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nude pics red flag??


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 10th February 2017, 3:34 PM   #31
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You realize that you're in the extreme minority with that reaction, right?
I do. That's why I said I am an outlier.

But I think filing for divorce from the mother of your twins before a discussion has even taken place is a bit extreme as well.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:35 PM   #32
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Thanks everyone for your input. I've been reading online all day about the different types of affairs. So the cyber affair is EA and the traditional is the PA. Emotional and Physical are the 2 types of affairs. So what is emotional about sending nudes and sexting? Seems stupid not emotional.

Anyway my situation makes me think about the movie Old School, "you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a g%%damn magic show".

That's similar to my story, think all is good, happy marriage great kids good sex no fighting about to go skiing ect ect. Come home early and catch your wife taking nude pics.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. Stay strong and don't back down. Demand she unlocks her phone or you're divorcing her. There is absolutely no reason for her to refuse you access to her phone. I took it upon myself to put my H's fingerprint in my phone many years ago in the event that there was some kind of emergency and he needed to get in my phone. I cannot fathom this level of secrecy.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:37 PM   #33
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We have 2 kids, boy and girl they are twins. I'm so heartbroken right now. I proposed to her on Valentine's day, which is almost here. This year it will mean nothing but pain and betrayal.

Hopefully this is not real, and I'm crazy. The nudes are innocent and so are the apps the locked phone and her behavior. I know that is not the case, she is probably having either a cyber affair or traditional affair.

I'm going to collect more before I confront again.

Thanks for all your help.
This is typical denial. You don't want to believe what everyone is seeing here. The next step is convincing yourself it's just an emotional affair. The problem is you're putting and keeping yourself in limbo hell until you wake up and deal with reality.

Read your thread and pretend it's your brother or a close friend. What would you think or tell him?
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:45 PM   #34
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She is doing something, nude pics locked phone means it is sexual and probably some sort of an affair.

I just discovered this and my head is spinning. It is not denial, I'm dealing with it. I just want to handle it correctly and have more information about the extent of what is going on.

I appreciate all the input, you guys are helping me find the road to bring this to a head. Thank you so much.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:47 PM   #35
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Put a keylogger on your PC as well. You might pick up her passwords.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:51 PM   #36
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She's having an affair. Period. Go see an attorney, ASAP. You don't have to file but you do want to understand your rights.

Var in that car. PI if you can afford one. GPS as well.

Write everything down. Why? Because she will lie lie lie. If LS is your diary, that's good.

Remember the time she asked for Privacy? Once DDay happens, she'll be on her knees begging for forgiveness and agreeing for transparency.

I know your head is spinning. Stay calm. Do not tip your hand. Google 180 and DARVO.

Stay strong my friend.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:58 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by zombiehead View Post
I need some time to think this through. I want to know the extent of the betrayal before I decide anything.
The vast majority of betrayed spouses that come to this site say the very same thing. They feel like you that they must know more before taking decisive action. As regulars to this site often see is that by waiting, the betrayed spouse allowed the cheater to go deeper in to the affair. I just saw one such betrayed spouse, where the affair went from an emotional affair (EA) to a physical affair (PA) in the short time between the weak confront and the strong I am divorcing you confront. Whereas before he was willing to forgive the EA, he is now not sure if he is willing to forgive the PA. Waiting thus increased his odds of divorce and gave him less if he does decide not to divorce. There is still a good chance that it has not yet reached the point where they are having physical sex. Take strong decisive action before things get worse.
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Old 10th February 2017, 3:59 PM   #38
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She's having an affair. Period. Go see an attorney, ASAP. You don't have to file but you do want to understand your rights.

Var in that car. PI if you can afford one. GPS as well.

Write everything down. Why? Because she will lie lie lie. If LS is your diary, that's good.

Remember the time she asked for Privacy? Once DDay happens, she'll be on her knees begging for forgiveness and agreeing for transparency.

I know your head is spinning. Stay calm. Do not tip your hand. Google 180 and DARVO.

Stay strong my friend.
Agree. And if you cannot afford an attorney, stop by a divorce attorney's office and grab a business card and purposely leave it out in plain view.
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:01 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by RecentChange View Post
I do. That's why I said I am an outlier.

But I think filing for divorce from the mother of your twins before a discussion has even taken place is a bit extreme as well.
I think stepping out on the father of your twins without a discussion is extreme as well.

Her response to getting busted taking the pics has already defined how the fallout from this will go. It's going to be a very ugly one. He needs to quickly gain the upper hand, whether he wants R or D.
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:05 PM   #40
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How old are your twins?
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:16 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by zombiehead View Post
She is doing something, nude pics locked phone means it is sexual and probably some sort of an affair.

I just discovered this and my head is spinning. It is not denial, I'm dealing with it. I just want to handle it correctly and have more information about the extent of what is going on.

I appreciate all the input, you guys are helping me find the road to bring this to a head. Thank you so much.
You're like most you want proof. Sync her phone and use a recovery system on it. Many have great luck with VAR'S

Confronting without evidence is normally fruitless
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:20 PM   #42
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AnneP, the twins are 7. The twins and I are like peas and carrots. It could be I'm spending too much time focusing on them and not my marriage? We don't have family around so we only have one or two dates nights per year. I'm ok with that but maybe she is not? IDK, so many things are going through my head about why would she be doing this?
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:20 PM   #43
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Download WhatsApp ...that's he most popular messaging app.....you can see if she's "online" in it or when the" last seen" she was "online was". I watched my husband and his OW go back and forth all day on that app.
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:28 PM   #44
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ailed, Thanks for the tip on whatsapp, I loaded it earlier and couldn't find her o it. I did lookup her 'secret' skype and tango accounts. I didn't send her a request, I don't want her to know that I know she has those accounts. I'm taking the twins out this evening and my wife is going next door to have drinks with our neighbor. While we are out I'm going to stop and pick up the VAR at bestbuy. Hopefully that will give me some more information before Monday. I want this to come to head in the next few days.
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Old 10th February 2017, 4:32 PM   #45
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Isn't what you already know enough?
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