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Investigation: The begining of the end?


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 21st December 2017, 10:56 PM   #436
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DKT3 View Post
I read an article once that suggested that a small percentage of people (mostly females) actually thrive on drama created by infidelity. It seems to me that in a small part at least that UB is enjoying this. I mean, it's over and he keeps allowing her to creep back in.

I can understand wanting some answers, but she isn't being honest.
why does he care?

If you caught your wife....and proceeded to divorce...no matter what

why does anything else matter? It is over...done...kaput

so why would you continue the drama and saga?

The relationship is over...divorced...done
thread should also be done...no more drama...move on...happy life without cheating wife

Chump lady says....leave a cheater...gain a life
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Old 21st December 2017, 11:35 PM   #437
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Uncle Boogie
You know how to keep your ex-wife out of your life if you really want to.


You are just 6 months out from D-Day so you wanting to talk to your ex-wife is somewhat understandable for some. However, you can do better for yourself if you want 2018 to be better than the last 6 months. You have been given great advice, with no charge, by experienced people, that have several years past D-Day. Stop all contact with your ex-wife and stop fooling yourself or do you think you are fooling us?
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Old 22nd December 2017, 2:29 AM   #438
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To all that have recently replied to my last post. Let me just say that I hear you and you all make sense. The only reason I was going to talk to her is because she was getting my parents involved, which is the last thing I wanted to do. I called my dad to discuss the current situation and he volunteered to contact the ex father in law to discuss his daughter. My dad and FIL always got along well, so I believe this might end the whole mess.

I stressed to my dad that I was no contact with the ex and have no interest in dealing with her anymore. After I told him the whole story, he agreed thus the call to the FIL. I feel funny having my dad fight this battle for me, but moving on is the most important thing for me right now and he was glad to assist.

Again, I want to thank you all for opening my eyes again and keeping me on track.

Happy Holidays

UB
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Old 22nd December 2017, 9:49 AM   #439
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Originally Posted by Uncle Boogie View Post
To all that have recently replied to my last post. Let me just say that I hear you and you all make sense. The only reason I was going to talk to her is because she was getting my parents involved, which is the last thing I wanted to do. I called my dad to discuss the current situation and he volunteered to contact the ex father in law to discuss his daughter. My dad and FIL always got along well, so I believe this might end the whole mess.

I stressed to my dad that I was no contact with the ex and have no interest in dealing with her anymore. After I told him the whole story, he agreed thus the call to the FIL. I feel funny having my dad fight this battle for me, but moving on is the most important thing for me right now and he was glad to assist.

Again, I want to thank you all for opening my eyes again and keeping me on track.

Happy Holidays

UB
I would not feel bad. exWW needs to hear it from her dad. FIL has
the only chance of reaching his daughter. For you just stay NC with
exWW.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 9:59 AM   #440
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Hey UB, enjoy the time with family.

Get a restraining order against your ex for your parents if you can.

The only thing I would say with a sit down would be “stop calling my parents and how was that beat down” with a big smile. Then get up and leave, the other questions you have she really has no answer to them.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 10:54 AM   #441
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UB,
You made the right decision. Keep in mind that NC is good not only for you, but your ex as well. She will eventually hit the point of acceptance that you’re gone and will then be able to start picking up the pieces of her life and move on.
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Old 22nd December 2017, 7:20 PM   #442
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UB,

I think that's a great plan. NC means NC...Your dad can and should take care of this.

Now... another step I think you should consider...

Your sister means well. She really does. She's telling you that ExW is doing horrible to make you feel better, but that's not how this works. Ask your sister to stop telling you anything about ExW. If you keep getting this information, you are in a sense, "pain shopping," because as long as Ex is doing bad, you might feel better. This isn't going to heal you. True healing will come when you come to the point that you wish your Ex to sort her shiz and find her happiness wherever and whomever it should be with.

Really. I think this is going to be a tough next step for you, but it's time. NC means NC. It means you don't talk about her, talk to her, communicate with her, look her up on social media or anything that gives you some sort of connection to her.

Finally, let yourself hurt. I've said this before, but as things start to "even" out and stabilize, you might find the emotions of all this hitting you. Let it happen and it's okay.

You've got this!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Boogie View Post
To all that have recently replied to my last post. Let me just say that I hear you and you all make sense. The only reason I was going to talk to her is because she was getting my parents involved, which is the last thing I wanted to do. I called my dad to discuss the current situation and he volunteered to contact the ex father in law to discuss his daughter. My dad and FIL always got along well, so I believe this might end the whole mess.

I stressed to my dad that I was no contact with the ex and have no interest in dealing with her anymore. After I told him the whole story, he agreed thus the call to the FIL. I feel funny having my dad fight this battle for me, but moving on is the most important thing for me right now and he was glad to assist.

Again, I want to thank you all for opening my eyes again and keeping me on track.

Happy Holidays

UB
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Old 22nd December 2017, 8:38 PM   #443
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To all that were kind enough to reply:

The FIL talked to the ex and I believe it is over. I have stayed true to NC and have told my family that I don't need any more stories about what the ex is doing. This topic is dead and buried. I have clear skies ahead and a light heart, so with that I am closing this thread.

Chow baby,

Uncle Boogie
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