Angrywife32 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hi everyone... I'm new here.. I don't know who talk to.. I dont know where to go.. I hope you can help me I would appreciate any advice. I have been married for almost 7 years, our marriage isn't perfect but I thought we were at least loyal to each other. A few months ago my husband and I have been having issues due to his addiction to porn, to make a long story short he would rather watch and lust over women online than have sex with me.. I have confronted him about this however he refused to stop. Then yesterday after days for investigating I found out about his secret email and saw that since 2013 he has been sending messages to women online in our area to meet up for one night stand, orgy, and other disgusting things! I confronted him and showed him the email and although he was already caught red handed with solid proof that he has been sending his pictures to these women for sex he refused to admit that it was him! I did not fight or argue with him he even had the guts to swore to me that he never slept with anyone and said that it was not him who sent those messages. But I am not stupid I know how he writes and I know it was him! He disgust me! The mere thought of living in the same apartment disgust me. He is a pig! A pervert! and the worst thing of it all was he has no remorse he made it seem that I am crazy and that I am accusing him of something that he did not do... I would feel less ****ty if he at least had the balls to admit his infidelity and appologized for his cheating... At this point I don't even know how many women he slept with... The things that he did... I don't care to know anymore.. I'm done for me this marriage is over.. I have wasted 8 years of my life with him not anymore! I hate him and I will never forgive him! I am not a perfect wife, but I am a good and loyal wife. And I do not deserve this. Unfortunately I am currently unemployed and had been struggling financially and I know that divorce and moving out will cost money. I have no choice but to find a stable employment asap and save.. It may take me 2 years to save the money that I need to start over again... I don't know what to do I have a plan and my decision is final... But please I need your help how can I stand living with him... Acting like nothing is wrong... Like everything is normal... That is whats killing me... I know that in time I will have my day.... But how? I know I have to use my head... But he disgust me! He is a disgusting pig for what he did to me! Help......... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Contact a relative or friend and ask if you can live on their couch. You would be amazed at how supportive people can be if you just simply ask. Clean out the bank accounts, gather your evidence of his infidelity, call a lawyer. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 I confronted him and showed him the email and although he was already caught red handed with solid proof that he has been sending his pictures to these women for sex he refused to admit that it was him! I did not fight or argue with him he even had the guts to swore to me that he never slept with anyone and said that it was not him who sent those messages. But I am not stupid I know how he writes and I know it was him! He disgust me! The mere thought of living in the same apartment disgust me. He is a pig! A pervert! and the worst thing of it all was he has no remorse he made it seem that I am crazy and that I am accusing him of something that he did not do... It is called gaslighting. I am so sorry, what a horrible situation. Get yourself tested for STDS ASAP, and consult an attorney to find out your legal rights here. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angrywife32 Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 Yes I will I am planning to do that as well thank you so much Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angrywife32 Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 I have no family here... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 First and foremost, get checked for STDs immediately. If he has been doing what you described, there is a chance that you might be infected. Secondly, even though your family is not close by, is there a chance they would help you with a plane ticket to get to them? From there, you could file for divorce. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 I have no family here... Contact your family, get a plane ticket and leave. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Contact your family, get a plane ticket and leave. No, speak to a divorce lawyer first before leaving - if that means leaving the country. It's important that you know your rights and not give up anything before you leave. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angrywife32 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 Thank you... I will definitely consult a lawyer Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 You're right to just leave this guy. No more discussion. He can't even give you the decency of admitting what he did. What a coward! Is there some reason why he can't move out instead of you? Do you own or lease your home? If you lease, who's name is the lease in 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 The people on Chump Lady see this stuff all of the time. Many have been through it. If you need another support, without worrying about being judged or told it was somehow "your fault" it's a good place to go. Just don't let it make you bitter forever. Get tested! See a lawyer and don't sleep with your a-hole husband anymore! Good for you for not letting his fakeness, lies and bullshyte act bring you down to your knees. These kinds of guys are good at two things: collecting vaginas and manipulation. They will act charming, self-pitying or raging to get you back in line. Expect it all And gave a plan to deal with his sob story, rage and him trying to blow smoke up your arse. He will probably drag out the divircecas long as he can too. Seems to be the type. They want to cheat but can't live without "Mommy" at home to take care of them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Your hubby is pure scum. "He's somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty. The act is one thing, but the denial. Agree with others, attorney, Clinic, family. Don't look back. This is not a one night stand that lead to honesty and contrition. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angrywife32 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 You are absolutely right.... but I don't have any money I am just depending on him for money... I am currently looking for a job save a little and leave also, I will go to the doctor to get checked for STD also, to consult an lawyer here costs money.... If I do have the money I would have left right away... that is the only reason I am still here..... You have no Idea to sleep in the same bed, cook and dine with this pervert! i hate him!!! every minute of being here is killing me... and my family is no help as well.... it's just me myself and I.... I have no choice but to wait until i'm ready! I will never forgive him never! