I feel guilty and I don't know if I should?

[brendenarwey]

Ive been with this girl almost a year and a half. Recently she dumped me as she's moving back home as she has finished university now. She lives hours away. We have a holiday booked in July which was non refundable so we have had to stay in touch to make that work. She came back for a week recently to to where my university is to pack the rest of her things. She stayed for almost a month and in that month we connected again and I was telling her how much I loved her constantly and were sleeping together again. But she has still made it clear she does not want to get back into a relationship. We promised not to sleep with other people before the holiday but the other day I went out and got really really drunk and ended up sleeping with someone else. This was a total one off and I never cheated throughout our relationship. But why do I feel so guilty. I am getting horrendous anxiety and it is all I can think about day and night. Should I be feeling this way? What if we end up getting back together after the holiday?

[Mrs. John Adams]

well yes you should feel guilty. You pledged to be monogamous until after the trip. You made a promise...you broke it.

 

Is it the end of the world....no. It sounds like you are not really committed to each other....

 

But if you are feeling terrible...confess and see what she says.

[aileD]

I wouldn't say anything unless or until you have the "let's get back together" conversation.

 

If you are getting back together, then go into it with no secrets.

[HereNorThere]

It sucks because she's basically keeping you on the hook for her benefit instead of letting you go. However, since you agreed to it, you are now withholding information that would possibly change her consent to sleeping with you on the trip. There's a word for sex without consent and it's not a nice word.

 

You're pretty screwed either way. You tell her and ruin the trip, or don't tell her and you're committing rape by deception. And if you picked up some sort of sti during your encounter and pass it on to her, you'll have to live with that.

 

It's a lose lose for you. The moral thing to is tell her. Sorry, these are the breaks.

[lostgirl87]

I wouldn't feel too badly if I were you. Yes y'all have some kind of agreement to not sleep with other people but you're not in a committed relationship. And it sounds like she's the one that is wanting it that way.

 

You're anxious b/c you're a good guy and you clearly have strong feelings for this girl. You feel you did something wrong because of the love you have for her. Again, I don't think what you did was that bad b/c to me, it sounds like she's leading you on a bit and trying to keep you on the back burner. You are allowed to go about your life when not in a committed relationship.

 

If y'all do get back together, I still wouldn't tell her. I know that sounds bad and sneaky but I think it would do more harm than good. As long as you were safe with this other girl that you slept with, I don't see a point in telling your ex/potential gf.

[Mr. Lucky]

But she has still made it clear she does not want to get back into a relationship. We promised not to sleep with other people before the holiday

 

I'm trying to understand why she'd ask this of you...and why you'd agree to it?

 

Mr. Lucky

[ItIsNotMe]

You can't be sure what is she doing behind your back. She might also be sleeping with someone else. Live your life, make yourself happy and don't regret doing things while you're being in this kind of situations. One day you may regret for not being with someone else who could have made you happy (or at least get laid) while waiting for someone who isn't certain about her feelings for you. Why didn't ask her, why did she insist not to sleep with anyone else?

[Darren Steez]

Recently she dumped me ...

 

she has still made it clear she does not want to get back into a relationship.

 

What part of you've been dumped and she doesn't want a relationship don't you understand?

 

Move on...but go on holiday first, then move on because you're done after you come back.

 

She's speaking pretty clearly, try to listen.

[KimJ1234]

I don't think you have anything to be guilty about. You aren't in a relationship with her.

She doesn't want to be with you but she doesn't want you with anyone else either?

Maybe I misunderstood but it sounds like a selfish request.