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Investigation: The begining of the end?


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 15th June 2017, 7:32 AM   #61
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Keep it straight forward and simple. As few words as possible. Tell her you know. Don't tell her how you know. Let her twist and squirm, conjecture, see what sort of lies she has prepared. Or, if she comes clean. It sounds like it is a deal breaker for you. So, just matter of factly tell her it is over. Then follow through with it. Anything else...don't know if it does anything else but creates unnecessary drama and later on regrets. Something to be said for calling her out on this and ending things with dignity and grace.
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Old 15th June 2017, 7:45 AM   #62
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I don't know how much more info you need to confront your wife about her affair. The video is more than enough and as a matter of fact the story sounds somewhat familiar.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:21 AM   #63
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I know it is all very new and it hurts a lot and you will be very angry too but try to not discount reconciliation totally and whatever you do now, keep that in mind.
Seems to me that after infidelity occurs, the most "impossible" couples can end up working things out and those marriages that seemed so "possible", end up in divorce, so it is best to realise that anything can happen with time.

Even if you do divorce, better to have a peaceful divorce than make an enemy of your wife, as you will not be making things any easier for yourself.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:28 AM   #64
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Unless he is thinking of setting up a business selling cheating porn movies, then I guess one movie like the one he has just captured will last him a lifetime.
I guess what I meant to say was to get his ducks in a row, as far as his financials and getting lawyered up.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:33 AM   #65
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The drama will only cause you more grief...and stress. Vengence...revenge....acting like a child gone mad...will gain nothing. .
Agreed.

OP,
If you do show the friends the video as a "surprise" to embarrass your wife, I am sure they will dine out on that anecdote for years and it will be a huge joke to everyone who hears it, meanwhile you will still be hurting and heartbroken.
The joke will be on you.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:36 AM   #66
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I guess what I meant to say was to get his ducks in a row, as far as his financials and getting lawyered up.
He said he already met with the lawyer & has a plan. Now he's just toying with his wife. . . looking for what I'm not sure.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:43 AM   #67
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Agreed.

OP,
If you do show the friends the video as a "surprise" to embarrass your wife, I am sure they will dine out on that anecdote for years and it will be a huge joke to everyone who hears it, meanwhile you will still be hurting and heartbroken.
The joke will be on you.
Yep... good old locker room talk...

It might be good for a laugh... but in the long run... it will cause disrespect for you as well.

Why would anyone in their right mature responsible mind want to play these kind of childish games?

If you are in pain why put yourself through that?

Makes no sense to me... unless of course it also reveals the kind of person you just might really be.

I can tell you.. my betrayed husband would never have done something this childish and foolish...

He had too much pride and respect for himself to stoop to this kind of behavior. In addition he was so broken I don't think anything like boys night out to look at pornos of my wife would have ever even crossed his mind.

Sorry I am having a really hard time imagining a newly betrayed man in this kind of mindset or behavior.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:51 AM   #68
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Meanwhile, back at the ranch, she is still banging her boyfriend and you are now in overkill planning the perfect execution.

You have enough right now to blow this out of the water and possibly get Dr. Dick in a bit of hot water at home and at work.

What will exposing it on a public forum do to change the financials, other than maybe get you sued. and provide you with a moment of revenge. Your best revenge will be to get rid of her and become happy while her word is shattered.

And you better put your football helmet on because based on her comments and pillow talk, she is going to for sure come slobbering and begging for you to eat this **** sandwich, promising everything and anything. You better be prepared for that and ignore it
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:52 AM   #69
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Yep... good old locker room talk...

It might be good for a laugh... but in the long run... it will cause disrespect for you as well.
I do not think he is going to show it to his buddies, I think he is going to show it to the wife's best friend and her husband when they come over for pizza and a movie, on Friday night.
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So she just called me and wanted to know if we can have her best friend (co-conspirator) and her husband over on Friday night for pizza and a movie. Hell...why not. However, it does give me an idea. I will go over it with my best friend and get his opinion. He is also a little twisted so I am sure he will love it.
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Old 15th June 2017, 9:58 AM   #70
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....

