LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships > Infidelity

nude pics red flag??


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

Like Tree2038Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10th February 2017, 2:22 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,942
Quote:
Originally Posted by zombiehead View Post
She stopped her email from coming to our home PC a few weeks ago. However all prior emails are still there, and yup back at the beginning of November she opened a new Skype account and in December a Tango account. I just pulled up her profile pic on those and she is trying to look naughty/sexy. Also she is not using her real name, it is a fake sexy name.

Man my heart is racing, pounding hard and my hands are shaking. She is having an affair, now I need to find out if it is just a cyber affair or a traditional in person affair.
You know everything you need to know. She is untrustworthy - divorce her.
SevenCity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 2:26 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,926
Get a Digital VAR's and hide one in WW car and in the house where she
takes most of her calls.


Then get a real time GPS for WW car.


Last install a key logger for the home computer. Then you will be getting
your proof.
road is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 2:29 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 779
Var in her car is the best bet outside of a PI. So, have you thought of a plan of action when you have your evidence? because you will get it. I would guess the affair is already physical. Stop having sex with her. She might not be using protection and you could get an STD. Protect yourself. Do you have kids?

Sorry man. No chance she isn't having an affair.
T-16bullseyeWompRat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 2:39 PM   #19
Established Member
 
lolablue17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,210
Every further investigating will only approve what you already know - She's cheating, and also will give you some more information about the exact nature of her cheating.

So now when you know she's cheating, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to put yourself in the weak side - being angry, accusing her, shouting, crying?? Or you want to take full control of your life and take some decisions...

You seek for her response but her response is irrelevant. Why would you care what other lies \ excuses \ BS she'll feed you? The answer that you don't care at all. Knowing she's cheating, you must plan, decide and execute your decision. Today.

If it was me, even if i would be willing to reconcile, I would first file for divorce, and her the papers, and only then talk about the terms of reconciliation from a position of power.
lolablue17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 2:41 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 190
We have 2 kids, boy and girl they are twins. I'm so heartbroken right now. I proposed to her on Valentine's day, which is almost here. This year it will mean nothing but pain and betrayal.

Hopefully this is not real, and I'm crazy. The nudes are innocent and so are the apps the locked phone and her behavior. I know that is not the case, she is probably having either a cyber affair or traditional affair.

I'm going to collect more before I confront again.

Thanks for all your help.
zombiehead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 2:44 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 530
Everything lolablue said above.

Don't cry. Don't beg. Don't say, "but I love you....please stop". Everyone here can tell you that the same thing, bc if you appear weak, that will drive here away and make her feel like she's in control.
GoldenR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 2:54 PM   #22
Established Member
 
lolablue17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,210
Quote:
Originally Posted by zombiehead View Post
Hopefully this is not real, and I'm crazy. The nudes are innocent and so are the apps the locked phone and her behavior. I know that is not the case, she is probably having either a cyber affair or traditional affair.

I'm going to collect more before I confront again.

Thanks for all your help.
It's very natural to wish that maybe she's innocent. Denial is a shield which protects us from pain. But the sooner you stop hoping, the better you'll handle it.

You caught her, she had the chance to be honest, yet she chose to lie. You caught her again, she lied again, with excuses that shame your intelligence. You search for a solid proof, for what? Why? Because you want to confront. Why? to see her twisting and winding trying to make up some more lies?

You want to confront the wife you know in a relationship you know. But the wife and the relationship you know are dead, belong to the past. The minute you recognize that, you'll feel better and start doing things out of thinking about your interest and not out of frustration.

Last edited by lolablue17; 10th February 2017 at 2:57 PM..
lolablue17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:01 PM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 57,524
Quote:
Originally Posted by zombiehead View Post
Caught my wife taking nude photos of herself with her phone. Asked what she was doing and she said they were for her, then she said they were for me? We dated 3 years and have been married for 12 years and she has never sent me a nude pic or a sexy pic for that matter.

One week goes by, I hear her in our bathroom so I peek in and she is again taking nude pics of herself and posing too. I don't say a word for 3 days hoping the pics will be coming to me but nothing came.

Last night I confronted her about the 2nd nude photo shoot I witnessed. I told her to give me her phone so I can check it. She has her phone locked and will not let me in it. I told her there needs to be 100% transparency in our marriage. She through a fit about this slamming doors saying everyone is needs privacy.

This is all new with her. She never locked her phone, she has also shut down her email on our shared home PC. She is always on her phone and she seems very happy, like she is a teenager or something. Also she is being overly nice to me, telling me I'm her best friend, we are a team, initiating sex all the time.

There is something going on. There is a rat in the woodpile. I think she is having an affair. My gut is screaming at me.

I'm going to try to find a way to get in her phone and see what she is up too.

Do you people think I'm crazy or do you think she is having an affair?
Oh she's up to no good! Inappropriate behavior and the fact she freaked out like that, yes she's having an affair.