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angrywife32 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 Yes exactly! he is exactly like that! and yes I never believed his bull**** and I never will! right now he acts like nothing happened and trying to cuddle with me I feel like kicking him in the face... the emotional and verbal abuse that I have been trough this man, the emotional abandonment and not to mention his porn addiction and cheating! I need a break from everything... I don't deserve him! "dreamingoftigers" I can't wait for the day to get out of here.... my plan is to keep calm be civil go to work save and save! work out and SPEND AS MUCH TIME AWAY FROM HOME! then one day when I am ready I will pack all my things! and leave! also, I have v-log videos of his emotional abuse I have kept screenshots of his messages with women with his picture on it! so when divorce comes I have something to show! there is no way I am filing for irreconcilable differences I am filing for INFIDELITY AND ABUSE! I WILL MAKE SURE THAT IT IS GOING TO BE REALLY DIRTY FOR HIM! THAT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I have ever been this MAD in my life.... and the worse thing is that he shows that he changed post these bible verses online and reads the bible! what a hypocrite!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angrywife32 Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 yes he is a coward! the lease is under my name we have two cars that is under his name but I had paid for the down payment of our new car that is one of my problems... and if I can't kick him out just yet... he pays for everything and I am in the process of finding employment... also, when the time comes (OH GOD I CAN'T WAIT!) I wouldn't want to live here his mom lives 2 buildings away and his sister lives 3 buildings away... that's why I want to save and be prepared I will move out of this city and start fresh..... also, the law here is 1 year seperation before I can file for divorce... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Honourably honest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 You deserve way better than this. Get the health checks done, prepare yourself and proceed to get control of your life back. Hoe dare he put a young marriage through this. It is not going to be easy, it's going to hurt, but eventually you will be through it, dignity in tact. He's a complete loser, void of any moral worth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
healingsoul Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Porn is a horrible addiction and it will really mess with your mind sexually and most often leads to affairs. I am so sorry for all the rejection and pain you have been through. You need to talk to someone to get legal advice. Depending on you State you have certain rights and ability to get part of what you own as a couple. But many times a spouse will hide money or remove it if they think the spouse is considering divorcing. It can get really ugly and difficult. Do you have any people for support? Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 The great thing is you know what you do and dont want and what you wont put up with. Check out chump lady, she has a new book on "how to leave a cheater" there's good support there too. Your anger will propel you to get out of this situation! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Sometimes local church groups will help you, it never hurts to ask if they will help you to buy the plane ticket. Different social service agencies through your local government may also be able to help you with the legal. Start calling the local women's help groups in your area for assistance. There is all kinds of free help available if you know where to look. Start with your church. As everyone has already suggested, get tested for all STD's, talk to a lawyer and move his nasty cheating a$$ onto the couch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Yes exactly! he is exactly like that! and yes I never believed his bull**** and I never will! right now he acts like nothing happened and trying to cuddle with me I feel like kicking him in the face... the emotional and verbal abuse that I have been trough this man, the emotional abandonment and not to mention his porn addiction and cheating! I need a break from everything... I don't deserve him! "dreamingoftigers" I can't wait for the day to get out of here.... my plan is to keep calm be civil go to work save and save! work out and SPEND AS MUCH TIME AWAY FROM HOME! then one day when I am ready I will pack all my things! and leave! also, I have v-log videos of his emotional abuse I have kept screenshots of his messages with women with his picture on it! so when divorce comes I have something to show! there is no way I am filing for irreconcilable differences I am filing for INFIDELITY AND ABUSE! I WILL MAKE SURE THAT IT IS GOING TO BE REALLY DIRTY FOR HIM! THAT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I have ever been this MAD in my life.... and the worse thing is that he shows that he changed post these bible verses online and reads the bible! what a hypocrite!!!!!!!!!! If you continue to live with him and share a bed with him after discovery of the infidelity, in some states you won't be able to file adultery after a certain length of time. Best to check your legal sitch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Honourably honest Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 It's all well and good having a plan, but your life is now passing you by. Your happiness is is on hold whilst your body abates and your loving nature spins in the abyss. Just a thought, but you could end up missing a large chunk of the Life that you,very been apportioned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I know what the pain you're feeling is like, and you aren't alone. I also know what it feels like to be lied to so convincingly you start to doubt black and white evidence you had in your hand. For me, what helped me the most was journaling. 'Course, I accidentally spent a month or so trying to drink the pain away but that kinda made it a whole lot worse--and that's besides the point. My point is if you have a diary or a journal that's a great place to collect yourself. You can plan there, keep the lies straightened out and to just vent the pain. I think I might have become certifiably insane if I didn't have one. But even if you don't have or start one, just know that you aren't alone in feeling like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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