Sorry I am having a really hard time imagining a newly betrayed man in this kind of mindset or behavior.
I think it is a natural form of anger, revenge, mixed in with some bitterness... Trying to humiliate the cheating spouse.
Actually, there are a number of accounts, stories, even Youtube videos and porn sites that are dedicated to being an outlet that are out there that demonstrate this type of revenge humiliation. Heck for that matter, it is such a problem there are laws against jilted spouses and lovers posting any acquired videos of the affair sex.
Revenge porn laws...
This type of mind set and behavior is rather common in fact...
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Old 15th June 2017, 10:14 AM   #71
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Revenge porn is illegal in many states.
No revenge porn, emails or bill boards. I am going to show her the video, pack a bag and leave. I am done and will move on. What she will do is anyone's guess, it will not be my immediate concern. I would tell her parents, however they are just as bad as her. I should have listen to my friends before we were married and should have run like the wind in the opposite direction. Like I said, she has always had this spell on me, however the spell is now broken and she is gone.
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Old 15th June 2017, 10:15 AM   #72
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I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Just my 2 cents...

You're a man of actions. You like to control, to plan and execute. Great! This is helping you to process your new situation easily. You're now scriptwriting the scenario of confronting her, to "show her" to "nail her", so as her OM.

All theses are thrilling, give you something to do. But for the long run, you focus on the least important issue. Yes' you'll have you moment of victory, but this moment will pass quickly. All this theatre you're creating now is just a distraction from dealing with the real stuff. I advice you to try to plan the plans that are more difficult to plan - Your nearer future.

I think there's a way which will be the best for your future + you'll get your glory moments on the way. In the next few days, you can "extend" your business trip. while that period prepare all papers, accounts, everything.

Than, ghost her (Yes, the opposite of confronting her). You can meat with the OP's wife, you can do what ever you like but ghost your wife. Move on. She will chase you like hell of course. then you'll have the chance for some theatre drama if you like, but it will be when you're strong position.
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Old 15th June 2017, 10:25 AM   #73
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Hold on guys and girls...

Hold on guys and girls...

I cannot say how much I disagree with the don't do it crew.

Let's review.

Here is a man that is working his butt off, building a company making a good living for everyone. I will bet $1000 that his wife does not have to work.

He is a retired cop if I am not mistaken, so dangerous job, served his community. Now, has to travel for business.

His wife is banging a doctor, in their home. Does not even have the decency to go pick him up and go in through the garage so no one would know that she is screwing another man in the marital home. And the marital bed.

Is and has been having sex in their marital bed for who knows how long.

She is having best friend (AKA: Co conspirator in the affair) over for Pizza. She her and her BFF and maybe her husband can laugh at BS because they know what has been going on... I mean how much worse could it get.

How could anyone blame him for the thing he is about to do? I have no idea...

Let's see how this might unfold. Everyone has their pop corn and drink. Just before they start the movie, OP interrupts with, "Oh, BTW, I asked Nancy (Dr's wife) to join us tonight.

Then the movie starts. Wife and BFF understand immediately what is happening. And we all watch the best parts of the movie...

How could it get better than that? I ask you. BFF's husband may not know what his wife has been aiding and abetting, imagine the look of understanding about his own wife. She is probably screwing around on him as well.

The whole scene is priceless...

This woman deserves to be humiliated for what she is and has been doing.

OP, Carry on...
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Old 15th June 2017, 10:53 AM   #74
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
I do not think he is going to show it to his buddies, I think he is going to show it to the wife's best friend and her husband when they come over for pizza and a movie, on Friday night.
Oh Elaine you are probably right ... sick
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Old 15th June 2017, 10:56 AM   #75
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No revenge porn, emails or bill boards. I am going to show her the video, pack a bag and leave. I am done and will move on. What she will do is anyone's guess, it will not be my immediate concern. I would tell her parents, however they are just as bad as her. I should have listen to my friends before we were married and should have run like the wind in the opposite direction. Like I said, she has always had this spell on me, however the spell is now broken and she is gone.

I'm glad you have a sensible plan. Hope it enables you to reclaim some of your dignity. We've all done stupid things & been blinded by love.
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