Hire a PI. Go stealth, get the information you need before confronting her again. Talk to a lawyer and get divorce papers ready. Doesn't mean you have to file or divorce her, but just having them ready will be a HUGE power move for you, especially if she refuses to end her affair and lies to you about ending it and wanting to save the marriage.

Sorry she did this to you, and sorry that she's about to bust up your family unit. So selfish.

Last edited by whichwayisup; 10th February 2017 at 3:04 PM..
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:06 PM   #24
Established Member
 
aliveagain's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Just East of the Rockies
Posts: 3,115
Friend, there are enough red flags in your first post to stampede a herd of bulls. I wouldn't put too much effort into this years Valentine's Day. This might be the perfect day to confront her. Talk to a lawyer first.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th February 2017 at 3:43 PM.. Reason: typo ~6
aliveagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:07 PM   #25
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 190
I can't make the decision to divorce this quickly. My head is spinning I can't think straight. I need some time to think this through. I want to know the extent of the betrayal before I decide anything. What if it is with my brother or one of my close friends? What if it is a cyber affair with some guy who lives in Spain?

I don't know what is going, but I do know she is having some sort of affair.

Until I know more I'm not going to make any decision about the future of our marriage.

I'm going to try and get in her phone while she is sleeping and put a VAR in the car, if that doesn't work then I will probably and her D papers.

I can't live my life like this, so I will be executing an action plan soon. I just need to take some time and think it through.
zombiehead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:14 PM   #26
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 3,990
I just have to say - I know perhaps I am an outlier......

But with kids, years of history together, I don't know that "file today!!!" Is the best course of action.

My husband confronted me. He didn't lay out any evidence, he simply asked "are you seeing someone else" and I was truthful with him - answered all of his questions with the ugly details. Went no contact that day, and ever since, and have fully invested myself in an attempt to repair the damage I had done.

Infidelity does end many marriages, but many also survive, a few even thrive.

She will probably be like many and deny and trickle truth (like my husband did when he cheated many years prior). I had the benefits of having been reading LS for some months before D Day, so I had a pretty good idea of how to handle things in a compassionate way (like taking 100% of the blame and responsibility).

I agree with Central, thinking about what you want, before confronting my be helpful.
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:15 PM   #27
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Down South
Posts: 1,163
Here's an idea: Let your anniversary / valentines day go without a mention....go pick up some slicks from a couple of apartment complexes and leave them out with the book, "Not just friends". Leave these in plain view. She'll have to ask and your response is: "I got these for you since you have chosen to betray the family, I'm now working on what's best for the family, you'll be served shortly" then crickets, do not be the first to speak after this exchange....I would go ahead and file for D. You can always stop the process but trust everyone here, standing your ground, do not every make requests such as the "pick me dance".

She has broken your home, not you....her opportunity to show you her phone has come and gone...she now has had time to delete the pics and cover her tracts which if she's semi-intelligent she has done. Thank goodness, she's a lousy cheater leaving the evidence as clearly as she has and not being able to contain her reactions any better than what she's done.

Sorry guy but all the wishing in the world will not reverse what she has done.

Last edited by kgcolonel; 10th February 2017 at 3:17 PM..
kgcolonel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:24 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by RecentChange View Post

My husband confronted me. He didn't lay out any evidence, he simply asked "are you seeing someone else" and I was truthful with him - answered all of his questions with the ugly details. Went no contact that day, and ever since, and have fully invested myself in an attempt to repair the damage I had done.
You realize that you're in the extreme minority with that reaction, right?
GoldenR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:24 PM   #29
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by zombiehead View Post
Phone records are not showing anything. Her calls are clean. She is smart so she is probably using a messaging app of some sorts. Also she switched to wifi calling default so those calls and texts are not showing any contact information, just the number of wifi and text calls. If she is send out the pics through a messaging app it will not show on the phone bill.
If she has an iPhone and the other person has an iPhone, she can be using FaceTime audio for calls which wouldn't show up on the bill. iMessages wouldn't either.
AnneP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2017, 3:27 PM   #30
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 190
Thanks everyone for your input. I've been reading online all day about the different types of affairs. So the cyber affair is EA and the traditional is the PA. Emotional and Physical are the 2 types of affairs. So what is emotional about sending nudes and sexting? Seems stupid not emotional.

Anyway my situation makes me think about the movie Old School, "you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a g%%damn magic show".

That's similar to my story, think all is good, happy marriage great kids good sex no fighting about to go skiing ect ect. Come home early and catch your wife taking nude pics.
zombiehead is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Boyfriend wants nude pics? Cadenza Dating 46 21st March 2014 7:45 PM
Nude pics Ultimatum Irisu General Relationship Discussion 47 9th November 2013 11:56 AM
Nude pics Cherry Blossom 35 Long-Distance Relationships 28 13th March 2008 9:24 PM
Caught bro looking at nude pics! pinkDoll Family 18 9th September 2004 5:41 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:27 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.