and add him on Fb too how much disrespect is your husband going to put up with I'm not even sure why you stayed with him since the ap seems to still held in regard even though he threatened your husband so obviously he's equal standing in pecking order
It wouldn't be surprising if hubby packs a bag over this to save his sanity
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Old 8th September 2017, 6:40 PM   #29
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Really?

Tell me how this woman is leading this former AP on. This guy is stalking her...how is SHE disrespecting her BS?
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Old 9th September 2017, 1:21 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by bealigerent View Post
Tell me how this woman is leading this former AP on. This guy is stalking her...how is SHE disrespecting her BS?
She broke NC, told the AP where she lived and talked about the commercial he made.

Yes she disrespected her bs by breaking NC.
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